![]() |
Quote:
|
I don't know about any of you all, but when we vote on PNMs, and someone has something not so nice to say about a PNM, you are supposed to trust your sisters that they are helping make the right decisions. If you have a strenuous objection to someone, you need to make your voice heard, and make sure you have credibility among your chapter members.
Quote:
|
Quote:
Being polite does not equate to being "two-faced." I don't know how your organization works, but in mine there is silent voting -- which means that if a girl isn't extended a bid, then it's a strong possibility that many of the chapter members won't know why. Only the nominating committee really knows for sure, and they are not allowed to talk about any negative votes. So, it would not be two-faced for a sister to say that she doesn't know the reason for a rushee not getting a bid, and it would not be "bogus" for her to continue being polite to that rushee in the future. Not all rushees have the qualities that a sorority is looking for in a new member, but that doesn't mean that the girls can't be friendly to each other outside the chapter. |
In COB, it helps to have different types of events. There may be activities that you may invite a large group of women to, after posting notices around campus. It helps draw PNM and increases the numbers that you can consider. Then, there are invitation only parties. You should always tell the women that as the process continues that invitation only events occur.
If you make it clear to the PNM that COB is still a selection process and the chapter may not extend bids to everyone, it makes it much easier. I think it's appropriate to tell them the chapter makes the final decision, not you. Then you can still remain cordial with her if she doesn't receive a bid. |
Quote:
|
If I know a girl who has a hard-core drug problem, do you really think that just because I tell her that's why she didn't get a bid, she's going to wake up and say, "Oh, I do? I guess I never noticed. Well, bye, I'm off to go check myself into rehab!"
Or even if I say, "Well, we just found you loud and obnoxious," is she going to say, "Guess I better pipe down!"? No, she's going to say, "I am who I am, and screw them if they don't want me." And I can't say I blame her! Quite frankly, it's not my job to reform all the women on campus with serious issues. Even if I decided I wanted to I couldn't. That's the job of a counselor or a psychiatrist, not a sorority. |
arrowgirl-
Yeah the thread is crappy, but I want you to know that I (and my chapter) *always* error on the side of giving someone a chance. However, we've had lots of problems with it! We have a hard time with attendance since we extend bids to girls who aren't gung-ho about a sorority (we think we can change their minds, but they go back to boyfriends and studying anyway). We've had bad publicity from the behavior of other pledges, and have had internal arguements and problems due to the rude behavior of another. I am saying, because of these bad events, I advocate selection! Every GLO is based on selection, and I think it has a good purpose. Selection is not just picking out the good, but trying to identify people who would not be good memebrs of an org. Identifying people who would not be good fits is much harder than identifying people you think would really add soemthing to your group. Obviously you don't know people from a 30 min conversation, but I think it is a good idea to try and use sisters' knowledge of PNM's behavior outside the rush room as part of the process. That's what recs are about! And if you know someone is unstable, or a liar or habitually behaves in an inappropriate fashion, chances are they'll do that in your org too. Anway, you can say I'm a bitch for it, but if your in an org, you do it too. -M |
Quote:
|
Quote:
Being in a sorority means you try to live up to the ideals and principles your organization was founded upon. Most of the time this includes kindness to EVERYONE whether they are a member of your organization or not. Just because you don't want somebody in your sorority doesn't mean that you have any excuse to be mean. |
Quote:
|
Quote:
That's not what we're saying at all. What I and some other GCers are trying to get across is that being blunt to a rushee isn't how we do things in the NPC. And just because we don't give a rushee a specific reason for why she didn't get a bid does NOT mean that we're being two-faced or that "all of those stereotypes of women in sororities are true." Frankly, I would consider it EXTREMELY rude for one of my sisters to say something insulting to a rushee about her personality, morals, etc. To me, that would be very disrespectful to a girl who showed enough interest in my GLO to take the time to attend a Rush party. Just because that girl may not be a good "fit" for the chapter doesn't give me the right to insult her. I know that NPHC orgs have different policies concerning Rush, and I can certainly understand that. I have the utmost respect for NPHC organizations, and I'm sure that they handle rushees in a way that is best for them. Please understand and respect the fact that we in the NPC have different policies, and that what works for you may not work for us. |
I know I'm gonna get a lot of flak over this one, but I'm going to have to side with starang21. While I don't agree with *everything* he (I'm assuming you're a guy...right?) says, he's got a point. Everything is not all sunshine and roses. Why gloss over the truth? I'm not saying we should go around informing PNMs of their faults (like saying "You're too annoying, so we're not going to pledge you"; "You have a bad haircut, you talk too much, and besides, you smell, so you're not getting a bid") but many of them *will* get angry even if you do let them down politely. So instead of giving subtle hints like "These next COB events are invitation only," what's wrong with being honest and saying, "I'm really sorry, but you won't get a bid." Provided you *are* sorry, of course...if not, then just leave that part out.
I don't think this thread is "crappy" at all, because as I said, everything isn't peachy all the time and things like this do come up, and often (gasp!). We shouldn't ignore it. |
>>>Originally posted by starang21
so being in a sorority means that you smile in someone's face you really don't like? then i guess all of those stereotypes of women in sororities are true? ok, cool with me. might as well be truthful with them instead, or just not tell them period. <<< No, being in a sorority means that you make every effort to recruit members with whom you share things in common and feel will be a good fit overall and you do not recruit members who will not reflect well on your sisterhood or be contributing members of your organization. Finding the balance for doing this is hard for everyone, I think that was what the thread was about to begin with. Anna |
Quote:
|
Okay, let me see if I can clear a few things up. First, my chapter would never "pre-judge" someone. If a girl comes through recruitment, formal or otherwise, and we choose not to extend her a bid, THERE IS A VERY GOOD REASON WHY!!! It's not, "Oh, I didn't like her in high school b/c she stole my best friends boyfriend" or "I didn't like her shoes", its "She says she is more interested in XYZ" or "her GPA is a 2.3 and our requirement to stay off probation is a 2.5".
So here's a little scenario for you...Suzie Q decides to go through Spring Rush. She is invited to one of our social events...we vote. (different process than formal, which is why I can talk about it). If her GPA is not high enough, if she had NO community service in HS or did nothing (ie...2.5 GPA but no activities to speak of), she doesn't get a bid. If we don't know if she really wants to be a member we generally meet with her in a smaller enviornment (ie...4 or 5 of us go out to dinner with her). If we decide not to extend her a bid, more often than not, we'll tell her why. We are not being "two-faced" and its not all sunshine and roses. However, if I haul off and tell her that I don't like the way she dresses or that she acted like a henious b!tch, she'll probably then spread nasty rumors about my chapter and WE will suffer in the end. Guess what...hate to break it to you but that's what happens. Maybe it is different for other organizations/fraternites but we've had this same type of situation happen, unfortunatly. Plus I'm not so sure I could live with myself if I hurt someone's feelings like that. Blaire |
All times are GMT -4. The time now is 11:07 AM. |
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2025, vBulletin Solutions Inc.