So you can't leave 10 and 12 your year old kids in White Plains alone for any length of time or it's child endangerment?

That seems weird to me. I know that it's kind of normal for parents to be paranoid about their own kids these days, but I don't think there's really the criminal data to back it up. And my mom would probably have let me be alone for some length of time at that age, like in a you can look around at stuff and we'll meet back here in 30 minutes kind of way. Granted, she wouldn't have fake abandoned me from the car, but the charges don't seem to be a result of psychological abuse from the threat, but instead seem to reflect the idea that leaving a kid in White Plains business district is in itself illegal.

Weird.

During the southern cal wildfires of 2007, my kids and I were all home. We were lucky- our home was safe, and we were in no danger. I took my 2 boys out shopping, and my younger one aka, "Thing 2" was being a real jerk, answering back, etc on the drive home. He was 9 at the time. Well, a block from home, I let him out of the car, and told him to walk. He met me at home, less than 5 minutes later. He had run the whole way, and two people had offered him to get him help, thinking that he was running away from a fire! Thing 2 has not misbehaved in the car since, and I have not put him out of the car either!

I cannot remember a spanking since I was about 2-3 years old, but THE LOOK was alive and well in our house. We were asked, "What would you do if you had a child who acted like you?" and I would think, "I'd spank them real good!" I think the furtherest my parents had to go by the time we were in middle school was a very stiff squeeze on the shoulder.

If parents would just do their jobs before the kids enter school, they wouldn't be leaving them on the side on the road. So many teachers complain that more of their day is spent discipling their students rather than teaching them to NOT ignore them. I'm not saying to beat the kids (there's a place on the human body for swatting), but for everybody's sake, they need to learn discipline.

nikki1920, sounds like you have it all together with lilnikki - good work!

My kids are generally good kids. They were disciplined early on. Their teachers always talk about what nice kids they are. In middle school, they especially rave about my son being such a nice, polite boy as if those are a rare thing in middle school. They are good students, good kids. There are still times that they push MY buttons and I have to lay down the law. They're teenagers for crying out loud. They're siblings. They pick on each other and bicker. They bickered and picked at each other through my birthday dinner out with them. The same week, one of them texted me from their dad's house complaining about stuff the other one was doing. Then the other one texted me. I told them to tell their dad, since they were at his house. As far as I was concerned, this was his issue to deal with but it turned out he wasn't home. I called them, said to put me on speaker phone so they could both hear. I reamed them out for constantly picking on each other and told them to work it out because they were the only siblings they were ever going to have and I was sick of them acting like this. I really yelled, first time I had to in a long time. Even good kids have their moments of being total brats whose necks you want to wring.

It does seem ridiculous that it's child endangerment to leave two kids at ages 10 and 12 alone in a public place. At age 12, our kids all go to Cedar Point for an all day trip and are allowed to roam around on their own, checking in for lunch and a snack break occasionally. They're fine.

Yes, when she realized the two kids had separated, and the 10 year old was out there alone, she should have turned right around to get that one. But, it's not child endangerment, it's a lapse of judgment for a little bit. I think removing these kids from the home is an extreme measure.

There are a lot of situations where we, as parents, don't always make the best decision. We are human. There was an age with my son where I really struggled when we went places that didn't have "family" bathrooms. He was definitely too old to be going in the ladies room and I was really worried about sending him to a bathroom for men alone. When I had to go to the bathroom, I would worry while in there that he was standing outside the bathroom by himself. But, I made judgment calls, based on necessity. She made a poor judgment call this time, but she's hardly abusive or neglectful. Is it child endangerment when kids get dropped off at the movies? When they walk home from school? When they go to a park on their own? When they are outside riding their bikes? Seriously?

Has anyone asked the question of WHY the 12 year old left the 10 year old behind?

Not really. They're kids, siblings, who had just been kicked out of the car. I'm sure neither was excited at all about spending time with the other.

I wish the Goblin King really would take them away. Right now.

Mom had them doing a team building activity...and they failed.

When I was a kid if we were being slow getting ready, my mom would say she would leave us...she did once or twice, but she only went around the block to let us get the point! It worked!

Discipline
 

Many years ago, we were dining in a nice restaurant with our two sons who were about 12 and 10. They always behaved well in restaurants because they loved eating out and knew that the only way they could go the next time, was to behave this time.

There was a family sitting at the next table with two boys a little younger than ours. The boys were just terrible. They yelled and were so disruptive. Then they began running through the restaurant forcing the waiters carrying heavy trays laden with hot food to have to dodge them.

I could picture an incident where one of the waiters dropped his tray and burned one or both of the boys and I vowed that I would be a witness for the restaurant when the parents sued!

I gave the mother the "look" that my mother used to give me if I ever (rarely) misbehaved. Her reaction was to shrug her shoulders and grimace as though there was nothing she could do about her childrens' reprehensible behavior. It was not the fault of these poor kids. The inmates ran that asylum. I wonder what happened to them now that they are grown.

Parents do not their children any favors by bringing them into the world and then throwing them out into society for the rest of us to deal with. There is no owner's manual but there are books and parenting classes and friends and family if a parent doesn't know how to gain control of his or her child while there is still time to mold him or her into a civilized, productive member of society.

So "mommy dearest" is a high powered lawyer. Big deal. She is a total failure as a parent, the most important job she will ever have. How sad.

Paula M.
Sigma Delta Tau
Patrae Multi Spes Una
One Hope of Many People

Save the histrionics -- a total failure as a parent she is not.

Paluam, I so understand you! I had the wonderful opportunity to be in a restaurant when a little boy started to really act up. His father spoke to him once, and the second time, the fther marched him out of the restaurant, and we could see Daddy scold Bad Son outside.

Eventually, they both came back in, and the little boy stopped at all the tables near their table and said, "I'm sorry I ruined your dinner."

I happened to run into the father as we were leaving, and told him that there needs to be more fathers like him. He thanked me and said that if he didn't follow up on what he had told his son what he was going to do, the son would never learn to listen to him.

I wanted to applaud!

My nephew is the typical 4 year old boy. There are times when he acts up and he definitely gets punished for it. When he's good, he's really good and polite. I think sometimes it's just in their genes. My brother apparently was a terror when he was younger. Everyone says this is his payback.

You're going a tad strong there with the "total failure" talk, aren't you? I mean, at most, she may have made a poor decision here. But to call her a "total failure" is ridiculous and exaggerated, at best.

Discipline
 

What a great father and what a lucky little boy.

It only takes a moment for a predator to pick up a child out on the street. Why would anyone think this woman was a good mother for placing her children in that position? When she learned the 10 year old was missing, she seemed to realize something terrible could have happened to her child. If she were so wonderful, she would not have placed her daughter in danger. To me that is failing your child.