karmelgirl- I understand what you are saying. I hope you will encourage your daughter to consider COB, if they have it on her campus. It sounds like she may be regretting her rash decision to drop out of recruitment without attending pref, and believe me, she would not be the first to have that regret.

I have read your posts and I do not see anywhere a comment that is casting blame or claiming mistreatment. You are just expressing the disappointment that you feel about a situation gone wrong.

As a member of a Greek organization, you have the ability to see both sides of the situation and either way, it is painful. To know that group(s) rejected your daughter -you've been through membership selection and know the ins and outs of that - plus, to know your daughter did not attend the last parties - and effectively cut her limited choices to nil - are both hard to accept.

If you will be patient and skim the recruitment stories, you may find some insight from women who experienced what your daughter did, then came back and pledged later.

Either way, now is the time to help your daughter learn and accept a tough life lesson. As a mother of a two college daughters, it certainly seems to be a period of life where they learn some biggies!

I'm more sorry that your daughter didn't get cast in the play. That makes the theatre geek in me really, really sad.

Unfortunately, it seems like she had a whole lotta rejectment all in one day. :(

Is informal recruitment an option at her school?

Thanks all....I think they have informal in the fall
but only a few houses participate....based on house quota I think. It might be an option. After things quiet down I will check. Her roommate is pledging also, so that is not making it easier, although thankfully they have a great relationship.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that if the theatre department is holding tryouts the week of rush, at the same time, they are pretty much saying "be theatre or be Greek." Someone else's daughter had the same situation with band camp ALWAYS being scheduled the same week as rush. Groups can't come right out and say "we don't want Greeks", but in some campus orgs you will find a very strong anti-Greek element, and if it just "happens" that all their important stuff happens at the same time as important/mandatory Greek stuff, so sad too bad. It might not necessarily be because they think Greeks are evil, more that they don't want people dividing their time.

DISCLAIMER: I'm definitely not saying this is the way it is at every school, just saying (from seeing some friends go through it) that this might be part of the problem.

Why would you check into informal recruitment for your daughter, rather than having her do it herself?

Just a question. :)

If your daughter is into acting, then she REALLY needs to get used to the idea of rejection, quick. If it breaks her that much, then she really should find a different interest because rejection happens frequently in that area.

I'm sure she's disappointed, but I can't conceive of a way that she could've done both at the same time- it would've been really tough to be in a production and pledge at the same time, AND keep up with her grades.

I think it is time to continue to support your daughter and be there for her, but step back and let her be an adult and deal with these things on her own.

I question whether she really wanted to be Greek all that much. Maybe she was just going through to make you happy, and didn't think it was really for her? After all, you're the one posting on here about her experience, not her. Just a guess, but it may not be too far off from the truth.

I read that as "after things quiet down (with her) I will check (with her)."

Meaning she'd check with her daughter. Why would she have to wait until things quiet down to call the school? (OH GOD OP please don't call the school!)

It's also worth pointing out that on some campuses chapters are hesitant to issue bids to PNMs who are involved in some activities because they know how much time it requires. Chapters want members who will be involved, not constantly turning in an excuse for missing meetings and such due to other obligations. Also, members with massive demands on their time can struggle with grades because there is simply not enough time left in their schedule to study.

Same reason why would mom post here when it's her daughter going through recruitment.

For goodness sake, what is that link? I think it's appropriate bc the daughter is a "complete package".

.

:D

Hey Mom, I know it hurts when our kids hurt. She is not alone, rough recruitments happen, and it probably happened to other girls at her school. Just be a shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen. From your posts, that sounds like what you're doing.

Good luck to your daughter in her future endeavors in theater. From what I know from my friends' kids who are theater majors, it is rare for freshmen to be cast in productions, so perhaps she just has to pay some more dues to get a role...

As for dropping out of recruitment, I can understand how getting hit with the "double whammy" was just too much and she just couldn't pull herself together to pretend everything was peachy keen. Perhaps she can meet more girls, make some connections and try again.

It sounds like she's a great girl with a lot of interests, she will be fine in the long run. :)

This is a strange flip side of my a cappella rush story...finding out in the morning that I DID get cast in a play gave me the confidence to try out for the singing groups.

I can understand how having a very bad day can cloud your judgment temporarily, especially as a first year student. It sounds like both mom and daughter understand that the daughter made a hasty mistake, and will be more open to opportunities in the future as a result. There are TONS of ways to get involved on campus at the school we're talking about. Maybe she could swallow her pride and volunteer at the show she didn't get cast in -- painting scenery is a great way for freshmen to get to know upperclassman actors and directors who will be more likely to remember her face at next semester's auditions.
________
GONG BONGS

Hopefully she meant the former.

And LOL at the bolded.