Helicopter moms.
Clinging vine daughters.
Legacies.
Rush.

You do the math.

Silence period has always stymied me, but then my brain simply has a hard time wrapping itself around letting someone else influence one's decisions.

Last year when my daughter went through recruitment at Ole Miss, she had three alumnae from three different chapters calling her daily to see where she stood. These same ladies were also calling me each day "checking in". All three of these ladies were very involved with their local chapters. (two of them were in town advising in their sororities' house) Both my daughter and I were very afraid that she would get cut from chapters if she didn't tell these ladies that their chapter was her "favorite chapter". On one hand it was reassuring for us to know she was still in the running, but on the other hand, she was very scared of saying the wrong thing and hurting feelings! After skit, she finally broke down and told one of the ladies that another sorority was her favorite. We will never know for sure if she was cut from that chapter that night because of what she reveled to that Alum, or if the actives just didn't have her high enough on their list.

Personally, they added so much extra pressure! This year, it will be good for the alumnae to be held to silent standards as well! The actives all followed the rules, it was the Alumnae who stepped out of bounds. (at least in my opinion)

All you moms out there, be very careful what you say to chapter alumnae if they try contacting you. If you say the wrong thing, it could hurt your daughters recruitment!

I'm sorry, I can't find a nice way to say this. Those alumnae are just plain f'ing psycho.

I'm going to repeat a post I made in MC: one of my college friends (from another sorority) has a daughter going thru rush this fall and asked for advice for the daughter from about two dozen of her friends, some her sorority sisters, some in other groups. EVERY SINGLE PERSON who replied said that what was most important was that daughter follow her heart and choose where she felt most comfortable. Legacy? It would be nice, but not if she's not comfortable. Would I like her as my sister? Yes, she's a lovely girl, but not if the chapter's not right for her.

How pathetic and empty are these women's lives that they feel the need to bully others into, when it comes down to it, who they should choose as friends? This is a total travesty of what Greek life and sisterhood is supposed to be about. Those women should have their pins pulled. I don't care how much time or money they put into their organization, they're rotten members. Of their orgs, and of NPC in general.

Persistent Alums...
 

To Heart to Heart: "...she finally broke down and told one of the ladies that another sorority was her favorite. We will never know for sure if she was cut from that chapter that night because of what she reveled to that Alum, or if the actives just didn't have her high enough on their list. "

Not to diminish your daughters experience -- but given the competitive nature of OM Rush -- those Alums were likely focused on helping their chapter make quota. Let's be honest. Your daughter wasn't sold on that chapter who cut her. And her being honest allowed another PNM on the list who may not have gotten there otherwise. I'd call that a good outcome. The only thing your daughter sacrificed was bragging-rights for hitting the top-tier lottery. These days that's likely harder and harder to achieve. She can only accept one. The girls I fret about are the ones that OM Alums don't pursue and pester.

If the only problem your daughter had during rush was being "pressured" by pushy Alums -- then she must have had a great rush. Your complaints sound suspiciously like bragging. Which is a bit off-putting. I read your comments from last year. More of the same.

Ole Miss rush is always the one to watch. It also happens to be the most civil vis-a-vis other SEC recruitments. I'm sure this year will be no exception.

QFP

:confused: Your post was confusing in general to me -- though I was wondering, why do you think alums of any chapter at Ole Miss would be worried about making quota?

I don't think that would be the likely motivation.

I've known of some nosey alum moms who text their daughters' friends all during recruitment week, and then spread their "intel" around.

Just a really bad idea -- foremost for the girls, and also in terms of risk for the alum's respective chapter.

About the best characterization I've read about Ole Miss and the involvement of some alumnae and some mothers in what goes on.

I don't buy the trying to help make sure they make quota either -- she have any in the rfm era had that problem let alone at this school and certainly not with 1,500+ lovely young women who are interested in becoming part of the sisterhood...

Interesting comment.... "civil" is certainly not one of the adjectives that I have ever heard used applied to Ole Miss recruitment!

At the risk of giving away too much personal information, I have to say that from where I come from.... Them's fightin' words.

How in the world can you think that by my exposing the dirty tactics of alumnae that I am bragging??? It's not okay for the actives to contact the girls, and it shouldn't be allowed for active alumnae to do the same. It made us both extremely uncomfortable. Judging from the necessity of the new rules this year, I'm thinking I'm not the only one who had this experience last year.

I'm just a mom who had a ringside seat last year to the experiences of a freshman OOS PNM. This year I have been treated to another ringside seat to the experiences of a sophomore on the other side of recruitment. You can take my advice or leave it, but I do have a considerable amount of in site into the Ole Miss recruitment experience!

I've said it before and I'll say it again: Ole Miss does not have a bad sorority! Even ADPi who just recolonized last year ended up with an amazing group of women! My daughter has friends in every house and has yet to encounter a girl who is unhappy! She doesn't buy into the tier system and neither do I.

I sincerely apologize if I have rubbed you the wrong way! Yes, my daughter had a very successful recruitment. She was a very happy girl on bid day. She was also in the grove on adpi's bid day cheering on her friends who experienced the devastating heartbreak of being released from formal recruitment. We are not bad people who go around bragging! However, as a mom who is proud of her daughter, from time to time I might get a little carried away in highlighting her accomplishments. I am sorry if I offended you.

Bottom line: it's about time somebody reeled in the over zealous active alumnae!

The poster who addressed you likes to come around to the Ole Miss rush thread every year (like Punxsutawney Phil) and tell us all Why We're Doing It Wrong.

After sleeping on it, I need to clarify one thing. The Ole Miss alumnae are every bit as incredible as the active members. They honestly love and care for their houses and the girls in them (current and future). I might have portrayed them a little too harsh! I think these ladies work harder than the active girls do and for that I thank them! Throughout the year they provide loving support to the girls. Even as my daughter was going through recruitment, they were there to calm her.

So to all the ladies I have just offended, a big ole I'm sorry!

I still agree with the new silence rules, but have to admit you ladies are incredible. A great example is greekchats very own Mary Poppins. She is there throughout the year with incredible advice, but has gone silent since last Sunday. Props to all the Mary Poppins out there.

You did nothing wrong and have nothing to apologize for. You responded factually to a statement that had been raised concerning alumnae overstepping their bounds during rush at Mississippi. Those alumnae did overstep their bounds. They knew exactly that their actions would cause undue pressure on the PNMs they contacted-and if they didn't they are extremely insensitive. It could have, and may have, cost some girls a bid. Giddy can try to spin it however she (?) wants, but we know alumnae calling PNMs during recruitment is WRONG and is against the rules!

To Giddy: Had the alums not contacted H2H daughter, and had she chosen to place that chapter low on her list and gotten the invitations she had hoped for, then the computer program would have moved another PNM up on that sorority's list. All their available slots would have been filled.

THIS is the only correct response.

I call bulls÷€t on this one. There is no shortage of quality young women at Ole Miss. If they had lost this one through normal means, there would have been a perfectly good girl on their flex list

Sounds to me like you are a participant in this hazing before the fact. And you should be ashamed of yourself. Adding this ridiculous level of pressure doesn't help and can certainly hurt. As has been mentioned before, 4 years later, sitting in an alumnae meeting there is no difference between the girl who pledged the house with a quota of 15 and NO PRESSURE and the ones who went through this abuse. So your system is NOT better.

Sorry, but........FOFLMAO!

Here's some unsolicited advice to all the moms who have daughters going through at OM, as well as to the PNMs: if you must answer an alum who's pestering you for details, just say that you're having a great rush and will tell them all about it when it's over. Actives have been known to play dirty as well by texting the PMN, asking which house she preffed 1st on her list. I know I'm opening a can of worms here, but it does happen. I would advise every PNM to put a lock on their phone where their roommate can't see any information texted to moms, etc. I told my daughter to tell her roommate and anyone else who asked that she couldn't remember which one she put first. It worked. Less is best. Word gets around campus way faster now due to texting.