Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek (Post 2008661)

I dunno. I mean, for me, I guess I don't really care what other couples my age are doing. Most my age are married, but my decision to marry has to be based on what's best for the both of us, not based on what "age" or when most couples tend to marry. I mean, I want to finish my career goals first. That's important to me. I just think the bottom line is if the two of you are not walking in the same direction in life, you'll end up going separate ways, regardless of when or the "age" you choose to marry. Whether you decide to marry young or not, aligning yourself in a committed relationship with a guy who doesn't agree with your values and basic belief systems will be problematic throughout the life of the marriage. It's just that for me, if he doesn't fit from the beginning, he never will. I mean, of course I could fit with a lot of guys, but one will fit better than most. What starts off right, in most cases finishes right. What starts of wrong usually never gets right, it just gets worse. I just think that if we want the best mate for our lives, we have to be willing to understand our own uniqueness and wait for the right fit, not look at what decisions other couples are making.

Originally Posted by DrPhil (Post 2008509)

You can CHOOSE to be a stay-at-home parent/housewife/househusband but you don't NEED to be one due to dependency. In general, I don't believe in having to say "I wish I had" or "I wish I/we could." That's also why threads like "what do you WISH you did for a living" are very interesting to me but particularly if people had to put their dreams on hold for relationship or family. My family, friends, and I believe in accomplishing your goals and dreams before getting married and continuing to accomplish. If not, you could end up pissed as hell and resentful.

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek (Post 2008661)

I dunno. I mean, for me, I guess I don't really care what other couples my age are doing. Most my age are married, but my decision to marry has to be based on what's best for the both of us, not based on what "age" or when most couples tend to marry. I mean, I want to finish my career goals first. That's important to me. I just think the bottom line is if the two of you are not walking in the same direction in life, you'll end up going separate ways, regardless of when or the "age" you choose to marry. Whether you decide to marry young or not, aligning yourself in a committed relationship with a guy who doesn't agree with your values and basic belief systems will be problematic throughout the life of the marriage. It's just that for me, if he doesn't fit from the beginning, he never will. I mean, of course I could fit with a lot of guys, but one will fit better than most. What starts off right, in most cases finishes right. What starts of wrong usually never gets right, it just gets worse. I just think that if we want the best mate for our lives, we have to be willing to understand our own uniqueness and wait for the right fit, not look at what decisions other couples are making.

Originally Posted by ree-Xi (Post 2008966)

I love how you put that. Hubby and I were definitely walking in the same direction (as each other, not necessarily the same direction we were 15 years ago), and though nothing is perfect, it works for us.

Originally Posted by Alumiyum (Post 2010430)

I know girls who have dropped out of school to get married. I even know one who only had a semester left and chose to get married instead of finishing her degree. (I'm not sure why those two things were mutually exclusive, but for her they seemed to be). To me, that is a complete waste.

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06 (Post 2010608)

My mom's frend has a daughter who was accepted into a 6 year accelerated BS/MD med school program that OH state schools have (you go to school all year round and complete your BS and MD in 6 years).

She had a long term boyfriend who was headed to seminary to become a pastor. He proposed to her the weekend she finished her BS (meaning she would start med school the next semester).

She decided to give up her spot in this program to "stay at home and emotionally support her fiance/the household while he's in seminary."

Originally Posted by Kappamd (Post 2010656)

^^^Ok, not only that, but BS/MD programs are INTENSE and extremely competitive. You just don't enter that kind of problem if you're only "ohhhh, maybe I want to be a doctor." These students are highly "in-bred" in that they have multiple family members who are physicians, probably who went to the same medical school. Entering a BS/MD program means essentially kissing your chance to have any sort of normal social life in college goodbye. You end up with a shitty degree in "natural sciences" or something similar that really only has value to the medical school you made a commitment to. Every BS/MD student I've known that didn't go on to the medical school track (usually because they couldnt score the minimum score on the MCAT) has had to go back and complete an additional degree. WHY anyone would go through that hell and then drop out for a guy......that is just incomprehensible.

But hey, we'll probably never know her true motivations.

Originally Posted by Drolefille (Post 2010625)

^^ Do you think it was just a sign that she didn't want to be a doctor after all....