I haven't made any negative comments about you...yet.

I am just trying to keep it real because I can't help it if your OP just feels.....off.

Again, if you are indeed real, don't let what others think of you keep you from living your life.

If you are this way about joining a sorority then this mode of thinking won't help you once you join us in the real world.

You think about what's best for you and focus on that...good night.

I know the biggest thing working against me is my weight, next is my status. I don't think I won't be cut because of the upperclassmen quota- I just hope it works in my favor. I'm trying not to focus on the aspects that can get me cut- rather the aspects that keep me in the game.

I understand that being a junior isn't the ideal standing for me, but I can't change that. If I get cut from all houses after the first round, then so be it. But I'm not leaving without putting my all into it.

For some reason these posts have me really down. Which is very silly.

I know at my school, a few sororities pride on not really discriminating on looks. They focus on if you're a good fit for a sisterhood or not. In all honestly, the couple of sororities that do that, do VERY well all round.


At my college a few sororities focus less on the 'looks.' In all honesty, they do VERY well with GPA, volunteering and have an amazing bond. I think you just need to find the house that best fits you. I don't think you'd want to be in a sisterhood that would be sort of fake. Rush and find a good fit.

No, you're assuming that it's your weight. Again this might be related to your own self esteem issues. Your status probably has more of a negative weight to it, even with upperclassmen quotas. I can tell you I've never heard any of my sorority sisters express that they wouldn't want to be someone's sister due to her weight. But I don't want to edge close to anything that gets too close to membership selection.

I support you going through and giving it your all. Go for it. But don't hang on to "my weight is a disadvantage." If you're confident and composed you'll be giving yourself your own best shot. If you're uncomfortable and uncertain, you'll show it and that will hurt you more than size 16 jeans.

Which really aren't that big.

Thebigghost- You're exactly right. I don't want to be around girls who are fake. If I get accepted to a sorority it will be one that sees me for me. That being said- I'm headed back to the dorms and catching some good sleep before class tomorrow. Thank you everyone for your input and I hope you have a nice night!

While I do think you sound like a real PNM, I do have to argue that weight is not your biggest issue. I went through recruitment at a competitive campus surrounded by little, petite bombshells and I'm proud to say that even in my 12-14 ish size, I was extended a bid to my first choice. However, I was also a freshman when I went through recruitment. You're upperclass standing will definitely have the biggest impact on whether or not you are cut from chapters, but it sounds like you do have a lot to offer, including a few more years in school. Make sure you let girls know that you do have more than two years left in school, if that is the case, rather dwelling on your waist size.

Carynie- I appreciate your input. I do know very little about greek life- so there's a very good chance I am focusing on the wrong negative aspect. I will make sure to express that I have at least 3-4 years left before graduation when I go through recruitment. I was completely unaware that being a junior would hurt my chances so severely.

If you were at a small school with a more lowkey Greek life, it might not. However, at your competitive campus, it probably will. Not saying it's insurmountable, but it definitely is a large factor.

I will share what I know from my experiences at both a small private university where a large part of the student population goes greek and also at a very competitive SEC school.

At the small private U - your weight issue may hinder you from certain orgs, but not all orgs. Some definitely place a large factor on appearance and weight is a big part. Since less females go through each house weight is something that will be noticed. Your class standing will play a part, but it will not keep you from finding a home. I want to add at this small, private U majority freshmen do go through recruitment though. Most students would have pledged their first year.

At the competitve SEC school - weight will truly hurt you in countless houses, but you will never know if you were denied an invite back due to weight or class standing as the standing plays a large part as well. It is a crap shoot.

Honestly, you just have to try and when all is said and done you will never know why you were cut anywhere. It is the same for another pnm who is thin or a sophomore going through recruitment. They will never know the reason(s) why they were cut. Keep in mind it takes just one house and one invite! It is not impossible. I wish you much luck!

There will likely be chapters on your campus that highly consider appearance. You will not know if that is the reason you would be cut from those chapters, or if you would be cut at all. You, and every other PNM should keep an open mind to all chapters, because happiness can likely be found in all or most of them.

Stop focusing on what you can't control! Recruitment is not far away, so at this point, you can't [healthily] do much about your weight. You can't do anything about your class standing either.

You can control conversation skills, so practice. You can control your self-presentation, so make your your clothes, hair, and makeup are appropriate and flattering and give you a polished, neat appearance.

it may be the real issue that may happen via big girls.....

Unfortunate :(

agreed! If you hate it, either learn to love it or change it:) Life's too short

In this case, I doubt her self-esteem would improve if she lost weight. If you're not self-assured in any stage of life, it's doubtful you would be in any other. I know women who are quite literally twice as big as the OP who are DIVAs. Granted, they're all older, professional women.