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-   -   Bid Day Activiites? Drag show and groping? (https://greekchat.com/gcforums/showthread.php?t=115546)

Leslie Anne 08-23-2010 08:34 AM
I've got to agree with ThetaDancer. I'm far more troubled by the bashing this chapter is getting. I think those who are offended by it probably aren't the type of people who would pledge that chapter to begin with.

Yes, it's unconventional but I'm going to trust that the chapter is filled with unconventional girls. Personally, I think it sounded like a blast, but then my parents took me to a drag show for part of my Sweet 16 so that's where I'm coming from.

I think the issue should be dropped. It really isn't our place to criticize what another chapter of another sorority does for Bid Day.

MysticCat 08-23-2010 08:58 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by agzg (Post 1973924)
I don't get the need for a passive aggressive separate thread. Why not just object to the activity in the actual thread, instead of creating a separate "calling them out for being inappropriate" thread?
So as not to derail that thread, which consists of a PNM/NM's story and lots of congratulations, with a discussion on whether what her chapter planned was appropriate?

I don't see starting a seperate thread about it as passive-agressive at all. I see it as trying not to rain on the NM's parade and trying to keep any discussion about the one activity in question seperate from that particular NM's deserved celebration.

Leslie Anne 08-23-2010 09:25 AM
The more I think about it, the angrier I get that this thread was even started. It wasn't passive-agressive, it was intentionally condescending and arrogant. I haven't seen any AEPhis here commenting and those are the only people who should be involved. The rest of it is just self-congratulatory posturing.

If a New Member came on here and complained about their Bid Day activity it would be a totally different story but that hasn't happened and until it does, this is none of our business.

AlphaFrog 08-23-2010 09:27 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by MysticCat (Post 1973939)
So as not to derail that thread, which consists of a PNM/NM's story and lots of congratulations, with a discussion on whether what her chapter planned was appropriate?

I don't see starting a seperate thread about it as passive-agressive at all. I see it as trying not to rain on the NM's parade and trying to keep any discussion about the one activity in question seperate from that particular NM's deserved celebration.
This.

I can personally see both sides of this. I probably would have been one of those girls who was uncomfortable with this being my first official intro to the sisterhood, but would have done it anyway (and probably had a good time) so I wouldn't be the weird one. I did a cabert style show in college, so I'm not uncomfortable with the actual activity...but in that case, I signed up for it. But, I guess if this is who your house is, then it works...if the NMs are turned off, then maybe they're in the wrong house, and at least they find that out right off the bat.

Ok, I'm done arguing with myself now...carry on.

agzg 08-23-2010 09:40 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Leslie Anne (Post 1973942)
The more I think about it, the angrier I get that this thread was even started. It wasn't passive-agressive, it was intentionally condescending and arrogant. I haven't seen any AEPhis here commenting and those are the only people who should be involved. The rest of it is just self-congratulatory posturing.

If a New Member came on here and complained about their Bid Day activity it would be a totally different story but that hasn't happened and until it does, this is none of our business.
Thank you.

33girl 08-23-2010 11:09 AM
I don't think the person who started the thread meant it to be that way - and I partially blame myself for asking for the link - but some of the subsequent comments have been straight up bitchiness.

Quote:
Originally Posted by AlphaFrog (Post 1973943)
But, I guess if this is who your house is, then it works...if the NMs are turned off, then maybe they're in the wrong house, and at least they find that out right off the bat.
Exactly my point. I think these girls would have been more horrified by a night of sitting around in their jammies, doing each other's toenails, and watching chick flicks.

Alumiyum 08-23-2010 12:03 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by 33girl (Post 1973828)
I think you guys are REALLY blowing the "groped" mention out of proportion. Like, to the point that you're being ridiculous. Do any of you have any clue what these shows are really like?

It would be nice if we could just be happy for the PNMs who have found new homes they love instead of picking apart their posts.
I do, personally...and while I'm not up for being groped even at something as harmless as a drag show without liquid courage, I really don't give a damn if someone else participates...but the question of is it appropriate for a Bid Night activity is fair, because it's a curious choice to some people since what would be appropriate obviously varies from campus to campus. (And varies from pledge class to pledge class...I can see my pledge class being totally up for that, but the more recent ones being scared to death, from my own chapter.)

Quote:
Originally Posted by peace<3phi (Post 1973862)
I want to add the perspective of a new member of this chapter.

The place we went is a restaurant downtown that has drag/cabaret shows. All around it is an exciting and fun atmosphere. I don't think I saw one girl who wasn't having the time of her life (possibly because my Alpha and I raced everyone for the front and center table). We had dinner and then the cabaret started. The entire night was filled with singing, dancing, and laughing. The food was good and I'm almost positive everyone had a good time.
The "groping" was limited to maybe a handfull of girls up front (and if your not interested in taking part, you generally don't sit up front for any type of show whether it be drag, magic, or comedy) and it wasn't any worse than what happens on a regular basis at bars surrounding the college.

The OP of the thread that started this one and I had a blast from what I could tell and what I saw of the rest, well they were standing in chairs to get a better look.

Love from a baby Phi
Glad you had fun and congrats on finding your home!

AlphaFrog 08-23-2010 12:21 PM
I agree that the OP probably didn't have malicious intent starting this thread. A particular event inspired it, but I don't think the OP was wanting us to pick apart that event (or chapter) as much as start a discussion.

I would think that a good measure is (rather than "WWFD? - What would Founders do? Or even alums/moms/grandmothers) ...would you (barring gender-specific details) do this on a first date? Clearly, the answer is going to vary, and that's ok. That's where chapter and campus dynamics come into play.

Alumiyum 08-23-2010 12:37 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by AlphaFrog (Post 1973994)
I agree that the OP probably didn't have malicious intent starting this thread. A particular event inspired it, but I don't think the OP was wanting us to pick apart that event (or chapter) as much as start a discussion.

I would think that a good measure is (rather than "WWFD? - What would Founders do? Or even alums/moms/grandmothers) ...would you (barring gender-specific details) do this on a first date? Clearly, the answer is going to vary, and that's ok. That's where chapter and campus dynamics come into play.
Agree, "what would our founders do?" is a horrible standard to go by. Because they wouldn't be doing 90% of the things the average female college student does, from wearing jeans to going to bars.

I like for actives to think about how what they do reflects on the international organization...as long as they remember that they are in college, and some members will make mistakes, and that's ok.

It does appear from the posts made by chapter members that generally speaking this wouldn't be crossing the line.

AZTheta 08-23-2010 01:04 PM
First, to our new AEPhi, again huge congratulations and much happiness to you and your sisters.

My lens was "risk" oriented. I always welcome and enjoy conversation and spirited debate, especially from those whose viewpoints differ from mine. It's been interesting to read what everyone thinks and realize that there probably is no "right" answer. @AlphaFrog, I like the "first date" approach/question and can see how it applies to this situation. @Alumiyum, I don't know that I agree that it's "horrible" to think about the founders, but I can see where context is critical and in this context, it simply doesn't work. Thanks for helping me see that. I really do appreciate it and it's given me something to think over.

Drolefille 08-23-2010 01:45 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by AzTheta (Post 1974013)
@Alumiyum, I don't know that I agree that it's "horrible" to think about the founders, but I can see where context is critical and in this context, it simply doesn't work. Thanks for helping me see that. I really do appreciate it and it's given me something to think over.
In many cases the "what would your founders think" question is used rather condescendingly with an intent to shame the actives (or you know, GC posters.) Particularly when it's coming from an outsider the question just rubs the wrong way. Our founders created our GLOs and are a big influence on us in that way, but they aren't perfect examples of how we should act/think/feel and they quite obviously came from a different time.

That's why the question is reacted to in that way in this context and nearly every other one.

AZTheta 08-23-2010 01:57 PM
Thanks Drolefille, I had NO IDEA about that. Context is everything. That will be put in the "no longer used" file. Appreciate your taking the time to clarify.

Alumiyum 08-23-2010 02:27 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Drolefille (Post 1974032)
In many cases the "what would your founders think" question is used rather condescendingly with an intent to shame the actives (or you know, GC posters.) Particularly when it's coming from an outsider the question just rubs the wrong way. Our founders created our GLOs and are a big influence on us in that way, but they aren't perfect examples of how we should act/think/feel and they quite obviously came from a different time.

That's why the question is reacted to in that way in this context and nearly every other one.
This^. Sorry AzTheta, this is what I was getting at, I just didn't explain it as well.

AZTheta 08-23-2010 02:38 PM
^No worries, got it now! I slapped myself on the forehead when I read Drole's post. Doh - really big doh. That's why it's good to listen to other peoples' points of view and keep an open mind, because things aren't always what I think they are. Thanks again to you all for sharing and explaining.


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