You ain't kidding!

My 90 MIL is a member of a GLO. She can not use a computer and wants to call the "microwave man" if the clock gets turned off on her microwave so the computer is NEVER going to happen.

If she wants to write a rec or fill out a legacy form, she tells me what to say and I submit it for her.

It is my understanding, at least for us, that the references, online or not, are only seen by the "backroom" girls. They are considered confidential.

Bwahahahaha! :)

Of interesting note, just before posing this question on GC, I had reached out to my GLO's chapter at Bama to see if they would accept the online recs, and I received a response last night. Yes, they accept both ...and she emphasized that they are weighted equally. Of course, that is just my sorority, but I just wanted to share!

To clarify, it makes it easier to a) see if a PNM has a rec, b) provide information in a streamlined manner, c) ensure legacy status is tracked correctly.

As far as anything else, that would veer into membership selection for individual groups so I'd say it's important to stay up-to-date with your organization's policies. (I know in my organization, if you haven't worked directly with a collegiate chapter in the past 4 years, you likely are not up to speed!)

Thanks for slapping me upside the head! But I still don't see that the general membership would need to see a "no" rec...as someone may have put the actual reason on it and that could lead to unintended consequences at the ZZZ fraternity party....get my drift???

Exactly!

I think at SEC schools and others where chapters receive a high quantity of recs, it's likely (and reasonable to assume) that most members of a chapter will never see recommendations, particularly if an alumna follows the process set forth by her organization for submitting them.

But at smaller schools, especially those that don't regularly receive a high volume of recs, it does happen - especially when alumnae don't follow the exact process outlined by their organization for submitting them.

I personally would never put something in a rec that I wouldn't be comfortable with the PNM or her mother or any member of that chapter knowing I wrote... but that's just me. I'd rather decline to write a rec.

I think at SEC schools and others where chapters receive a high quantity of recs, it's likely (and reasonable to assume) that most members of a chapter will never see recommendations, particularly if an alumna follows the process set forth by her organization for submitting them.

But at smaller schools, especially those that don't regularly receive a high volume of recs, it does happen - especially when alumnae don't follow the exact process outlined by their organization for submitting them.

I personally would never put something in a rec that I wouldn't be comfortable with the PNM or her mother or any member of that chapter knowing I wrote... but that's just me. I'd rather decline to write a rec.

Declining to write a rec is fine, but the RFM PNM might find another alumna to write the rec for her, and she might end up in your sorority.

For online only rec sororities in a no rec situation, the writer might contact that chapter's recruitment advisor or the regional/national officer over that chapter and seek advice on how best to handle that particular situation.

^^^^^^That up there!!

There's where you are wrong, wrong, WRONG.
If you don't tell them not to pledge her, who will? You'd better get used to seeing her running around town with YOUR LETTERS spread over her chest. Do you want that?
I agree with not writing anything down. You never know who might see the form.
We have a place to check "I do not recommend this PNM." So check it and send it.
Or don't sign the form. Print your name and phone number....but don't sign it. Then put a Post-It note on the front that says CALL ME FIRST. Or something to point out there is a warning.

Don't just assume that no rec means they won't pledge the girl.

Really, the "no" recs are more important than the "yes" ones!

Yes, Yes and Yes again!!!! That is why I DO NOT RECOMMEND is on the form!!!

I agree. I have done this a few times when I am in awkward rec situations, and have found it the best way to go. I think it depends on the school and the situation, but I think contacting the chapter is probably best. Most of the PNMs who have asked me for recs have asked for them at schools where you don't need them (given our location), and there has usually been something "interesting" about each of them, so I've contacted the advisor to see how they want me to handle it. A few of them have turned out to be girls who rushed the year before and got cut, or girls they already knew about for some reason.