This. As a UK grad, I would say all the chapters at UK are good and have a strong sisterhood. Sounds like nervousmom's daughter is simply hearing the dreaded "tent talk".

So true.

Best of luck to all our newest members of the Big Blue Nation. That includes all you Moms and Dads.

Good luck to all of your daughters going through recruitment right now. I'm hoping for some Alpha Phi endings but any sorority at UK would be wonderful to be accepted to!

UKCATFAN, Two years ago a young lady from my home town was released from all but 2 houses at UK after open house. She stayed with it, and preffed at both, and pledged her favorite. It only takes 1! Many girls will only have 2 choices by preference anyway. Tell your daughter to hang in there regardless of the number.

That same year, a house with a normally high return rate missed quota by 2 and gave snap bids to 2 girls they had previously released. (This seldom happens, but can) A girl can only be considered for a quota addition or snap bid if she has maximized her options every round.

Hang in there mom, it's not over yet! Sending hugs to Lexington tonight.
catfan (btw I like your name!)

My DD just got finished with her two houses for the day. She still is not happy with either one of them. She said they are very nice girls, but she just doesn't feel like they are a good fit for her. We have told her not to join one just to say she's in a sorority... we want her to feel comfortable with the girls also. But it is her choice. This is so disappointing because all I have heard for the past year is how badly she wanted to get into this or that sorority and live in the house later. I am sad that she is starting out her college life with a very big disappointment. It's so hard to let your kids grow up!:(

Has she withdrawn, or does she plan to attend pref?

Can she articulate exactly why she doesn't feel like they are a good fit for her? Too wild? Too quiet? Too religious? Too diverse? Too cookie cutter? Is the idea of not being a good fit just a way of saying that she saw herself somewhere else? You said she wanted to get into "this or that sorority" for the past year. Obviously that isn't going to happen.

I hope she will at least finish the process. Many women have been surprised to discover their feelings changed over the rest of the parties, especially preference. After investing all this time and energy, it seems like she should at least see it through and then make a decision.

Your daughter may change her mind after preference. I know young ladies in almost all the houses, and they would all make wonderful sisters, and provide a great sorority experience at UK.
Like your husband, I am still involved with UK as an alum, and stay in touch with my sisters after 30+ years. I only preffed 2 houses, and was released the round before by my legacy house. Many of us have been where your daughter is now.

I just read this whole thread and already feel so invested! I hope it works out for all three daughters and I can't wait to hear how tomorrow goes!

UKCATFAN, please encourage your daughter to finish recruitment. One of my best friends goes to school on the west coast, preffed three houses and got her last choice. She almost didn't accept her bid, but she did and now she is the most gung-ho lover of her sorority of anyone I've ever met! (myself included, and let me tell you, I am obsessed with mine). So gently encourage her as much as you can. I'm sure where she ends up will be an incredible home for her for the next 4 years!

I am so sorry your daughter is having such a bad experience. It is so hard to let them go off to college without us. I know it must be even harder that you cannot be there to help her through this. I would encourage her to see it through. She maybe just needs a little time to realize the house she dreamed about is not the one for her and when she lets that go, then she might realize one of these other houses is what she needed all along. I pray that all goes well and that she has a very happy ending.

BTW, I still have not heard from my daughter today. Hopefully she will call soon.

We are definitely encouraging her to finish the process. She said she didn't even want to go tomorrow to pref. I told her to go and finish it and then decide for sure. She is going to talk to her Gamma Chi tonight and hopefully she will encourage her to do the same.

She can't pinpoint why she doesn't like the 2 houses, she said it just doesn't feel right... I'm sure a little bit of it is that she sees herself somewhere else and had high hopes for certain houses. I said she wanted to get into "this or that" house because I don't want to name drop or make it sound like we don't like certain ones because that is not the case. I don't know much about any of them, having not gone through the process. Does anyone know if there is a spring recruitment or is there no more until fall 2013? Do sophomores have a better chance?

Thanks Nervousmom! I, too, am anxious to hear about your daughter's experience. I hope she had a great day!

I doubt that any sororities will have spring rush, only those that don't take quota this week or through COB this fall. I would anticipate 1-2 houses at the most.
Rushing as a Sophomore would be more difficult, especially at the houses that have traditionally strong recruitments. I don't think UK has an upperclassman quota.

UKCATFAN, I hope your daughter decides to go to pref tomorrow. Hopefully a good night's sleep with also help her a little. I know my dd was dropped by 1 one house first cut and 3 houses 2nd cuts all of which she LOVED. She was upset this morning because she lost 3 of her favorites. But when I spoke to her briefly later today she was thrilled with 4 of them. I kept telling her that each day is a new day and to keep an open mind. So far that has worked and I hope it works for your daughter too.

nervousmom - hope you hear from your dd soon. Mine was suppose to all after their surviving UK meeting but nothing yet :/

My DD said she met several sophomores during recruitment on the first day. She doesn't know what happened after that, however.

While this has probably been mentioned:

A PNM only meets a small portion of women during recruitment. It is very hard to know a house of 173 (which is campus total at UK) after meeting maybe 10-15 women. If she goes through with Pref and receives a bid, have her try the new member period. It isn't an obligation to join, just a trial period where she will get to know the whole house as well as her pledge class. Pledge classes can change the entire feel of a house and she may really like them. I know it may seem daunting, but honestly, some chapters just do not recruit well.