GreekChat.com Forums - A Retro Recruitment

Thanks so much for all your kind words. It has really helped me to read all the stories of fine young women who also felt great disappointment and sadness at times during their recruitment. As much as I loved my new sisterhood and the great pride I felt to part of such a stellar organization, I still sometimes felt regret and sadness about not having more of a chance with my really good friends at Jaime Lannister and Daenerys.

It was very helpful to me to read here at Greek Chat about others who didn't end up in the house they thought they wanted, only to find out they ended up where they were supposed to be. I firmly believe that Arya was the absolute best place for me. I made such incredible memories and friends there! I just couldn't see it clearly during the chaos of recruitment.

Reading here has made me see that MOST recruitments have their ups and downs, moments of elation and disappointment - and that in perspective, I actually had a pretty good recruitment. It didn't feel like it at the time! Reading all the threads in all forums here also have made me realize that I did end up with the best of all possible worlds, in a sisterhood where they liked me for who I really am. It took some years to finally really understand that and appreciate it.

Some other tidbits I forgot to incorporate in the original story:

--My rush crush at Arya, 'Debbie' ended up being my Big Sis and she made my freshman year absolutely delightful. :) She was, and is, a total scream and is always true to herself, which was a great example for a wishy-washy 18-year old to be able to emulate.

--I stayed friends with 'Gwen' at Jaime Lannister. She felt horrible that I got cut, and told me that she and other friends from high school really fought for me. It came down to my average grades, lack of a rec, and the fact that the house had too many girls from my high school at each grade level and they were trying to get more out of state girls in my rush year! so - future PNMS - GET YOUR RECS, be prepared for cuts if your grades are iffy, and also realize that some things affecting the decisions are beyond your control. The advantage I thought I had at Jaime Lannister by having so many high school friends there actually worked against me at decision time.

--I lost touch with 'Stephanie' at Daenerys. I saw her out on campus and she gave me a very slight wave and fake smile but didn't attempt to talk to me. I was a little hurt by this and by her broken promise to help me get recs, especially since she's the one who talked me into rushing in the first place! But this was a good wake-up call that my feeling of discomfort at Daenerys was instinct, telling me that there were other houses that were a better fit. In the end, we reconnected thanks to Facebook and stay in touch sporadically now. In hindsight, I can see that forcing myself to fit into Daenerys just for the sake of an old friendship with one girl would have been a mistake, and I'm grateful now that decision was taken out of my hands. I did end up having several good friends in Daenerys as an upperclassman, so nothing against the girls in that house at all. Just wasn't a fit for me.

--My turquoise dress at 4 party day truly was horrific - I laughed about it for years afterward with 'Debbie', 'Suzanne' and her two big sisters. I've always felt grateful that the girls in Arya and Catelyn were able to look beyond that surface appearance to invite me back for Pref.

--'Shelley' did end up going Ygritte and we are still friends in close touch to this day.

--Nothing at all changed in my friendships with 'Suzanne', her sisters and all my friends who went Catelyn. We still went out together in large groups and laughed just as much as we ever had. I stayed tight with the Catelyns all through college, and now had new Arya friends to introduce into the posse. Best of all worlds!

--One of my closest friends my junior year was a Cersei and turns out that 'Armpit Girl' was somewhat of a 'dim bulb' and quite odd indeed. She ended up transferring schools the next year. I hope it wasn't our shared sweaty armpit experience that drove her away, but anyone with the sense God gave a June bug would have quickly removed their hand. The experience scarred me enough that maybe it made her flee the scene. Heh!

At the time, the disappointment during my rush seemed crushing, like the end of the world. Since most of the girls on my floor seemed to get the houses they originally wanted, I felt like it was my 'secret' shame that I did not. To any prospective new members going through recruitment, please remember this:

"Comparison is the thief of joy."

Do NOT compare your recruitment to others' going through it with you. Be yourself and listen to your instincts. All you can do is your best, and the only person you can be is yourself.