i think it is important to talk about your sexual past. you sleep with whomever they slept with, so you should at least have some idea (and it doesn't matter if it were protected or unprotected sex)! i think that in order to have a sexual relationship with someone, it is important to be able to DISCUSS things like, how many people they slept with, if they have been tested, etc. plus, if you can't go into a store and buy condoms, i think you aren't ready to have sex!

i don't want to know the details....one time, at band camp...but i feel like there needs to be an open conversation. personally, i don't have sex with random people, so i have never found it to be odd to have the conversation. i think if i met some guy at a bar and went home with him, i would be less comfortable talking to him about it......although, i guess that is when i would need to talk about it more. anyway, i feel like i should only have sex with someone if i really care about/ love them, so if some guy told me that he "loved" 23 other women....i would probably run screaming in the other direction. lol.

I am sure that many people wont agree with me, but here goes.....

I think that the number of the people does matter. My beliefs and the way I was brought up was that sex is something that is shared with someone that you love and care for. So, when people have slept with even 8 people, I find that outrageous because I cant believe that that person has been in love 8 times. Surely, they slept with 8 different people without love, and it makes me think of what kind of person they are.

I am not judging any of you based on numbers or anything like that, but I would think twice about someone I was considering sleeping with if I knew their numbers- not to mention any sexually transmitted diseases!:eek:

I dated a guy who said he would marry the 10th person he slept with. He lost his virginity when he was like 15 and now he has a girlfriend who coincidentally is #10. Wonder if he'l hold to his promise. lol

If someone lost their virginity at a young age they aren't going to be very wise-- so at the time they may have thought they were in love, but when they get older they realize how stupid they were. So if they have a lot of sex partners find out what age they lost their virginity it may have made a big difference. But If it is a problem then don't date the person bc it will always bug you. I never want to date a virgin bc I feel guilty that I'm not and when I went to Christian school I knew so many girls that were waiting until they were married, so I would hate to 'take' a virgin when there is someone that has been waiting for one if that makes any sense.

Male or female, I don't think that the number shouldn't exceed single digits before your late twenties/early thirties. To me, that would be too many.

I agree that if someone lost their virginity at a young age, they aren't going to be wise about sex, at least for a long time. I myself am very careful, and won't get into the numbers situation because I think it's hard to determine how many is "too many" in general, but I know a lot of people who are extremely stupid in their sexual lives and it makes it hard to respect them when they don't care about themselves.

I want to address the "waiting until marriage" discussion: I personally believe it would be very difficult to marry a man without having had sex with him before the wedding night. Sex has become such an important part of many marriages, and when you don't get a chance to "test the waters," so to speak, you may be selling the marriage short. I have a great deal of respect for ANYONE who can wait until marriage or engagement to have sex because the pressure is so great in society to have sex. But I myself cannot picture marrying a man who I do not have sexual chemistry with. I know people can change, but I think sex should be something that is always enjoyed and doesn't have to be worked through during the first week/month/year of a marriage.

Just my opinion, but for all of you who want to wait, I do have a TREMENDOUS amount of respect for you; you have amazing willpower!

IMO, and I think valkyrie will agree-- # does not matter. Whether or not they've been tested and are clean matters--and that's the same whether they've slept with 1 person or 35.

What's in the past is in the past. I would not want to be persecuted by someone in the present for something I did long before I met them--since peoplegrow and change and mature and we were not there and cannnot know the circumstances in their lives at a time when they may have been more promiscuous.

What matters to me is that the present relationship is 100% monogomaus.

Amy is right. The total number doesn't matter.

Although . . . the total number of friends of mine she may have been with might be a factor lol. It would kind of suck if all your friends knew all her kinky habits and were like:

Well did she do "this" yet? lol.

Ha, I think that is a good rule of thumb. You also have to remember that people grow and change. Just because someone (male or female) was a slut/player at one point, doesn't mean that they still are. Lots of college kids get stuck in a vicious cycle of doing it for all the wrong reasons, and if they racked up some number, it shouldn't matter, as long as they have put that phase of their life behind them.

I absolutely agree!

I also agree with gphiangel624 on the waiting until marriage topic. It would be impossible for me to get very far into a relationship without, uhm, "testing the waters" because sexual chemistry is a HUGE, IMPORTANT part of a relationship. Not to be crass, but I wouldn't buy a car without test driving it, you know?

ttt

I would not continue to puruse a relationship with someone who had multiple partners in the past. That's just me........call me judgmental but we judge possible partners on all sorts of things, this is just a big one for me.

The number isn't important, but I don't want to be intimate with a man who's slept with half of the town. How you've protected yourself is what's important.

How many people really get tested before having sex with a new partner? As many one-night stands I hear my girlfriends dish about...I can't believe the majority of people in our generation even take the time out to do so. We like to talk about how independent we are, and how we "don't follow those antiquated rules," but we have to protect ourselves.

I'd prefer any guy I go out with to have been with five or fewer women and that includes any sexual act that ISN'T going all the way. Oh, and they should be tested too.

Before marriage:

Stay outta grown folks business...

If you have to ask a question, then you better be ready for the answer--otherwise, do not ask the question...

And what is up with the boldness to demand to see someone's "player cards"? SO the hayle what somebody's been sport fcukin'... People DO lie... Especially about their status, what they've done and who they did it with... And you would only know if they CAN do something--because, err, they have had "practice"--IF you actually DID have sex with them...

The ONLY thing you can do when it comes to these matters is to protect yourself at all times...

Don't date a player if you cain't handle the game...

The fact is you cain't turn a ho into a housewife...

Or, you don't marry a race car driver if you want stay in the speed-limit...

And lastly, having sex is not a spectator sport.