I thought DubaiSis was reacting to what Giddy posted and perhaps also a comment that I made which was similar to Giddy's (in bold):

But I don't know for sure -- I may have misinterpreted.

Great article -- I must admit that I have never seen a chandelier in a tailgating tent!

Possibly. I'm on my phone (Internet is out at my house) and I hadn't noticed that post. Way easier to miss things on the phone.

Chandeliers (note the plural) have become de rigeuer. Are you coming to any Ole Miss home games?

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?f...type=3&theater

No, Ole Miss plays Bama @ Bama's home this year I think -- I've never been in Oxford on game day. But I'd like to -- maybe next year. The most elegant item at the tent where we hang is Armetale (with Pyrex a close second). ;)

Lovely young ladies!

Why thank you!

This is what I took offense to. Sorry I wasn't more clear. Yes, kindness is nice and should be something we aspire to, but sometimes the most kind thing you can do is be honest. And telling a girl that she is perfect and there is nothing wrong with her and it must have been a mistake is not helpful.

And while Giddy is probably saying I DIDN'T SAY THAT, I can tell you there are a lot of Moms out there saying this and rushees fully believing it. And kindness is the reason for these little white lies that keep these girls from understanding they are not 10 foot tall and bullet proof. Nor are they the prettiest girl to ever step foot in Ole Miss. Or the smartest. There is a realistic and supportive way to say that some people are just not going to appreciate your greatness. Much like holding a torch for the boyfriend who dumped you and moved on to another girl, the sorority that cut you is not worth any more of your time. Regardless of the reason, which is none of your business.

Don't boarding schools sometimes have legacy policies as well (i.e. dumber daughter of rich generous alumnus may get in over smarter daughter of nobody) and don't they sometimes have a "post-graduate" year - in effect a 13th grade - for students who aren't ready for college?

(Disclaimer: The sum total of my real-life boarding school experience is a HS classmate who went to Kiski Prep.)

The 1st weekend of College GameDay, ESPN ranked the best college tailgates -- with Ole Miss #1.
The grilling, the parties, the "landrush" to get a spot for your pop-up tent, the women dressed to the nines and the food (glorious food).
Actually, ESPN RE-aired this video segment from 2011 on 9/1/12 about the best in college tailgating: http://espn.go.com/video/clip?id=7192521

Not where I went. But it is Catholic and you know how the nuns were back in the day.

??? How is telling a girl, who has a low GPA, that her options may be limited, or that she was likely dropped by chapters due to her grades, not honest?

How is telling her that she may have been dropped for ANY NUMBER of reasons – but these reasons are SECRET (sshhh!!!) -- somehow more useful? Just letting a girl wonder what was “wrong” with her during a 20-minute party doesn’t seem like much of a life lesson, IMO, especially during a stressful week when her confidence could use a boost.



I didn't see any comments that would even remotely fit that characterization.

So, I'm just curious, what is helpful? I know as a mom, explaining the process to dd was actually a little tricky. Endorsing a process which is based on judging people (in both directions), during a 20-minute scramble, went against just about everything I taught regarding judging others and choosing friends. Just sayin’. I settled on an explanation of an imperfect (and often arbitrary) system that has opportunities and rewards on the other side (wherever that may be, and whatever she makes of it).

I do think it is helpful to keep the process in perspective – it is, after all, sorority rush, not a tour in Iraq. Chapters must release girls, and after a few 20 – 30 minute parties, releases are often made on objective criteria. Like grades.



Honestly, some of the rush-will-knock-you-down-a-peg-or-two sentiment here seems to sometimes border on schadenfreude.

Telling a girl "If you had a 2.5, that may be part of the reason you got dropped" = OK.

Telling a girl "If you had a 2.5, that is definitely why you got dropped" = Not OK. For all we know, the girl had B.O. and was seen giving all the cafeteria workers hummers. If you say "it IS because of your grades" then a girl tends to say "oh, my grades are the only thing wrong with me and I can pull them up and sail through rush next year" - when that is NOT always the case.

Telling a girl "XYZ sorority WILL drop you if you don't have a 3.5" = super turbo NOT OK. Membership selection is a confidential process.

Yes, when counseling disappointed PNMs who have a 2.5 GPA, absolutely remember to include appropriate advice and speculation regarding body odor and behavior with cafeteria employees.

And any other hyperbole that comes to mind.

:rolleyes:

You're completely missing the point.

It is INAPPROPRIATE to tell any woman a DEFINITIVE answer why she was released. WE DON'T KNOW IF WE WEREN'T THERE. Unless you are some sort of creepy alien who can see the women who are typing this/being typed about, you have no idea of their physical appearance, personality, or other things that it is kind of impossible to glean through a few lines of type.

We've had issues on here before with people saying "I can't imagine why my sorority didn't give you a bid!" They were then enlightened by a member of that chapter who actually met the poster in question.

Honestly, either you consider being sarcastic more important than understanding or you're just being willfully stupid. If you want to blow unlimited sunshine up the asses of women you've never met, this isn't the site for you.

With convocation being this Sunday at Ole Miss, I'm getting ready to go into "Lurker" mode while recruitment is going on. :)

However, I did want to first thank the ladies on GC for all of the advice that has been given regarding recruitment in general, and especially at Ole Miss. I've passed it on to my daughter and she is very grateful.

To those of you who have offered additional advice and assistance via PM, thank you VERY, VERY much.

I do want to say that as the weeks go on, my view on when recruitment at Ole Miss changes...frequently. LOL!

At first, I was disappointed that while my daughter went down to Ole Miss with all the sororities on equal footing in her mind, once she got there she had time to hear the "talk" about each sorority. (Obviously, as a mom, I want her decisions based on her opinions, not others. Although she assured me that they would be, no matter what she heard, I was still concerned.)

I am now happy again (another flip flop as I learn more) with the timing of recruitment. :)

Because now, as more time has passed, even though her conversations with the young ladies in sororities is limited, her exposure is not. Now, she has had more time to see and be around more individual girls in ALL of the sororities, and guess what?? No surprise to anyone here...it turns out that there are lovely ladies that she likes in ALL of the sororities, and once again, they are all on equal footing in her mind. (I should have never let it be of concern. She's an awesome young lady with a great head on her shoulders.)

At this point, she is head over heels in LOVE with Ole Miss, and cannot wait to be part of the Greek Life there! (Yeah!) She adores her gamma chis and is excited for recruitment to start.

So again, I just wanted to thank everyone, and I'll be back after recruitment.

THANK YOU!!