Originally Posted by 33girl (Post 1992005)

Unless everyone attending the wedding is from the same town and knows the bride's family and bridesmaids personally, I think that enclosing a gift registry card is only considerate. I mean, my cousin is engaged to a girl from New England. I have no clue if they registered down here, up there, or in between.

Originally Posted by 33girl (Post 1992086)

And quite frankly...I don't want to go to the thing. I want to get a gift, go there, and go home with as little thought as possible.

Originally Posted by MysticCat (Post 1992101)

That's when you call (or email) your aunt or uncle, ask where cousin and fiancée are registered, call (or go online to) that store, purchase the gift and have the store deliver it.

Originally Posted by agzg (Post 1992092)

A stag & drag is a pre-wedding party where you pay like $10 and get free food and beer, and then you stay there and gamble on different games, sometimes there's a 50/50, etc., and the procedes go towards THE WEDDING.

SRSLY. You throw a stag and drag to help pay for your WEDDING. Actually, your wedding party is supposed to throw the stag and drag. They basically take on the costs (food, drink, etc.), and the money from the night goes to the WEDDING.

Probably the tackiest thing ever. Probably worse, the bride and groom I mentioned above actually THREW THEIR OWN, sent out their own invites, etc., and invited AT LEAST 300 people, most of which were not going to be invited to the wedding at all (and in my case, I didn't even know she was engaged). Since this was a person I didn't particularly like to start, I was actually pretty pissed that I got the invite.

This is a tradition that's pretty strong in Erie.

ETA: I've been invited to a handful, and if it's a couple I like, I usually suck it up and go instead of getting them a gift (whether or not I'm invited - I fully understand that every wedding guest list has to stop somewhere). This couple in particular (the tacky tacksters), there was no way I was ever going to be invited, and if I had been, it would've definitely been a gift grab. You don't invite people who you've had a falling out with to your wedding in an attempt to make amends unless it's family.

Originally Posted by PeppyGPhiB (Post 1992193)

Honeymoon, Mortgage, "Wishing Well" registries are all tacky for the same reason - they're registries for cash!

A Honeymoon Registry may offer people the chance to buy a massage, tour, sunset sail, etc., but that's really not what's going on. On a honeymoon registry, you just list some of the activities you want to do on your honeymoon and the approximate dollar amount next to it - people "buy" it for you, but really their money is just getting put into an account you set up with the company running the registry. In the end all the couple has is a bucket o' cash. So, in other words, they registered for money, which is horrible. What makes it worse is that the honeymoon registry companies charge a fee for each transaction/purchase, so some of the money that your guests think is going to you is actually going to the registry company.

The Knot is full of questions about honeymoon and other cash registries fronting as something they're not. It's stupid because people don't have to be told that cash is a welcome gift...it always is. But no one with any manners would ever TELL anyone they want cash.

Originally Posted by Alumiyum (Post 1992194)

I'm all about avoiding tacky, but for couples that already have a home and don't need dishes and linens, I wouldn't mind this set up. Otherwise they'd be given a bunch of things they just don't need. If it's a specific this-is-for-the-honeymoon account, it's ok with me. I have a lot of friends getting married now but I know I'll have a lot more that will get married after they already have jobs and likely a nice place and plenty of cookware...honeymoon gifts are more useful in that case. To me that's far less offensive than the ones that overshoot on their registries and register only at expensive shops for only the expensive items. When I'm invited to a wedding it's an indication the guests aren't on par with the guests at the Trump weddings, and expecting people to spend an absolute buttload is rude, IMO.

Originally Posted by agzg (Post 1992196)

I'm firmly of the mindset that everyone you invite to your wedding should know whether or not the couple has a home and doesn't need dishes and linens in advance, in order to judge whether or not cash would be more appropriate.

Originally Posted by DubaiSis (Post 1992203)

Let's face it, wedding gifts are all about the money, so getting it in dishes or godawful lavender EMBROIDERED bath towels (with our names, so no, I couldn't return them for cash) or one of 4 picnic baskets, it's about helping you set up your marital shop which costs money. In a lot of places, the bride and groom get almost strictly cash, so at least funding their honeymoon feels a LITTLE more personal.

I try to make quilts for family and close friends, but of course that's not something you can do for just anybody! But it's financially cheap and they remember it forever.

Originally Posted by Alumiyum (Post 1992194)

I'm all about avoiding tacky, but for couples that already have a home and don't need dishes and linens, I wouldn't mind this set up. Otherwise they'd be given a bunch of things they just don't need. If it's a specific this-is-for-the-honeymoon account, it's ok with me.