^ No shit, genius.

I keep thinking by the title that the OP wants to find ways to haze her boyfriend. And then I confuse it with the lavaliere one and think that the OP thinks she's being hazed by not getting a lavaliere.

OP, if you haze your boyfriend, he will NOT give you a lavaliere, even if his old girlfriend did get one.

"The definition of hazing can vary by organization."

:p

Boomchickawowow!!!

If you truly believe that this relationship is going somewhere (and you intend to stick this out), I would recommend that you seek counseling...or at least urge HIM to seek counseling. I would begin telling him that you care for him enough to recognize when something is 'not right' with him and that it pains you to see him obviously hurting over something you cannot help him with. Express to him that since you've known him for a long time, you see that something about him has recently changed and it scares you. Make sure to let him know that you'll be there with him/for him through this process.

Reading books can help you gain perspective, but it is NOT going to change your man. If you believe that he is headed down a road that is destructive - whether physical, psychological, emotional, or otherwise, I would urge you to DO something about it.

As an aside... You might want to do (or have him do) a little research into the hazing laws of your state (and the codes of conduct at your particular school). The things you're insinuating are - in many states, not all - criminal offenses (some felony), that carry punishments, including fines, arrest records, and potentially jail time. It is NOT something to be taken lightly.

I don't understand how you even feel like you should even do anything about this. Either the guy is worth continuing the relationship with or you need to move on to greener pastures.

I feel as though this is bad advice.

Ummm no.

In re-reading the OP, I'm thinking that she wasn't asking what to do about the guy as much as she wants to understand the psychology of hazing from those who don't view it as horrible. I could be wrong, but if she sees something like paddling as something you could only do with anger and hate, then she doesn't understand why her boyfriend would participate, so she's asking for another perspective.

The irony of this coming from you would make Alanis Morrisette jealous.

But congrats on getting to 19 posts without getting banned. Again. What will it be when the inevitable happens, the 20th time you've been banned?

I agree with Senusret and BluPhire.

FWIW, me too.

Not sure why leading someone you love towards getting much needed help would be such a terrible idea...but whatever... If she doesn't like the suggestion, she doesn't have to accept it. And, if he doesn't want the help, he doesn't have to take it.

Regardless, there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with seeking professional help for issues (for emotional, physical, addictive behaviors, or otherwise) if you needed it. In fact, it's the smart thing to do! Some things are bigger than we are...and more than we can bear alone.

I'm a counselor and I agree with the people thinking that counseling is probably NOT the answer here with the information provided.

Yeah counseling is (almost) always a good thing, but you're kind of coming at this from a really extreme perspective.

I think everyone is reading too much into the OP. Just saying.

Agreed. I think she's more upset that she's not part of that part of his life rather than he's running after pledges with a meat grinder in one hand and a blowtorch in the other.