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My sneezes sound dying monkeys.
If I hadn't said it already, last week I puked so much I popped a blood vessel. |
Disclaimer: This thread is NOT rated PG 13
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So, a friend of mine send me a link for me to visit. Ok, let me set this up . . . I just got done listening to some Justice and I was blaring it up. My computer at work was hooked up to a nice Bosse Speakers with nice subwoofer.
Well, my friend usually send me some funny links and didn't thing anything. Little did I know that it was a link to a porn style youtube, straight to the action. I think the whole office herd moaning and groaning from my office and thought that I was getting busy with some girl. |
This is no longer snot coming out of my nose, its brain fluid.
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I need a pat on the back for making it through this thread. Seriously, I'm the most squeamish person and a bit of a priss too but it's actually pretty funny.
Here's my version of TMI...my gynecologist looks like Michael McDonald (of the Doobie Brothers). I love my gynecologist but I can't help but lay there with my feet in the air, look down and think, "Takin' it to the streets!" |
^^^hahaha
my TMI that I felt the need to share: The athlete's foot is gone. Jock itch is steal healing. The cruex burns less in the morning for some reason. Burns at night though. It's like a dupont lab right next to my nut sack. |
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My shoes stink so much that I was embarrassed at work when I realized that smell was me. I can't really afford new flats, but desperate times, man! |
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Just came out of the toilet. I think I found the WMD Bush was looking for in Iraq.
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SHIT!
Shit! Shit on the walls, shit on the floor, shit on the bed, shit ALL over him! :eek: I did not want him to touch me, hell I didn't even want to put him in my bathtub. Is it wrong that I just wanted to take him outside and hose his little ass off with the garden hose? He is, btw, my 1 yr old. I feel horrible for feeling this way(not really) but it is, after all, someone elses SHIT! I am not normally squeamish (sp?) but nothing in my yrs of babysitting and spending time with children could have prepared me for this enormous mess. ICK!!! And no, he is still not quite ready to potty train despite his new feeling of not wanting to keep the poop in his pants. :(
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I don't know how to break this to you - but potty training will not eliminate your need to deal with, um, poop. Best to get over your squemishness now - if it's warm enough, hose him off outside , but if it is not, your best course of action is to put him in the tub, get HIM clean, then scrub the tub and fill it with warm water and bleach. Let it soak and then rinse. Don't be too proud to use latex gloves if need be - I buy 'em to deal with dog poop now, but back in the day I found them handy for dealing with my 2 (15 months apart) boys, including the one who went through a dada phase in which he used poop as an art medium. :o
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Man....I still have spray my sac with that shit. It's in a red can with the amle circle arrow symbol, which is symbol talk for "this will burn your nuts." It's clearing up. And it's what I get for wear boxer-briefs to a work-out place that doesn't have showers, but goddamn.
Jock itch sucks. |
The roommate who pees on the toilet is gone! Every single time I walked into my bathroom there was urine on the seat. EVERY SINGLE TIME. And apparently she moved out. YAY!
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I need to wipe better. I just scratched my ass and now I feel shit in my boxers. Uncomfortable feeling.
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