But she is at a school with a chapter, and that dovetails into something else I was going to ask. I remember a thread on here where a woman transferred to a school with her group (I don't remember who) and elected not to affiliate, and was told by her hq that she either had to affiliate or turn in her membership. What happens with a policy like that in a case like the OP's?

I guess add this to AI policies as regards to all 26 being all over the map.

Well, she didn't elect to not affiliate. The chapter chose not to accept her. That's the difference here. In my mind, the chapter kick her over to alum status. I could see if she didn't try but she did.

And way back in the day, CPH could have rules against affiliation if the chapter was at or above total. What did that do with them back then in that case?

If there's a sorority out there that doesn't allow a vote by the chapter (i.e. a transfer student is automatically allowed to affiliate), then you'd be comparing apples and oranges.

I'd hope there's no GLO out there that allows the chapter to decide and if they turn you down, you have to turn in your letters.

^^well, I'd hope not too, but at this point who knows.

And yes Titchou, I agree - she should become an alum upon the chapter's negative vote.

I just wanted to thank everyone for their comments. This has been a really hard time that tried my faith in greek life and it is wonderful to see that there are still so many wonderful and helpful people out there in this organization.

krose28,
I can only imagine how difficult it is. My best suggestion is to reach out to your HQ and see what options they have available for you. Once they are able to official move you to alumna status, you may be able to join an alumnae chapter despite being currently enrolled in college. Don't lose faith you have many sisters (both your group and Panhellenic) that support you.

Also, I wonder if it's worth trying to become friends with a few of the sisters without the official vote. There are a lot of reasons you could have been denied affiliation that have nothing to do with you personally (including raw numbers and internal politics). If you can find a way to be above it and try to develop some friendships, maybe a vote can happen again at some point in the future.

But that can only happen if you are not bitter or angry, so regardless of how easy or valid those feelings are right now, try to not be. Even if what you want to do is hurl bricks through their windows :)

I completely understand how the OP feels because the EXACT same thing happened to me. I was forced to go alum while I was still in college. It was incredibly tough walking around campus and seeing my sisters and not being able to actually be involved with the chapter. It was even harder walking around wearing letters and being completely ignored by my sisters.

I lost ALL faith in ADPi for a long time. It took a lot of time for me to realize how much I love ADPi. It took even longer for me to get over my "hate" for the chapter that didn't affiliate me. But I did, it just takes time. As the saying goes "time heals all wounds".

Yes, I missed out on a collegiate experience and that was tough. But I still have my alumnae experience that I continue to learn and grow everyday.

Krose28-I sent you a private message.