I am watching the show right now. It is the one where Rose is dating the midget/"little person" and the short jokes keep making Blanche and Dorothy uptight.

Blanche - "I'm the biggest slut"


Dorothy: I'd kill Gloria if she wrote a book about my sexual life.
Sophia: You'd kill your sister over a pamphlet?
Dorothy: Shut up Ma!


Blanche: I treat my body like a temple.
Sophia: Yeah, open to everyone, day or night!


Sophia: I can't believe I have a daughter who threw a priest out the door!
Dorothy: Ma, you have relatives that throw priests out of windows!!


Blanche: I can't believe you said that! Oh if I weren't a lady I'd deck you.
Dorothy: You try and I'll have you on your back so fast you'll think you're out on a date.


Blanche: Oh girls... I'm just in ecstasy! My body is tingling all over! You will never guess what just happened!
Sophia: We know what happened! Let us just guess what part of the Middle East he's from!

"SHRIMP?"

Blanche and Dorothy come through the kitchen door with a takeout pizza ...

Blanche: We brought dinner!

Rose: Whadja get?

Dorothy: A bucket of chicken. I hope you like it extra flat and crispy.

I love the episode where Blanche dates a guy who's been off the market for a long time and she's trying everything in her power to "land him", but he rebuffs her advances. Then she finds out he had been reading up on what modern women want, feminism, women's lib and all the rest and is acting accordingly.

Guy: I thought women wanted to be treated as equals.

Blanche: Equals? No, honey, I don't want to be your equal. I want to be treated much better than you!

From the Henny Penny episode, when they're singing the musical number:

R: Help! Disaster is near

B: HEEEEEELP! We're trembling with fear!

D: help. the outlook is drear.

:D

it's hilarious when Dorothy gives "The Look".

please don't quote me lol
 

I'm watching the one today when Ham Lushbaugh comes to visit Blanche after a number of years and he has gained a considerable amount of weight.

Blanche: Ham, just LOOK at you!

Sophia: what else can we look at, the man is covering half the pictures on our WALL!

The girls do a murder-mystery weekend ...

Dorothy: I think I see now how it happened—last evening, at dinner, when Miss McGlinn saw Blanche give Kendall Nesbitt her key, she was furious. She dropped a steak knife into her purse....

Sophia: Big deal. I took a whole place setting.

Dorothy: Not NOW, Ma!

Same episode:

Dorothy: "Statistics say that patricide is overwhelmingly a male crime. Although daughters frequently murder their mothers!"

Or when she's demonstrating how the victim's throat was slit - on Sophia.

Sophia: "Not part of the show, people! Not part of the show!"

Same episode:

Rose: The butler did it!

Mat're D: I'm the mat're d (however you spell that)

Rose: The mat're d did it!

Detective: St. Olaf?

He's gay as a picnic basket.

I use that line ALL the time!

Lol...what episode is that from??

Poor CoCo. Cut after the first episode.

Sophia basks in the afterglow with her boyfriend Tony ...

Tony: You're good. Where'd a nice Sicilian girl like you learn to do things like that?

Sophia: I live with a slut.