If this was to me (I'm not sure it is): In my post I made it clear that in my chapter your big sister gives you your lavaliere, however I received a silver one and everyone knew I wanted a gold one. He got me the gold one.

Also, he did give me his letters and we are now broken up but on very good terms so in response to those wondering what happens after, I kept mine. This works for US, I don't know about anyone else, but b/c his brothers and chapter were instrumental in me meeting the women who eventually became my sisters there is a bond b/t myself and many of the older members in his organization. So it's not just about my ex for me. He knows I respect his fraternity and so it was never an issue to give the lavalier back. That works for us, it may not work well or at all for others.

So here's what happened. He lavaliered you with his letters and you had a candlepass. He gave you a present of a gold Phi Mu lavalier. The two have zero to do with each other. The "special promise" was signified by him giving you his letters, not him giving you your letters in a different metal.

LOL! We're lost! Okay here goes:

1) My big gave me a silver lavaliere about one year into membership as per chapter tradition (the choice of metal is left up to the big sister). It was well known I wanted gold and she still gave me silver so...
2) BF @ the time bought me a gold one. (It was just a random gift during the following spring, he chickened out on doing candle pass at chapter)
3) 3 years into dating he lavaliers me w/ HIS letters.
4) Several years later, we break up on good terms and due to the close relationship I have with his org/brothers he told me to keep his letter lavalier.
5) I also keep all other gifts received in relationship along w/ my sorority lavaliere he gave me.

^^ # 5 was in regard to the sorority lavalier that he gave me.

to clarify....she never ASKED me to lavalier her....i just know that its a big deal to some girls in sororities and i thought it would be special to do...im not in a fraternity but i do recognize the importance from hearing her friends talk about it...

Sorry I called her a ballbreaker, then. :) You can get her a promise ring or something similar if you want to show a deeper level of commitment and her sorority will still have a ceremony for her.

But your original post said "she has mentioned lavaliering." It doesn't say anything about what is special to "some girls."

she has mentioned lavaliering in talking with her sisters. not about it happening to her but in general about other sisters.

??? If she's talked with her sisters about others getting lavaliered, how do you know about it and how did you infer that was something she was interested in? I'm not trying to be sticky here but that sounds very odd...even for teenagers/young adults. She may have talked with some sister about another sister who has gone to live in South American on a ranch. Would, if you were informed of that discussion, think she wanted to do the same? Sorry, but I don't get where this came from in the first place. That seems about as odd as you asking about lavaliering her when you have nothing to lavalier her with - unless you are planning to run out and pledge a fraternity - which doesn't seem to be the case.

^^^ Seems pretty obvious to me that he means his girlfriend has talked with him about her sisters who have been lavaliered. It really doesn't take that much imagination to assume that he could tell, from the way she talked about it, that she wishes it could happen to her.

My boyfriend asked me twice before he "dropped" me (that's what we call it since you are getting his drops) there is supposed to be a ceremony I think but since we live in different states and busy schedules etc he just made it a special dinner and gave me his letters during a break. but in response to the op, if she seems like she wants something that requires a commitment then a promise ring or something similar would work. I probably won't ever wear his letters cause I live in my letters... But the fact that he cares that much to give me his letters that he earned made me feel special

But he said above me that she had not said anything to him. I think he's giving us two different stories.........

No, he said she never asked him to lavalier her but that she had talked about her sisters being lavaliered. I think you're reading in more than is there.

MysticCat: See his first posted quoted above. He says "she has mentioned lavaliering." That certainly sounds like she mentioned it to him as normally one would say "she mentioned to Susie who told me" if it was otherwise. Then he recanted later...perhaps he did misspeak to begin with but I only know what you say - not what you mean to say.