I dont think the argument started because of me pressing for answers. When people said it was private information I said okay and accepted whatever advice was given. The issue started when you and OTW started blaming me for a personal decision I made completely unrelated to the original question.

So although hostility on this board can stem from a poster consistently nagging for answers, just a reminder that it can also come about from personal attacks (which was the case in my thread).

Which is exactly what the NPC women in this thread have said - they will address the PNMs issues, to a point.

My post was to point out that, while the OP may not like the *type* of responses given, at least y'all respond, because it does not happen for every group / org.

I think you are misunderstanding me. To a point, I like the way NPHC handles this situation. I think we could learn from NPHC GCers policy not to entertain these questions with a small change. We should respond then close the thread. Stop the drama before it starts.

If it was completely unrelated, you shouldn't have offered it up to begin with.

We can only answer questions from what people post on here. That goes both ways. Sometimes people don't say enough and get either a better or worse response than they should. Sometimes people say too much and the same thing happens. In your case, you should have just said that you were wondering about member selection, and left it at that without talking about turning down the pref invite. When people say something's private, let it GO. We disclose an awful lot on here (sometimes even too much for my taste, and I never thought I'd say that) and to have a PNM or anyone else keep nagging and saying what we've given isn't enough, doesn't exactly engender warm feelings.

The point is, PNMs come here to ask questions and look for advice. I think we all understand that they don't completely comprehend the details of sorority life. This is why they ask the questions of the people who do know and understand what sorority life is all about.

So when they ask, and they don't fully understand the answer, or they don't hear what they want to, they ask the same question in a different way, or say "No, you don't get it." And in some cases, they provide very little detail concerning their situation, they receive answers based on those basic questions, and then they get mad because we're "judging" them. If you don't want to provide details, that's fine. But don't get mad when people answer you based on limited information.

And it doesn't just happen with PNMs. There was this thread not too long ago...

http://greekchat.com/gcforums/showthread.php?t=102329

...where a new member was wondering why she wasn't bonding with her sisters. She said that she doesn't go to a lot of events, and she never goes to mixers and formals and usually makes other plans on those nights. People here gave her good advice about making an effort to hang out and go to social functions, and then she flipped out saying she couldn't because of a medical condition.

Basically, if you're looking for advice from knowledgeable people, you have to be willing to accept what they tell you... even if it's not what you want to hear. Because chances are, we're not lying to you. And if that was the case, this site probably wouldn't have lasted as long as it has.

Hey, I love a good joke. The Chuck Norris thread is an alltime favorite.

In this case, the OP wasn't looking for wisecracks and jokes.

Oh, I got it. All I was saying is that we stop the drama before it even has a chance to start because that is where the thread usually ends up - too much drama!:p

Yes, where are these threads where NPC members are gleefully discussing cutting pnms for not being thin/rich enough? And are these mysterious GCers established posters, or trolls looking for trouble? I have somehow missed these threads . . .

There aren't any, because that wasn't in my message. I said that there are constant threads where GC members mention how wrong it is for NPC members to make superficial cuts, start rumors about other chapters, for PNMs to act like chapters are beneath them, etc. Essentially, being "mean girls". I am saying that the only differences between those women that nearly all GC members (including me!) are criticizing, and the select GC posters that post constant rude posts to everybody on this site, are purely situational. The attitude, however, is definitely the same exclusive, rude just to be rude, pretentious and insecure "mean girl" phenomenon. And the excuses, "Just deal with it" are the same that both parties would make. Once again, I don't necessarily think this is an unfair or difficult point to make.

And before somebody tells me to just leave GC, they are missing the point because 95% of the women here make very enjoyable posts, many without "sugarcoating" or "blowing sunshine up somebodies ass" (which I think is also wrong). And before somebody misconstrues my post as ludicrous, I think that most of the population understands what I am trying to say, so at this point I'm just starting to assume that people don't want to understand what I am saying.

Not to toot my own horn, but I'd like to think I've mastered the art of being honest with PNMs without being an outright bitch to them.

However, I feel like if a PNM is going to dish out rudeness, I can do that too.

and

Thank you. :)

Yes, I’ve noticed a few snarky comments from your end as of late. I only notice because other people will point it out. I haven’t been on this site too long, but I know that for you to be “rude” is rare.

Need advice? Ask KSUviolet06. She’ll be as nice as possible until she just can’t take your crap anymore.

:)

Toot away, I agree with you completely. I think you are very fair. And if a PNM is rude, then I understand it's natural for most to strike back. But I feel that the women I'm talking about will find any opportunity to act rude, many times not even to PNMs or Helicopter Moms.

[QUOTE=KSUViolet06;1777378][COLOR="Magenta"]Not to toot my own horn, but I'd like to think I've mastered the art of being honest with PNMs without being an outright bitch to them.




you are one of the best!:)