Thank you for the great advice. She does belong to a co-ed prelaw fraternity that took up a ton of time last year and she has a position in it this year that will take up even more. She is considering rushing a small non-Greek community service sorority in a few weeks. I feel that visiting the frat house rush week, even to visit with platonic friends was a mistake. However, after a tough Sunday, she is enjoying her classes, keeping busy and 'moving on.'

I know that some campuses have (or used to have) rules that "discouraged" PNMs from doing anything other than rush or school related activities during recruitment. PNMs went to dinners with their rush counselors and then the girls hung out in their dorms, rehashed their parties among themselves, watched TV, and got ready for the next day. PNMs were either told they could not go to fraternity parties during rush week, it was greatly discouraged, or it was suggested that it could be detrimental to their success in making it thru to bid day. Maybe your daughter's campus shares similar information with the PNMs, and the sororities looks at those girls who decide to go ahead and ignore the suggestion as potential risk management problems.

Ugh, this is horrible. I understand not going to fraternity parties, but other social stuff/clubs/whatever? If you make recruitment someone's ENTIRE LIFE, no wonder women can't ignore tent talk and stuff.

I think a big part of the problem of formal rush happening before school starts (although in general I think it's probably better) is the huge bubbles these girls live in and everything becomes exponentially more important than it would be otherwise. If they can see sorority life as a part of an entire college life experience and not the oh my god it's the only thing that matters for the rest of my life, then being cut by this or that chapter wouldn't seem as devastating.

The campuses I referred to hold rush before classes start, so except for rush and fraternity parties not much else was going on.

Judgemental, boyfriend issues, srat girl issues, whatever it was, it's devastating to be released during Recruitment. Sometimes, worse for the mom than the PNM. I'm sorry that it ended that way for both of you. My best advice is rally the friends she has and move on to another campus organization where she will be happy. Best of luck to you.