I agree with SilverTurtle and 33girl. I am from the south, arranged the hosting of our chapters etiquette workshop, and took a course in etiquette. Not once has anyone ever mentioned that you should be anything less than polite to your server. I agree that you don't need to hold a conversation with them, but a simple please and thank you has never hurt anyone.

Our house mom does etiquette lessons each year. She does them by pledge class or year in school. She covers the basics and as we progress through school she adds things that will be useful. As a senior she described how to act at a dinner interview. It was invaluable because many of my pledge sisters actually landed great jobs because of their grace at these interviews. She also did an etiquette tip at each Monday evening formal dinner.

I thought they were great.

I agree with those of you who do encourage a simple "please" and "thank you" to your servers. While there is nothing "wrong" about not acknowledging your servers, if you need a clean glass, an extra napkin or place setting, your servers will be more likely to provide to those that appreciate the hard work they do than those who appear to be impervious.

I am a firm believer in the instruction of etiquette for both men and women. Dinners and social events are much more pleasant if there is a general understanding of social courtesy from all parties.

I am currently reading Amy Vanderbilt's Complete Book of Etiquette...circa 1952 :eek:! Although there are elements that will last throughout eternity, it's interesting to read about gender equality (or rather the lack thereof), especially in the work force. It's also quite humorous to read about women's fashion, including the fur coat I am supposed to own. :)

The 1950's etiquette books are hilarious! Even though I follow most of the dictums (since much doesn't change), it shows you how far we've come as a society.

We had a speaker at our national convention who did a "business etiquette" seminar. I think it was a great idea, especially considering most of our young ladies are planning to go into the business world upon graduation. For the life of me I can't remember her name but she is a pro and she has books out on the subject.....a lot of these etiquette rules carry over into regular situations as well. For the life of me I can't remember her name, Chi Os help me out.....Ann Blyth or Ann Something Blyth or something like that. I think she was even on Oprah. Anyway, I think anytime you can offer something that will enrich your members' skills in any way it is a good idea.

I think most of the reason for not speaking to the servers does date back to earlier social structure ie English maids etc. However as a rule I do not normally speak to waiters if someone at the table is speaking instead I nod and smile.

Crazy,
In my chapter we had an etiquette lesson every semester for our newest and all members. Our house mother did a dinner etiquette once a semester so we knew how to eat at our formal dinners (every night). She also had a video we showed once a semester. There should be a Horizons program on this, check with your Education Director.

Sigma Love,

How wonderful it would be if one of our collegiate chapters were taught a little about etiquette...

I am in an alumnae chapter, and we work with an unmaned college chapter near us. I can't tell you how many generous, thoughtful things we have done for this chapter, and we have YET to receive even a thank you note for our efforts. It's insulting, yet, like the "ladies" we are, we keep chugging along and doing more for/with them. Please! Teach those young ladies some manners. LOL! :) (please, I am only 30. LOL!...but still, I would NEVER receive a gift and go about my day!!!) And their badge attire is frightful ..but, I too, digress :)

I was raised in a military family, so I grew up neither here nor there, but it's always polite to say please and thank you to your servers. Especially when you can't see what's going on in the kitchen!! :)

Side note: If any of you saw the making of the movie Titanic...there was an interview with the person who made sure each and every thing that was said and done was appropriate to the time period. I specifically remember her saying that back "then" you NEVER said anything, or even looked a server in the eye. You tipped your finger to your glass, or held it up for a refill, etc. She then went on to say "nobody does that anymore, it would be considered rude". So, I guess manners do "evolve".

Anyway...great idea...capsules on gift receiving, table manners, proper attire, etc is always a wonderful idea!!

Tracy :D

Proper ettiquette can do wonders for your chapter's image!!! Our chapter practices ettiquette all the time. We have an officer who's sole purpose in life is to educate the members on ettiquette. Around campus we can be seen opening the doors for the ladies. There is a fine if one member catches another not standing when a lady enters the room in the chapter house. If your chapter does not practice this stuff then you're REALLY missing out.

LHT
Kevin
MT 5
University of Central Oklahoma

I know my daughter's DG chapter does the weekly tip and more.

I think this is an outstanding practice!

Our chapter does not do this, but sometimes I wish we would!

I agree, this is a great idea and I wish my chapter did more with it !!

For those of you expressing that you wish your chapter did more with this subject:

Ask your Membership Education chair, housemom, President... to consider including weekly tips, dedicating an educational meeting to it... My point is that maybe it's something they don't think about, but would find valuable. Nothing will ever change if nobody takes action. A true leader is not always the person who seems to be in charge :D

THis was so funny to me when I first started reading......probably because I am a Northerner! I can't imagine my chapter taking ettiquette classes or even having an ettiquette tip at the meeting each week! Things are so informal up here. I seriously don't know where we would use most of the stuff....except fot the basics like please and thank you, etc. I think if I brought up having a tip read each week my sisters would laugh in my face and think I was smoking something! THere's nothing wrong with it....just different cultures I guess! I would love to be a part of a southern sorority for a week just to see how different it is. Isn't it amazing how different and diverse our country is?:)

It's not that we have a stick up our a$$ it's just the concept that knowing proper ettiquette will help you out later in life. Business dinners, etc.. I'd say a few tips on ettiquette would make anyone a more well rounded person.

LHT
Kevin