LOL!

AGREE!

Also...

You ever heard those right-wing crazy people talk about how there's a Jewish conspiracy and how the Jews run the media and they have all the money and they pretty much dominate the world?

No?

Well I've heard of it and that would pretty much leave one day of the year when no one else is around to have a whole year of planning of world domination.

That's Christmas. Merry Christmas buddies.

It's Christmas Eve and you know I am hardly sleeping,
There are no presents waiting for me on the floor.
It's the one day of the year when I use what my super Jewish powers are for!

HEY!

Got introduced to the network at my bar mitzah,
Got my code name and number it's one six seven six one.
While you're sitting around that tree and that knock-off menorah,
You're idle, we work,
Justice is done.

Princess Di, we killed her!
El nino, we made it!
Reggie White is stupid!
Billy Joel, let's trade him.

Princess Di, we killed her!
El nino, we made it!
Reggie White is stupid!
Billy Joel, let's trade him.

If the neo-nazis know we're part of the conspiracy,
And if it's as strong as they think, you think they'd be nicer to me.
Still mad about what happened to your pal Jesus?
Well, if he didn't die for your sins,
You'd be going to hell with the rest of us.

Princess Di, we killed her!
El nino, we made it!
Reggie White is stupid!
Billy Joel, let's trade him.

Princess Di, we killed her!
El nino, we made it!
Reggie White is stupid!
Billy Joel, let's trade him.

Wouldn't you like to know what we do on Christmas?
You think we're sitting around polishing our horns?
Making soup with the blood of the Christian born?
You think I'm being rude?
We go to the movies and eat Chinese food.

This is the disclaimer: My name is Adam. I am a Jewish boy. I am very neurotic that people are gonna getmad at me. I like Jews, I like Christian people, there should be no problem, it's not that funny.

Ya mom is so fat (how fat is she?)
Ya mama is so big and fat that she can get busy
with twenty-two burritos, but times are rough
I seen her in the back of Taco Bell with handcuffs
The sad fact (what?) ya mama smokes crack (what?)
She got a burning yearning and there's no turning back
Her knuckles drag down to the ground when she walk
Spit comes out that bitch mouth when she talk

Naked on a mountain top, tootin on a flizoot
Ridin on a horse drinking whisky out a bizoot
She's got the wings and teeth of an african bat
Her middle name is Mudbone and on top of all that:

Ya mama got a glass eye with the fish in it
Ya mama, ya mama, ya mama

And she was the kind of girl who you would give up eating meat for
No more salami
No more steak or potatoes
Yeah you would walk on down to the health food store
And buy hummus and tabouli and babaganoush and ricecakes ricecakes ricecakes

Nose ring girl I love you
Nose ring girl I want you I want you I want you

THE DICK VITALE DRINKING GAME

*It is strongly recommended that this game NOT be played if/when Dick is calling a Duke basketball game.

Rules:

#1 Dick Head
One (1) Dick Head must be selected for the group. The Dick Head should be knowledgeable of the Dick Vitale Universe, ie. Duke, Coach K, and all that is front-runner. The Dick Head shall be the final arbiter in all disputes and judgements, and shall be called simply Dick Head.

#2 Coach K
A) Anytime Dick mentions Coach K or Mike Krzyzewski, the first person to yell “I coach for relationships,” gets a pass, but all others must drink (3).
B) Dick is calling a Duke game, and praises Coach K right after K has clearly dropped an F-bomb on a ref, the Dick Head must take a shot.

#3 Duke
A) First mention = drink (1), second = drink (2), etc.
B) “Cameron Crazies/Dukies”: first mention = drink (1), second = drink (2), etc.
C) “What’s not to love about Duke” = drink (3)
D) Shameless references to self as “Dukie Vitale” = Dick Head takes a shot

#4 Carolina
A) First mention = drink (1), second = drink (2), etc.
B) At every mention of “Kris Lang” first to shout “nice photo Krissy!” gets pass, all else drink (1)

#5 Beautiful Wife
Each time Dick mentions his, or anyone’s “beautiful wife” all female participants must drink (3)

#6 Hair
Every time Dick spouts off about someone’s hair, such as:
“I’m so jealous of Billy Donovan’s beautiful hairstyle” or “I’d do anything to have that head of hair (on Tom Izzo)” the baldest person in the room gets to hand out a shot.

#7 Dickisms
All must drink (1) for any Dickisms (Dick Head shall govern):

“Diaper Dandy” “Rolls-Roycer” "PTP’er” “Trifecta (Dick calls it Trifecter)” "3-S’s” “Little Davey Odom” and so on …

#8 My Buddy (or my friend)
Whenever Dick starts name dropping, ie. “My good friend Bob Knight,” or “My buddy Brent Musburger,” or “This morning I was talking to A-Rod again,”
drink (2)

#9 I Gotta Believe (or I truly/really believe)
Most commonly heard as “I really believe Jason Williams is one of the top point guards in the nation, college or pro,” or “I gotta believe that North Carolina is going to be back.” Drink (1)

#10 Personal Agenda
Every time Dick starts harping on his personal agenda, such as eliminating the alternate possession or changing rules so that graduation rates are not impacted by transfers, the last person to yell “shut up Dick!” must drink (5)

#11 Michelangelo
When Dick whips out a dead horse from the past, such Dean Smith “the Michelangelo of coaches,” or “Shane Battier for President,” all drink (3), and the oldest participant hands out a shot.

In this post we do not let this thread die
 

KEEP THE THREAD ALIVE! WOOOOOOOO
 

Ole!
Bouncing souls no one can beat us
We drink beer and wear Adidas
Anywhere we get the itch
We're off to find a proper pitch
Lace your sambas get on out
Off we go to kick it about
Win or lose we're having fun
We won't quit until we're done
We got heart when we play
Take you on anyday.
Ole!

that's funny.:p

I'm so tired. I want to finish with my homework right now, not drink coffee.