Originally Posted by IndianaSigKap (Post 2287992)

On my campus, girls often suicided for religious preferences. We only attended two chapters for preference. If a Jewish girl had only SDT or AEPhi and another chapter for preference, sometimes she might choose to ISP the traditionally Jewish chapter. A girl in my dorm had a name that might be seen as a traditionally Jewish last name, she was very Catholic. At preference she had AGD and SDT, she ISPed AGD. Luckily, it worked out. So not every girl who ISPs does so for "superficial" reasons based on social standing.

Originally Posted by maconmagnolia (Post 2287932)

I usually keep my mouth shut, but I find it rather annoying that you feel the need to comment on almost every post about a woman not wanting to be a member of a certain sorority for whatever reason and attack her for thinking she was "too good" for that sorority.

Not thinking that you would fit in or not wanting to be a part of a certain chapter doesn't mean that you believe you are "too good" for that sorority. Sure, there are women who think they are "too good" for lower-tier groups but that is not always the case. For what it's worth, when I went through recruitment there were a couple of chapters that were considered very "top tier" that I personally didn't feel like I would fit in with at all - so it's not always about feeling "too good" for a chapter.

Every woman's situation is different and every woman going through recruitment needs to do what is right for her. In my opinion, it's better to suicide if you only want a bid from one chapter and would decline a bid from another chapter because then you're not taking a spot away from a girl who would love to be in the chapter you're not interested in. Quit being so harsh - you don't know anyone's particular situation and this poster didn't provide us with enough information to start drawing conclusions.

OP, actions have consequences. I'm sorry that recruitment didn't work out the way you wanted it to, and I wish you the best of luck in your college career.

Originally Posted by als463 (Post 2288191)

I don't buy it. The OP's university had a quota of something like 130 new members. These are huge chapters. I am aware of what chapters struggle and what chapters don't. In chapters of 300+ women, using the excuse that you "didn't feel comfortable" is nothing more than lip-service. If you can't find someone in a chapter of 300+ women to befriend, maybe the problem isn't with those other chapters you didn't connect with. Each of these organizations have great women in them and to suicide at a major SEC school where girls can easily get cut completely, means you are willing to take a big risk. She should have really thought of the outcomes. Would you rather be a member of XYZ or not be Greek at all? We aren't talking about a school where being Greek is no big deal. We are talking about a major SEC school where Greek life is huge. She rolled the dice and she lost. I feel no sympathy.

Originally Posted by als463 (Post 2288191)

I don't buy it. The OP's university had a quota of something like 130 new members. These are huge chapters. I am aware of what chapters struggle and what chapters don't. In chapters of 300+ women, using the excuse that you "didn't feel comfortable" is nothing more than lip-service. If you can't find someone in a chapter of 300+ women to befriend, maybe the problem isn't with those other chapters you didn't connect with. Each of these organizations have great women in them and to suicide at a major SEC school where girls can easily get cut completely, means you are willing to take a big risk. She should have really thought of the outcomes. Would you rather be a member of XYZ or not be Greek at all? We aren't talking about a school where being Greek is no big deal. We are talking about a major SEC school where Greek life is huge. She rolled the dice and she lost. I feel no sympathy.

Originally Posted by maconmagnolia (Post 2288271)

You don't need to feel sympathy for her, but you don't need to be a judgmental ass towards every single girl who comes on here saying she doesn't feel comfortable in a certain chapter. You do not know her reasoning and you have no place to make judgment.

Originally Posted by USCmtg (Post 2287813)

I suicided because I absolutely did not want to be in the other sorority. The other one made me think that I was definitley getting a bid by what they said. However I got dropped today. I know that I can't get a snap bid because I suicided but what's the likelihood of me getting a bid during COB?

Originally Posted by PinkSkyAtNight (Post 2288312)

ALS - At no point in the poster's original thread does she ask for your sympathy, pity or understanding. She states facts and asks a question. Yet, for some you feel compelled to shame her about her decision.

Originally Posted by als463 (Post 2288319)

You may as well just get used to it. That is how I feel and I won't apologize for my feelings. Every single time a woman comes on here to say she is angry she got the bottom chapter, or she suicided, or dropped out because the remaining choices were less than desirable then I'm going to say the same thing. I don't care if she asks for my pity or my understanding. If anything, I feel bad for the chapters that may struggle with membership because some girls let tent talk get to them. I'm working for a campus where some of the most amazing women I know are from some of those less than desirable chapters. In fact, one of the women from one of those chapters I speak of is someone I would be more than proud to call my sister. I don't feel sorry for these women who make the choices that they do regarding my NPC sisters and I refuse to pretend to.

Originally Posted by PinkSkyAtNight (Post 2288322)

Yeah, that's great. But the original poster didn't insult or put down or even insinuate that the other chapter she didn't list wasn't "top tier". She didn't express anger or sadness. She did nothing of the sort, but you assumed that she was was doing that by not listing them. She just asked a question and you pounced and made all kinds of assumptions.

Trust me, the chapters that don't have perfect return rates don't need advisers or university employees to defend their honor if it means putting down a woman who still might want to participate in COB. It makes you and them look defensive and adds to the stigma.

It is kind of like when someone breaks up with you and does it without insulting you, if you get mad, angry, defensive, stalkerish.... rarely does it make that person want to reconsider the relationship. Rather, it only confirms the suspicions they had all along that it wasn't a good match.