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As for the method of the breakup? After such a betrayal, my sense of justice condones such cathartic/scorched-Earth means. Her acts were unforgivable and could have (and possibly do) had lifelong financial and emotional implications for this man. She got what was coming to her. |
I still say the whole thing is crass and uncouth. But, I come from a more civilized era, where a breakup was handled privately and with discretion. There wasn't a venue or market for this type of trash.
Having 3 sons, if one of them pulled this stunt, I would not only be disappointed in him, but I would question where my parenting went wrong. Break up with the cheating wench - YES, absolutely! But it's much better to emerge from the whole fiasco the "better person", not the sensationalistic scumbag who people are talking about publicly and on national websites and airwaves. Will he be proud to have his children hear that performance in a few years? I don't think so. |
I think that discussions like this are great...and we're all entitled to our opinion...however...
It's quite obvious that this young lady wasn't too concerned about privacy and discretion when she PUBLICLY disrespected herself, her partner and her relationship. People have grown tired of having to remain silent when it comes to abusive relationships, cheating and betrayal...and I'm not sure as to why you're so moved to call the young man a "scumbag" b/c had she NOT conducted herself in such a manner, there would be nothing to discuss. In my humble opinion, she got what she deserved...and considering the fact that she continued to lie and cheat after finding the ring . . . and still, arrogantly, expected a proposal -it should have been 10X's worse. Some people have lost their lives behind such irresponsible behavior. If I'm correct, the ex-wife of a Texas dentist is serving a 10 year prison sentence for running over her cheating husband three times with a car. Others have even experienced the pain of hot oil or grits on their skin (ask Al Green). I'm definitely not in favor of violence, but there is no telling what a person will do until they're in a particular situation. Again, whether it's a male or female, people are fed up and tired of "turning the other cheek." I'm reminded of an old saying, "don't start no mess and there won't be no mess." We all have a breaking/snapping point - and sometimes it's just best not to be stupid enough to test it. Perhaps we should just bring back the stockades...LOL! Anyway, my point remains...treat others the way in which you want to be treated...it's quite simple. |
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If you listen to the broadcast, it's not clear WHAT she actually did other than kiss the guy, which, YES constitutes cheating, but IMO, does not constitute public humiliation and cruelty. She even tearfully says that she made a mistake. Wouldn't this confession and sorrow be better handled privately between the two? If she had had sex in, say, a public venue and it had been taped and broadcast on youtube, then YES, publicly humiliate her because she has brought the thing to the public. But, from the recording, this doesn't seem to be the case - nor is there any indication that it was some on-going affair. I just don't think these shock jock public humiliations are not a heatlhy thing in any way, and I wish the "market" for them was less, because IMO, it doesn't say much for the American public if hearing someone's private pain and agony aired to God knows whoever is entertaining. I think it is sick and sadistic. Also, having been through alot of life and having seen many things - the "kissing" event over the length of a long relationship and marriage can be something that can be discussed, worked through and actually even strenghten the marriage. I've seen worse things gotten over, but this guy, who had spent 5 years in love with this woman, who seemingly loved him back, despite the indiscretion, has blown any chance he had to make things right. She certainly doesn't sound like a woman who didn't care. Another thing, I believe that sometimes admitting to an indiscretion or mistake can be MORE harmful and actually MORE selfish than keeping it to yourself - sometimes, the, "I can't live with the guilt, so I had to tell you." is actually more painful to the other person, and as long as the indiscretion truly was a MISTAKE, not to be repeated, it is kinder to move on and not hurt your partner. But, like I said, I've seen alot - I've been married for 25 years (thankfully never been in this situation) but I have plenty of friends who have and I've seen it go both ways. |
There is a huge difference between being seen kissing an old boyfriend in a bar by a friend of your boyfriend's and airing the entire sad event on radio.
Honestly, there is no difference between the two...both are unacceptable. And once again, if she had a modicum of decency and self-respect, she would NOT have put herself in that position in the first place. She was in a relationship...not playing a kindergarten game of "play-house." I think we all have made mistakes...but repeatedly? When do you grow the hell up? You're not only playing with someone's emotions but you're using their finances, their time...and playing a dangerous game with their life/health!! ...but this guy, who had spent 5 years in love with this woman, who seemingly loved him back, despite the indiscretion, has blown any chance he had to make things right. Not trying to be funny, but this is slightly laughable. Who's to say that he wants her back in his life? Are you aware of the number of good, self-respecting, and honest women out there...who are willing to do right by their mate? I'm quite sure that this guy doesn't live under a rock...he doesn't have to settle. I think that she blew any chances when she: A)cheated B) still couldn't even come clean when asked. "The best lessons in life, are the ones you pay for..." and hopefully she learned from this. Still, no one has to take that crap...unless they have some serious self-esteem issues. I tell most of my female friends..."if he's cheating and has no respect or appreciation for you, there's someone out there who will do right by you." And yes, it's sometimes easier said than done.. This young man will meet someone who will do right by him. It's about knowing your worth, your value and loving yourself. Ask yourself, "would I treat myself this way?" If not, tell 'em to pack their bags and leave the key on the counter. I love you, baby...but you gotta take that stress and drama somewhere else... LOL!! |
I have to say that I agree with srmom. The tramp deserved to be dumped, but on the radio? He lost the high road when he turned to the radio.
FYI, an accident somewhat similar to this happened on the radio station I listen to. The station was later sued - and lost - but I forget what grounds the plantiff used. We have some crazy laws, though. |
I agree that both actions were unacceptable as well - I even stated that in my last post.
"Whatever one sows, that will he also reap." Not my words...I think they come from Galations 6:7. Again, if you treat people right from jump...you should have nothing to worry about - no pain...no shame. |
If you have to say "but" then you really don't believe they were both unacceptable.
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Wooooooooow... all 4 of the people in that clip are douchebags.
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The pain of most breakups, no matter how terrible the relationship was, usually goes away quicker than you think. Being connected to something like this won't go away any time soon--for either party. |
As to the other issue - basically, the "once a cheater always a cheater" scenario~
When I was younger, I believed this, I also felt as strongly as you do, Acedawg, that I would never stand for it - that if my husband ever screwed up that way, I'd be out the door! While thankfully, I have never been faced with that, I have seen many who have. Some have chosen to chuck the bum out, some have chosen to work through it IF the guilty party is TRULY repentant and knows they screwed up big time. I have seen marriages get stronger, but built on a different foundation. And now I'm not convinced of the "once a cheater" thing. Anyway, my feelings have changed. I hope to high heavens that I'm never confronted with this situation, but I don't think I would have the knee jerk reaction to it that I would have had in my 20's. It all depends on the circumstances and the relationship. Just my 2 cents. :) I'm getting way too deep here though :rolleyes: |
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I don't agree with the way that the guy handled things (I didn't laugh either), I do agree with what Acedawg said about not knowing how the other person will react if/when they find out you cheated. Err on the side of caution. |
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