It is by devine providence and/or remarkably good luck that this child wasn't badly injured or killed.

Sorry, but anyone who believes that this mother, who had an 18 month old baby out at 3:00 AM, let alone left it with anyone besides a family member or certified baby sitter is anything but totally uncaring, selfish or stupid, either has no children or no clue.

Raising a young child is a mortal responsibility. And a moral one.

Generally, I like to be a little "middle of the road" and give the benefit of the doubt, but not in this case.

This situation is unconsionable.

So in other words, once that baby pops out, the woman should stay home chained to the sink? While hubby goes about his merry way, no doubt. :rolleyes:

One of my sisters has 2 little girls and goes out with us when she can. The girls are always left with their dad or grandma. And yes, we've had many 3 AMers. That absolutely does NOT make her a bad mother - she realizes that part of being a good parent is being a whole person - having a full life and taking time to do things with your friends. That's a lesson she is teaching her little girls and anyone who doesn't is the one with the problem, IMO.

Sorry if I am extrapolating (how's that for a big Monday morning word?) but I've seen so many marriages break up and women hating their lives because they thought they weren't allowed to be anything but a mother anymore.

I agree with ECUGSS and 33girl here (and for the record, I don't have kids, so I'm sure some of you will automatically discount my opinion). Well said, too, 33girl, about the need for women to have LIVES of their own after they have children.

The thing that pisses me off is that everybody is so quick to judge this woman without knowing the whole story -- the article is trying very hard to paint a picture of her being thoughtless and awful, but we don't really know if that's the case (maybe one of the sisters is trying to cover her own butt by making the mother look bad, no?).

The real question here is: what about the father? Maybe he's out every night partying all night long, and nobody would even say "boo" about that, would they? Maybe this woman *is* a responsible mother and never goes out but ONCE decided to go out. Why does she deserve harsh judgment because of the TIME OF DAY she went out? Would it be okay if she left her child with sitters to go to a bridge game at 2:00 in the afternoon? It seems that there are some very narrow roles for women being prescribed here.

Granted I don't have kids, but I've never heard of a certified babysitter. If you can't trust your sorority sisters, who are really *like* family, who can you trust?

I agree with 33girl and valkyrie.

It seems to me like this mother did arrange for what she thought would be responsible care for her child - namely, her sorority sisters. It was her sisters who then left the child alone.

Women should not be forced to put their entire lives on hold just because they have small children. As long as the child is cared for by a responsible adult or older teen - whether that's a babysitter (certified or not), dad, grandma, etc - mom should be free to go play bridge with her friends, go out to dinner, go volunteer at a soup kitchen, or go out and party until 3am.

Arranging for childcare is not the sole responsibility of the mother. Dad can pick up the phone and call the babysitter just as easily as mom can.

I adamantly refuse to put my life on hold when I have children. I informed my husband, long before we were even engaged, that I intend to continue to have a full-time career when I become a mother. The kids will go to day care. Ideally, one or both of us will be able to telecommute once a week so junior isn't totally being raised by strangers - but I flat out refuse to be a SAHM.

</soapbox> :)

Nope. I didn't say that, did I? In fact, you might read my post above where I question where the father is and why we don't hear about him. IF he's still in the picture at all, and he allows this kind of thing to happen, he shares the responsibility and guilt.

But I won't back down on my thoughts on this. At the moment, we're watching our 14 month old grand daughter two days a week so both our daughter and her husband (ages 22 and 20) can work, and go out without paying for child care. We're pretty closely involved with children this age and young parents as well.

However, when you have the responsibility for a young child who can't take care of him/herself, everything else must pretty much take a back seat.

And, Im sorry, leaving a baby beginning (not until) at 3:00 AM with these "sisters" is just not responsible.

This is a young life at stake.

Congratulations. I wish you well on your career.

My wife graduated Cum Laude from college and later sat on the board of directors of an international volunteer organization with chapters in 81 countries, and now runs her own very successful business.

She chose to stay at home with our kids, as her mother, who is also a college graduate chose to stay home with her. In retrospect, I applaud that, but I didn't necessarily agree at the time.

I think they would be highly offended at the insinuation that there's anything wrong with a "SAHM."

By the way, many high schools and the Red Cross have courses to "certify" people as babysitters.

Finally, I have to point out again that this mother was BEGINNING the party at 3:00 AM, not staying out until then. That's no way to take care of a baby.

Responsibility
 

Responsibility involves stepping up to the plate and taking blame even if the situation is "unfair". Yeah, that babysitter is to blame but in the end it's the parent who is responsible for that child.

That's how it works in business, the military, and politics. The higher up is responsible and takes the ultimate blame or prize home.

-Rudey
--Now this wouldn't be an issue if kids were all raised on a communal farm far away from their parents

Re: Responsibility
 

What a concept. Wonder why nobody ever thought of that.

I was in no way implying that there's anything wrong with being a SAHM. My mother-in-law was a SAHM. The mother of my best friend from childhood was a SAHM. Many of my neighbors and friends are SAHMs (and even a SAHD). All of these people have bachelor's degrees at least, and some (including my MIL) also have master's degrees.

What I am saying, is that *I* could never be a SAHM. It's just not in me to have my entire world revolve around a baby. That's not to say that being a mother is not a priority - just that it's one of many priorities.

And what annoys me, is the expectation that it's the mother who stays home. Nobody has ever asked my husband if he intends to quit his job and stay home with the baby. But when I tell people I intend to continue my career, some of them look at me like I'm nuts. It wouldn't be a question if I had a penis. :mad:

i think both of you have very good points. deltalum has experience raising children and has a p-o-v that some of us don't have since we don't have children.
aephi alum also has some good points.

i think that when you become a parent you suddenly have a whole new view of the world and your priorities can change. not to say they will, but for some people they do. when you hold that precious baby in your arms and know that it is yours, there's a love there that is so different than any love you have ever known. so i've been told anyways. i don't have kids, but i've always been told this. so i think deltalum has a few good points that stem from this view of children.

aephi alum, i think you are that there is a terrible stereotype or expectation of women to drop everything for their children instead of the man. i agree, why should women be the ones to stay home? i too want to pursue a career and intend to keep working after i have a child. there's nothing wrong with that.

as for sahm's, i think it's great what deltalum's wife and m.i.l did, but some women do feel it is a waste of their degrees and years of hard work at school to all of a sudden not have a job just b/c they have a baby.i'm very impressed with what they did and can tell that they must have loved it. but do they feel they wasted their degrees at all? i'm just wondering cuz i think i'd feel that way. i have a friend who is a sahm and she hates it. she is starting to resent her husband and her son and she doesn't like that.

so both of you have very good points when it comes to parenthood. as for this mother, only those involved know the real story about what happened. and where the father is, well, that's a good question. most likely he isn't in the picture at all.

shelley j
sigma k

I don't think that she should have left her child alone that late by any means, and I think she should have chosen her babysitters a little more carefully, but I think that she didn't need to leave her child with someone who is certified in babysitting necessarily. I babysat for 7 years and was never certified, yet many parents thought I was a better babysitter because I genuinely cared about the kids. That woman needed to find a babysitter who was responsible and trustworthy. Obviously her sisters were not.