May 25, 2002

When I get married, I hope to hyphen my name. It shouldn't be too painful, since my last name is only 3 letters anyway. :) Or, I might just take my husband's last name. I still have a lot of time to decide, though! lol

My kids will take my husband's last name.

Back when I was planning my wedding, I did a lot of lurking on alt.wedding and similar newsgroups. The topic of how to address someone on an invitation came up a lot.

Generally, the word "and" indicates marriage.

If she's a doctor and he isn't, it's:
Dr. Mary Smith and Mr. John Smith
(If a long last name is involved, you can get away with Dr. Mary and Mr. John Smithxxxxxxxxxxx)

If he's a doctor and she isn't, you can use:
Dr. and Mrs. John Smith (traditional)
Dr. and Mrs. John and Mary Smith (less traditional)

If both are doctors:
Drs. Mary and John Smith (as in Wine&Blue's example)

If she kept her maiden name:
Ms. Mary Jones and Mr. John Smith

If she changed her name:
Mr. and Mrs. John Smith (traditional)
Mr. and Mrs. John and Mary Smith (less traditional - and what I prefer :) )

If the couple is living together but not married (whether engaged or not):
Ms. (or Miss) Mary Jones
Mr. John Smith
(separate lines, no "and")

If a couple is engaged but not living together, each member of the couple would get a separate invitation.

Traditionally, a widow is Mrs. John Smith, and a divorced woman is Mrs. Mary Smith. So you only get your first name back if you get divorced. :rolleyes:

And just to throw something else into the name mix, both my parents are doctors, but my mother earned her degrees and did her internship and residency before she got married - and she and my dad worked at the same hospital. So, professionally, she went by her maiden name, but she used my dad's name on all her legal documents. I remember that she had to double-endorse her paychecks b/c they were made out to her in her maiden name and her bank account was in her married name. Socially, though, she's Mrs. Hisname.

Super info!
 

aephi alum: This is great info! Thanks for posting it. :)

Yes, Thank You for the info. now if I can only find a husband this would come in handy (not that I am looking:D )

Lil Snakey K

A very smart woman I know started a web page that takes care of all of the pain in the butt aspects of name changes. I am not sure if she just does CA or if she does other states but you should check out her page at www.enamechange.com. A couple of my friends have used her services and found them very helpful.

My second year of law school my journal published an article on the laws surrounding name changes. It was so interesting to learn about other country's traditions as compared to the US traditions. It was also interesting to learn how backward so many state laws were until quite recently. If you are dorky, like me, or a lawyer, you can check out the article at 7 So. Cal. Rev. Law & Women's Stud. 1 (1997). The article is called The Beginning of Wisdom Is to Call Things by Their Right Names by Kif Augustine-Adams.