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-   -   Is Greek right for my dd? (https://greekchat.com/gcforums/showthread.php?t=131952)

ree-Xi 01-25-2013 02:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JLCo (Post 2199696)
"This struck me as odd. Often we are asked to do things that don't seem "logical" in the course of life as part of learning and growing, and this isn't relegated to sorority membership. Are you talking about hazing? Or doing "silly" things like ice-breakers or hanging out with sisters to get to know them better?"

To answer your question- yes she can be viewed as somewhat odd compared to other teens her age. She is silly, creative and has a very liberal attitude. We live in a very conservative republican suburb. If you watch her favorite commedy video I think you will understand how creatively different she can be compared to her surroundins @ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gwUX4cSwrRk.

Not sure she would be patient with hazing- although she can be tolerant and loyal to her friends even when she does not agree with them. However, part of the intensity factory is not wanting to waste time doing silly things. I get the importance of doing silly things from time to time but I am not sure she gets it.

As far as social life is concerned- she hangs out with the dancers at her studio and occasionally with the kids at school. She does not seem interested in going to parties much. She states the parties are boring compared to dance. I guess only those involved in competitive dance would understand that these dancers have tons of fun at their studio.

Can you please explain what you mean by "silly things"?

summer_gphib 01-25-2013 02:10 PM

I just wonder if she's unique enough to wear sequined stockings?

GratefulGramma 01-25-2013 02:11 PM

sequined. Pink.

adpiucf 01-25-2013 02:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JLCo (Post 2199696)
"This struck me as odd. Often we are asked to do things that don't seem "logical" in the course of life as part of learning and growing, and this isn't relegated to sorority membership. Are you talking about hazing? Or doing "silly" things like ice-breakers or hanging out with sisters to get to know them better?"

To answer your question- yes she can be viewed as somewhat odd compared to other teens her age. She is silly, creative and has a very liberal attitude. We live in a very conservative republican suburb. If you watch her favorite commedy video I think you will understand how creatively different she can be compared to her surroundins @ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gwUX4cSwrRk.

Not sure she would be patient with hazing- although she can be tolerant and loyal to her friends even when she does not agree with them. However, part of the intensity factory is not wanting to waste time doing silly things. I get the importance of doing silly things from time to time but I am not sure she gets it.

As far as social life is concerned- she hangs out with the dancers at her studio and occasionally with the kids at school. She does not seem interested in going to parties much. She states the parties are boring compared to dance. I guess only those involved in competitive dance would understand that these dancers have tons of fun at their studio.

Are you trying to tell us your kid has Aspbergers or something and wondering if she can handle Greek Life? Honestly, she just sounds like a normal smart kid. I wasn't into parties in high school either, was in AP/gifted classes, and had other extracurriculars that I preferred to spend time with like yearbook and drama club. I think it makes sense that you have an intelligent kid who likes to spend time with her dance friends-- the girls she spends the most time with.

Sororities do not allow hazing. The isolated incidents of hazing that are reported come as a result of sorority members deciding to take things into their own hands. If any member feels at any time she is being hazed, she should immediately remove herself from the situation and report it. Sororities nationally have a zero tolerance policy for hazing.

Old_Row 01-25-2013 02:14 PM

So it sounds like what you are really saying is your daughter is socially awkward, you blame that on her high IQ, and aren't sure if she will get a bid because if it.

thetalady 01-25-2013 02:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JLCo (Post 2199680)
- this is a BBS and casual language is the general rule here. Look-up a definition of “uniqueness” in the online Webster dictionary and you will find it. New words are constantly used and coined in casual conversation and in informal written prose. I suggest you look-up etiquette for posting on BBS because the general rule of thumb is not to correct casual language use. Last time I checked this forum is not for the submission of a formal paper.

JUST TOO FUNNY! She missed the point ENTIRELY amidst the epic flounce! :D

JLCo 01-25-2013 02:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ree-Xi (Post 2199700)
Can you please explain what you mean by "silly things"?

As it relates here I would be referring to hazing- or what I have heard about hazing. Please keep in mind that I had no interest in joining a sorority- so please be patient with my ignorance on the matter. I am primarily basing my assumptions on what I have heard or read on the media.
She gave me a specific example of what she considers a waste of time yesterday. She is very impatient that the student resource time designed to help students get their homework done has been turned into counseling sessions by their school guidance counselors. She was told that she needed to draw a poster during this time after they had a presentation. She told me she did not complete the poster. Instead she pulled out her homework and completed her homework.

pinapple 01-25-2013 02:18 PM

OP. I think what people are trying to say is we get that you want us to understand that your daughter is gifted. Many Honors Programs at State U attract and recruit these kids. Your daughter's stated IQ at 148 places her in the "gifted" category and even if she were to obtain a few more points and be considered a genius, she would be 2% of the population instead of around 6-8%. So even if she were in the top 2% that means at the average State U there are 100 other "genius" people just like her and 300-400 gifted kids. That is the problem in college. You go from wicked smart in HS to above average in college. But I assure you, someone in that school will be smarter, a better dancer and have a better personality. So approaching recruitment from the humble side of life is important. I know many people in our state's top honors program and I have NO idea what their IQs are (once you start college, HS GPA, test scores, etc are NEVER discussed) but they are brilliant and each have unique talents that make them who they are. But what is even more awesome about them is they are humble and enjoy being friends a diverse group of people who learn from each other.

WCsweet<3 01-25-2013 02:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JLCo (Post 2199696)
I guess only those involved in competitive dance would understand that these dancers have tons of fun at their studio.

Hmmm, I was in a very competitive company in high school and often had my weekends devoted to rehearsals, shows, traveling etc. I definitely had close friendships with my dance friends and some are still my best friends. However, I still definitely had friends at high school that I hung out with, went to Prom, had dates, etc. I never was a big partier, but I still had friends at school

adpiucf 01-25-2013 02:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JLCo (Post 2199707)
As it relates here I would be referring to hazing- or what I have heard about hazing. Please keep in mind that I had no interest in joining a sorority- so please be patient with my ignorance on the matter. I am primarily basing my assumptions on what I have heard or read on the media.

She gave me a specific example of what she considers a waste of time yesterday. She is very impatient that the student resource time designed to help students get their homework done has been turned into counseling sessions by their school guidance counselors. She was told that she needed to draw a poster about bullying during this time after they had a presentation. She told me she did not compelte the poster. Instead she pulled out her homework and completed her homework.

FWIW, I think she's right and the guidance counselor is a moron. Unless the poster was for a grade, that counselor was interfering with time allocated for homework. I'd be more concerned if she was given an assignment for a grade and blew it off because she decided she simply didn't want to do it.

pinapple 01-25-2013 02:23 PM

I cross posted with four above me but just for reference if she thinks painting her sororities letters or making a welcome poster for new members would be "silly" and a waste of her time then Greek life is not for her. I don't know of any sororities who haze and I know of none that have bully prevention as her philanthropy so she is probably safe there.

adpiucf 01-25-2013 02:30 PM

Yes, I am procrastinating and overposting in this thread, but deal with it.

Pinapple, I don't agree. There's a big difference between volunteering to make signs for the new members and not doing it versus not being great at doodling bubble letters and not being drawn to volunteer for that activity. I love coloring and making signs. I have plenty of sisters who hate it and would regularly come to me to draw posters for them.

I don't think your ability or interest in drawing or making banners is determinative of your value or interest in being in a sorority. I think it is one of those things that makes us diverse. Everyone has her own talents, but the uniting factor is that we are a group of volunteers who are trained throughout their membership to be successful working together to be successful at running events, supporting our philanthropies, our academics, and one another.

I'd hate to think someone would exclude me because I can't sing/dance and therefore would not be of value in a Homecoming skit. We all have our own talents.

I think the biggest trait a sorority woman must have is the ability to work well with others. You needn't be exceptional at it, but you should be reasonably good at following directions and meeting expectations for the requirements. Anything else, like lettering, dancing, etc., is just icing. But if you volunteer for something or there is a membership attendance requirement, then you should meet it in good faith. I'm sure I grumbled a ton over some of the activities we did at sisterhood retreats because I thought they were silly, but I still did them because (1) it was not hazing, and (2) it was expected that we all participate.

ree-Xi 01-25-2013 02:35 PM

I'm going to answer your question, then, since you are so obsessed with proving to us how "gifted" your daughter is and how she is above anything that isn't "productive" in her eyes.

So, NO, Greek life isn't right for your daughter.

If she is too good to make a scrapbook or learn fun songs or have an ice cream sundae party at midnight during finals week - stuff that any typical sorority might do - then it's not for her. Then again, you might want to let HER decide instead of you spilling her personal information all over the place.

JLCo 01-25-2013 02:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pinapple (Post 2199708)
OP. I think what people are trying to say is we get that you want us to understand that your daughter is gifted. Many Honors Programs at State U attract and recruit these kids. Your daughter's stated IQ at 148 places her in the "gifted" category and even if she were to obtain a few more points and be considered a genius, she would be 2% of the population instead of around 6-8%. So even if she were in the top 2% that means at the average State U there are 100 other "genius" people just like her and 300-400 gifted kids. That is the problem in college. You go from wicked smart in HS to above average in college. But I assure you, someone in that school will be smarter, a better dancer and have a better personality. So approaching recruitment from the humble side of life is important. I know many people in our state's top honors program and I have NO idea what their IQs are (once you start college, HS GPA, test scores, etc are NEVER discussed) but they are brilliant and each have unique talents that make them who they are. But what is even more awesome about them is they are humble and enjoy being friends a diverse group of people who learn from each other.

OK. I see what you are saying. My daughter hangs out with the other "higher ability" kids at school. They are a fairly large group and have been in classes together since 1st grade. She really enjoys their company. She tells me she gets impatient with some of the kids that are at the other end of the spectrum. It seems that what you are saying is that the sororities have a high caliber of individuals. This seems even more likely today than during my time at college since everything is so much more competitive now.

I am not really concerned whether or not she gets a "bid". I did not belong to a sorority and was quite happy with my choice. However, if she wants to pursue this, I will support her decision. Right now our main concern is trying to narrow down the college choices- so this is a factor relevant to the decision.

JLCo 01-25-2013 02:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ree-Xi (Post 2199717)
I'm going to answer your question, then, since you are so obsessed with proving to us how "gifted" your daughter is and how she is above anything that isn't "productive" in her eyes.

So, NO, Greek life isn't right for your daughter.

If she is too good to make a scrapbook or learn fun songs or have an ice cream sundae party at midnight during finals week - stuff that any typical sorority might do - then it's not for her. Then again, you might want to let HER decide instead of you spilling her personal information all over the place.

Obviously you have no idea what competitive dancers and the dance team do. All the things you listed are stuff that is quite similar to what she does with her dance friends.


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