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-   -   Please don't stalk the PNMs (https://greekchat.com/gcforums/showthread.php?t=107006)

UGAalum94 08-29-2009 10:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jen (Post 1841171)
Well, no one uses the PM feature here to contact PNMs at all. So no one could possibly find out that info from some overly trusting PNM who doesn't realize they're dealing with a crazy person who will then Google them within an inch of their life when they don't get a bid and don't return to GC to tell their story, thus infuriating said crazy person who feels they have the RIGHT to know because overly trusting PNM obviously owes it to them since they had a handful of interactions via PM.

Or something like that ...

Do you know that this has actually happened or just that it has the potential to happen?

annabella 08-29-2009 11:21 PM

I've had a PNM PM me about a specific school and sign it with her name. Based on that+the question she asked, it would have been unavoidable for me to figure out who she was. I missed most of recruitment that year for an internship, but if I'd been at work week I would have likely figured it out without trying.

Totally not a crazy person—not about to Google someone within an inch of their life! But since these girls are so often newbies.... I don't think they always realize how easy it is to put a couple details together.

pbear19 08-29-2009 11:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by UGAalum94 (Post 1841320)
Not shot, just not established.

I'd disagree with that. Shadokat has very established credibility with some of us.

But I'm not surprised by the reaction, as I've seen evidence in a few recent threads the last couple of days that the board is back in a pissing contest over who has enough posts to matter.

UGAalum94 08-29-2009 11:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pbear19 (Post 1841333)
I'd disagree with that. Shadokat has very established credibility with some of us.

But I'm not surprised by the reaction, as I've seen evidence in a few recent threads the last couple of days that the board is back in a pissing contest over who has enough posts to matter.

I don't think post count really matters although I'm guilty of saying something about it in another thread (don't try to moderate a good moderator no matter how many post you have).

But I do think it's important that you establish why anyone should accept what you are telling them. If you post all the time, people have some experience with you and might know your history, but if you don't or haven't in a while, there are a bunch of newish users who have no reason to know that you know what you are talking about.

I have no idea why shadokat is an expert on pnm stalking.

aggieAXO 08-29-2009 11:48 PM

"I'd disagree with that. Shadokat has very established credibility with some of us.

But I'm not surprised by the reaction, as I've seen evidence in a few recent threads the last couple of days that the board is back in a pissing contest over who has enough posts to matter. "

ditto to this

Jimmy Choo 08-30-2009 12:07 AM

With everything else that has happened on this board would it really be a leap to Facebook stalk PNM's? It's just not outside of the realm of possibility.

(FYI I'm not saying that some of the people in this thread have done that. I may not post much but I'd have to say they are some of the last people I could imagine doing that)

WCsweet<3 08-30-2009 05:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by annabella (Post 1841329)
I've had a PNM PM me about a specific school and sign it with her name. Based on that+the question she asked, it would have been unavoidable for me to figure out who she was. I missed most of recruitment that year for an internship, but if I'd been at work week I would have likely figured it out without trying.

Totally not a crazy person—not about to Google someone within an inch of their life! But since these girls are so often newbies.... I don't think they always realize how easy it is to put a couple details together.

Ditto. I have been PMing with two PNMs who are attending my school. One signed with her whole name, the other didn't, however if I wanted to it would be pretty easy to figure out who she is during recruitment.

I think the important thing that PNMs need to check the person out before the PM. I mean if someone with posts that were random and crazy, I would be less likely to tell them anything about me. If it is someone who (I hate to use this sentence as this thread is currently doing a tangent on it and I don't want to be part of it) is more established and has a few posts that are on subject and aren't psychotic, then I feel as if the PNM should be able to PM the member.
i.e. A poster with 15 posts all in chit chat and 1 in a Greek related thread who mentions to attend their school vs. someone with 100 posts all over that has possibly put up their own story or is in the recruitment/Greek life thread talking about their school or other things of Greek life the PNM has questions on.

I'm not sure that came out right...

aopinthesky 08-30-2009 01:39 PM

Amen
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by aggieAXO (Post 1841346)
"I'd disagree with that. Shadokat has very established credibility with some of us.

But I'm not surprised by the reaction, as I've seen evidence in a few recent threads the last couple of days that the board is back in a pissing contest over who has enough posts to matter. "

ditto to this

and amen, although I am sure I am one of those who doesn't post enough to be considered reliable. You might be surprised what quiet people know.

UGAalum94 08-30-2009 01:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aopinthesky (Post 1841478)
and amen, although I am sure I am one of those who doesn't post enough to be considered reliable. You might be surprised what quiet people know.

Well, right, but how would other people know it if you didn't offer any evidence or support? It's not as if we know you in real life.

aopinthesky 08-30-2009 02:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by UGAalum94 (Post 1841482)
Well, right, but how would other people know it if you didn't offer any evidence or support? It's not as if we know you in real life.


You are right, you wouldn't know. I just don't feel the need to parrot what 25 people in a thread have already said. Doesn't mean that GCers should dismiss what I (or anyone) say when I do post.

UGAalum94 08-30-2009 03:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aopinthesky (Post 1841502)
You are right, you wouldn't know. I just don't feel the need to parrot what 25 people in a thread have already said. Doesn't mean that GCers should dismiss what I (or anyone) say when I do post.

Absolutely, but it seems to me that you are going to have to offer a little evidence for your claims when you do make them.

For example, and this is totally made up, "I can remember in 2005, when we had a user who posted her story here and then was cut by two chapters when users here found out who she was and then reported to their chapters" to me has a lot more credibility than just saying, "people should stop stalking on facebook" or whatever.

I don't just automatically discount people's posts based on post count, but I either recognize who you are and remember what your background is based on that, or I'm limited to just the information that you express at that moment.

And posts that just parrot other posts don't mean much anyway, unless, of course, you're adding addition evidence. "Yes, we did it the same way at my campus" can actually be an important post.

shadokat 09-01-2009 02:49 PM

I hadn't intended to say anything else on this thread, because I could personally give a rat's behind if UGA or KSU believe a word I say. It's laughable to me that people come crawling out of the woodwork to bash on someone who is voicing their viewpoint, and THEN tell them they aren't credible because they don't have 5,000 posts in 2 years.

My point was that within the last several years, what used to be a forum that told recruitment stories at all sorts of universities, large and small, has become a forum where PNMs hide under the guise of the flavors of Bath and Body Works scents and hope nobody figures out their university or the sororities, because SOMEONE ultimately may come out and spill the beans about who/where they are, and then they could be royally screwed in their recruitment pursuits.

I have had several PNMs PM over the past couple of years asking me recruitment related questions, and I have advised many of them not to post their stories until after they were finished because some folks on here tend to be a bit overzealous on recruitment threads.

Call me incredible, call me a bitch b/c I say I think people can and will stalk someone based on a couple of details, but you can't deny the fact that girls aren't posting their stories anymore in the record numbers that they used to, and the reason isn't because there aren't as many PNMs here. So if those of you who have large post counts discount my theory, feel free to add your theory, and have a discussion about why this is happening instead of a shit throwing contest picking at someone's character.

ComradesTrue 09-01-2009 03:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shadokat (Post 1842046)
I hadn't intended to say anything else on this thread, because I could personally give a rat's behind if UGA or KSU believe a word I say. It's laughable to me that people come crawling out of the woodwork to bash on someone who is voicing their viewpoint, and THEN tell them they aren't credible because they don't have 5,000 posts in 2 years.

My point was that within the last several years, what used to be a forum that told recruitment stories at all sorts of universities, large and small, has become a forum where PNMs hide under the guise of the flavors of Bath and Body Works scents and hope nobody figures out their university or the sororities, because SOMEONE ultimately may come out and spill the beans about who/where they are, and then they could be royally screwed in their recruitment pursuits.

I have had several PNMs PM over the past couple of years asking me recruitment related questions, and I have advised many of them not to post their stories until after they were finished because some folks on here tend to be a bit overzealous on recruitment threads.

Call me incredible, call me a bitch b/c I say I think people can and will stalk someone based on a couple of details, but you can't deny the fact that girls aren't posting their stories anymore in the record numbers that they used to, and the reason isn't because there aren't as many PNMs here. So if those of you who have large post counts discount my theory, feel free to add your theory, and have a discussion about why this is happening instead of a shit throwing contest picking at someone's character.

Okay, I have a relatively small number of posts, however, I am on this site daily and read virtually all the Greek related threads. (i.e. not so many in the chit-chat forum).

I honestly have no idea if members of GC are stalking, harrassing or other. However, I do think that it is very realistic to expect that actives are reading these boards and when women post live or semi-live stories it can be easy to figure out the school. It can also be easy to figure out some of the chapters and even the PNM based on description, user name etc.

My thought as to why fewer PNMs are posting their stories has to do more with not wanting to be discovered by an active. By that I mean that when PollyPNM has a user name like "Kate1214" that it is likely that her name is Kate with a birthday of 12/14. Many of them just have not chosen creative/ambiguous names. Easy to figure out. If the poster is uppity, disparaging of chapters, etc, then actives at that school could cut her for such comments. All the advice that I have seen over the past 3 summers/recruitment seasons have cautioned the PNMs for this.

Are there GC users who do track down PNMs to find out their rush? Possibly, but I really have no idea. I don't think this has to do with the fewer stories, though. I think most PNMs (I have recommended this site to dozens of them) are heeding advice to keep a low profile and use discretion.

Just 2 cents from someone who reads more than she types.

KSUViolet06 09-01-2009 03:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blondie93 (Post 1842047)
Okay, I have a relatively small number of posts, however, I am on this site daily and read virtually all the Greek related threads. (i.e. not so many in the chit-chat forum).

I honestly have no idea if members of GC are stalking, harrassing or other. However, I do think that it is very realistic to expect that actives are reading these boards and when women post live or semi-live stories it can be easy to figure out the school. It can also be easy to figure out some of the chapters and even the PNM based on description, user name etc.


This.




shadokat 09-01-2009 03:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blondie93 (Post 1842047)
However, I do think that it is very realistic to expect that actives are reading these boards and when women post live or semi-live stories it can be easy to figure out the school. It can also be easy to figure out some of the chapters and even the PNM based on description, user name etc.

My thought as to why fewer PNMs are posting their stories has to do more with not wanting to be discovered by an active. By that I mean that when PollyPNM has a user name like "Kate1214" that it is likely that her name is Kate with a birthday of 12/14. Many of them just have not chosen creative/ambiguous names. Easy to figure out. If the poster is uppity, disparaging of chapters, etc, then actives at that school could cut her for such comments. All the advice that I have seen over the past 3 summers/recruitment seasons have cautioned the PNMs for this.

Blondie, post count doesn't matter :) I agree with what you're saying here, and it's a good thought. Why is it that members on this board feel the need to say "hey kate1214, i know what school you're at!". PNM or not, I find that sorta creepy. Why do people have to go there with a PNM, instead of just sitting back and letting her tell her story?


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