another thought
 

"you don't NEED sex! "

Who said this topic was about need?

You don't need a Cadillac truck either... but you might want one !!

This is about what each individual wants. I don't pay anyones bills on hear, so I won't be telling anybody how to live their live..

This is the key to happiness:

List the things you like and want to do...

Don't lie to yourself...

Don't list anything that others would like for you to do (if it's not in line with what you want to do)

And do those things... and you'll be happy

(2) Nobody has all the answers.. we all live, love and learn from our past experiences.. There's an old, crude saying.. YOU CAN'T TURN A HOE INTO A HOUSEWIFE (of course, you can if you want too.. but it's the meaning behind it)..

Why try to date a muslem if you're a Jewish person...?
Why date a steak lover if you're a vegatarian...?
Why try to have a platonic relationship with someone who doesn't wan't one when you could have one with someone who does?

If the two of us decide that we want to be in a relationship, that means that we are both willing to accept one another for whatever! I personally would accept my girl's decision to remain celibate. This is showing her that I respect her, want to be with her, and truly care about her feelings/beliefs. The problem with sex nowadays is that people take it for granted. Patience is a virtue. If all of that was too complicated for you, think about this old addage that is applicable to everything in life:

"Every good thing is worth waiting for".

Peace:cool:

Well Said http://www.plaudersmilies.de/happy/xyxthumbs.gif

[QUOTE]Originally posted by neicy81

Quote:

Originally posted by Swamp Thang "I feel that if you love someone you would be willing to wait for them" That statement is as unfair as the vica-versa of the statement that Men have used for years (which is) I feel that if you LOVE ME, you would be willing to HAVE SEX for them... That statement is selfish at best. If you do love her, you WILL wait. If not, then why did you pursue a relationship with her in the first place?You can't tell me that a person should stifle her beliefs to satisfy your horniness. That doens't make sense at all.What about religious beliefs?She should love God more than you?*shaking head at you*

I agree that sex should not be the primary, utmost defining factor in a relationship, and that people do not "NEED" sex. It is possible to remain celibate--I have. But, you have to respect the ideals of others. If a man says he needs sex for the relationship to be fulfilling, then that's his opinion and instead of being upset or angry the woman should not try to change him--she should move on. Neicy, what you just said, turned around, could be used to justify a man's asking for sex. The way you are putting it trivializes some people's views about sex. Not everyone views sex as an act to satisfy their impulses. Many people view sex as an intergral part of a romantic relationship, an act that brings both people in the relationship closer together--and thus not a trivial act bestowed upon any old person walking down the street.

I commend you on being able to respect the woman's decision. There aren't enough men in the world like you. However, not every person feels the way you do about sex. Therefore, it is foolish to presume that one can change a person or persuade them to agree with how they feel about sex. Your argument about sex, can be used to support the opposing side of the issue. Let's say, for example, that you wanted to have sex and your girlfriend did not. You could say that your girlfriend is not respecting your feelings/beliefs.

It's a matter of what Swamp Thing has stated: Look for a person that is compatible with your beliefs and practices, and respect one another's decisions. I would respect a man if they did as Swanp Thing would and straight out said that we should just be friends and respected my decison, rather than attempting to force me to change. As you said, "every good thing is worth waiting for", so if a person's partner wnats to have sex and you don't, for example, then that person needs to "wait on God" to bring them the person who is right for them.

Re: don't try to fit a sQUarE block into a round hole
 

So a person should put you before God
???ROTFLMAO!

Re: another thought
 

Maybe it's just me, somebody tell me if it is, but is sex really that important?

Yes, sex is an important part of a relationship, but it's not the only part. The vibe that I'm getting from Swamp Thing and Dexter, (not putting words in your mouths), is that sex is a deal breaker. I just can't understand that. I know it feels good, but to me it's not that important.

If I found a man that I really like and really want to be with and he said that he wanted to wait, I would have no problem with that. And, it's not just because I am celibate right now. If I see a future with you and I feel like you might be the one, then to throw that all away over sex seems petty to me. If I want to be with you, that means I am looking to develop a meaningful relationship with you. I want to share in your joys, and help you through your hardships. I want to know you on every level. And that includes on a sexual level. But, sex takes a backseat to me.

I have to ask the men who say that they wouldn't want to wait a question. What would you do if you could only have a relationship with one of two women. The first has absolutely everything that you want, need, and desire in a woman, but she is not willing or ready to have sex with you. The second has absolutely no redeeming qualities but she will give you all of the baby-less, disease-less sex that you want. Neiher of these women will ever change. You have to spend the rest of your life with whomever you choose. Which one is it going to be?

Classy Lady
 

The question you pose is kinda unfair because you can have your cake and eat it too.. You don't have to settle for less to have what you want in a relationship.

There is no right answer for everybody on this subject. Only what is the right answer for you and your walk through life .

We are all posting to add our incite to the 'could you wait' question. We've had many different and good views. Let's continue to be constructive and respect each others viewpoints and be callus to one whose views might not be the same as yours.

my bad.. my responce
 

"The first has absolutely everything that you want, need, and desire in a woman, but she is not willing or ready to have sex with you. "

If she does not want a monogomous, sexually active relationship that leads toward marriage, then she doesn't have everything I desire and need in a Woman .

I have many female platonic friends... and we all like people who we have fun with / vibe with / etc. Every male - female relationship doesn't have to lead toward matrimony. As stated in an earlier post, I'd continue the platonic friendship (y'all know there is also a thing called the 'special friendship' ie: booty buddy {keeping it real LOL}) and look elsewhere for the lady who fits the criteria I want for a relationship.

(note: All these things are open to change... If a time comes when my desires are to become celebate.. or that my platonic friend feels that she wants to become intimate, then we could always reevaluate our feelings for each other and if we want to try kickin' it as an item.. ):)

correction..
 

that should be "not be callus" in the post two post above.. *sorry*

Re: my bad.. my responce
 

That's all I wanted to hear from you Swamp Thing!! :)

one last reply to classy lady and then I'm deadin' my input in this convo
 

Sex isn't the "deal breaker" for me... per se... It's just something that I'm looking for..

There are other baseline things that I look for.. Having a child could be considered a "deal breaker" if you go by what I want in a relationship.

Once again y'all... different traits/things have higher/lesser priority to different people. One Man/Woman's bologna is another Man/Woman's steak. None of these answers are total right or wrongs.. just things that might be right or wrong for YOU..

Swamp Thing,

I completely respect your opinion, as it is not uncommon among your gender. I don't feel that I was being callus. I gave an extreme situation to prove a point. I honestly don't think a man with at least half a brain, (I'm sure that you have a full one ;) ), would pass up the woman of his dreams over sex. And, I also don't think that you would deal with someone that you absolutely can't stand just because she was givin' it up.

I'm just trying to say that it can be done and it can probably be done by you. I don't think that having a non-sexual relationship is settling for less. To me, it's more like waiting for the best.

You took the words right out of my mouth, Classy Lady!