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DeltaBrat Tennis and Golf are a road less traveled, not feminine. ACEDAWG What your friend does is called "parenting". I can't do hair, but if necessitated I would learn, but damn if my Pop would have let me and my brothers sit in the kitchen while my mother and her friends had the hotcomb going. |
Would you let your son, part 2
Would you let your son be a cheerleader!?!?!? I imagine Doggy's response as another Hell effing no with further elaboration and examples from the media. :D |
Late, but.........
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And the reasons why I will not let my son do these kind of activities is NOT the same as Doggy's. I couldn't care less what is gender appropiate or not. I do care if my son becomes a target of harrassment and bullying. |
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Even though my SO and I disagree on this I would let my son play the flute or be a cheerleader if that is what he wanted to do. People are going to be harassed no matter instrument or activity they pick up. If someone doesn't like you they'll pick on your hairstyle, eyecolor, the sound of your voice. There is no protecting kids from that.
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I guess I am having a problem with the world "let." I, as a Black woman, am currently being brainwashed by academics ( I am in a doctoral program). As a woman raised by a woman from the Seezouth, I truly understand the concept of "let." I wonder what we do when we "don't let" our children do x,y,z? Do we...spank them? Do we ridicule them? Do we firmly suggest they don't? Do we remind them, as I am assuming Dionysus would, that there may be a lot of backlash that they may soon wish they'd made another decision to avoid?
I just don't see what the alternative is? I can PRAY that God makes my son want to participate in "gender specific" sports, but beyond that, what am I supposed to do? I mean, I had a Bruh basically tell me last week that if I didn't MAKE my son play football that he would grow up to be an Alpha! What's that about? On another token there is a girl at my son's school who is all but "feminine." She plays football (better than the boys), basketball (better than the boys), cut off all her hair, to about ear length and wears the B-ball shorts and sneakers EVERY SINGLE DAY! Are we worried that she will be masculine? That she will be a dyke? What gives? Am I making this too serious? I may. I am sorry, I just took a final for a class on the sociology of gender and sexuality. Forgive me. |
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What if they disobeyed?
For those who are adamant that their child not participate in an activity that they deem inappropriate.....
What would you do if your child signed up for the activity/joined the team, etc., without your knowledge? Is this the sort of thing that would get a high schooler kicked out of the house? would you make them quit? Would you spank them? I guess the bigger questions are: 1. What values do you pass on to your child? 2. How do you instill those values in the child???????? do you use rewards??? punishment for failure to comply? |
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On extra curriculars generally, What if your son is not athletically inclined or simply does not have an interest in or enjoy sports. How would you deal with that? And, out side of sports what would be an acceptable extra curricular? Would you force them to do a sport? For how long? At one point would they be allowed to pursue something they were interested in? Would you choose objecting over their choice of activity over having a relationship with your child? (I was just wondering because I have seen damage done to children and families when a son does not fit the "boy" mold their parents dictate- and I am not talking about sexuality, just interests not deemed masculine enough. These are straight kids.) |
BYW, I asked Mr. Kimmie1913 (who has a 7 year old son) about some of this. He did not have a problem with the flute. He said to him, msuic is music and he never thought of instruments as having firm gender roles. He then said "now figure skating or ballet is something different..." He definitely was not feeling the easy bake oven. He could, however, see that this might not be such a strange request in a family where mom and dad share the cooking so the chold sees dad in the kitchen at the stove and are not assigning a gender role to it that is exclusively femaile. Not feeling the cheerleading so much either.
He did say he feels that people try too hard to make a correlation between what you do and what your sexual preference witll be. But as time goes on we are seeing more and more "manly men" who are gay, despite football and strong gender roles etc. |
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I draw the line at cheerleading!! ***and this is why this is up to each individual parent*** |
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To the original point of letting my son be a cheerleader? No. Hell no. No way. Nada, Un-uh, It ain't happening. As a divorced dad of two daughters, I can't do hair either....but then that's what baseball caps and near-by babysitters who will hook me up if need be, are for :cool: |
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And please....don't act like no one has ever seen a male cheerleader.....hell, to palm some booty, I'd be a base anyday!:D LOL, just kidding...but seriously, once again...I think people have the misconception that a man will lose his sexual identity if he participates in these types of activities - it's not so..... |
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