[QUOTE]Originally posted by ClassyLady
[B]



Let me tell you, one morning I was acting up at breakfast, and my mother beat me with a spatula. The very same spatula that she was cooking with so it had hot grease on it which burned my butt as she beat me. Then this same woman, rinsed it off in the sink and went back to turning pancakes.

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!!!!!!
I m sorry I'm just imagin your mom goin back to the stove hummin and makin pancakes (she probably talkin on the phone too) right after she gave you a beatin and you over there cryin LOOOL LOOOOOOOOL!!!

Yeah I am at work bored...searching old threads!

I came across this one, ya'll my eyes are red, and I am crying from laughing at these posts! I have stories, but I can't even tell them right now. OMG I wish ya'll knew how hard I am laughing, especially at the previous one about the spatula!

LOL doesn't explain it! I am glad I don't have any patients!

Here is the one thing that my mother STILL says to me to this day:

"You're not too big to get your ass beat"

AND

"Don't make me knock you down to my size"

This is because I've been taller than my mom since I was like 11, and thought that would be the end of her evil reign. Boy, was I wrong!

"I brought you in this world and i will take you out"

"I'll knock you into next week"

"Don't you ever, as long as you're black....."

"Don't make me whoop you w/ your BOTO BAT" (and she did)

I had a SMART mouth when I was younger (no, really ;) ), anyway, one day...I can't remember what it was that my mom did, but I felt like she'd invaded my privacy. I said something like "But why you do that, it's was my business!" My mom said, "Girl this is my house, and as long as you live here, you ain't got no business"

That's right along the lines as:

As long as your in my house you will live by my rules

Or when I was about to get a beating and I would say "Ma, my stomach hurts!" She would say "Well you should've thought about that before!"

My mother only cursed at me once, that is when she found out I was having sex (I won't say how old I was ;) ), but even then it was "Well, I'll be damned...OOH, Lord forgive my language!"

I have some more stories, but I am getting tired/lazy, haven't been to sleep since yesterday afternoon...I'll be back.

lol
 

"alright now....you cruising for a bruising"

"try me if you want...you'd rather stick your hand in a rattlesnakes nest than to tangle with me":eek:

"I don't care how yo friends parents raise them..after I get through wipping your arse, take your butt upstairs and take a good look at your birth certificate...you might see a familiar name in the space for mother!":mad: (she use to piss me off with that...like I didn't know she was mom!! lol)

"Boy, you ain't got the sense GOD promised the fool!" I use to wonder, what fool is she talking about?

"Boy, I'ma knock yo arse to zero":eek: Meaning, no matter how old you were, she'd still kick that tail!

"I don't care what yo daddy say...I'M yo momma" as if I didn't know.

I love my mom:) Just had an eventful weekend with her in Tallahassee.

Since I just left home for school 8 months ago, these are still familiar to me
"You're not the brightest crayon in the box are you?"
" Don't write a check that your behind can't cash:D !(I hated that one)
" This hurts me more than it does you"( then why are you doing it?":(

My mother has said a lot of the things that you all have posted on here already, but what use to KILL me was when my mother said this:

"I'm not mad, I'm disappointed."