Dear Frienemy #1: You need a real job. All you know is school and you are on this infinite quest to be better than everyone else. It started when you transferred from a Top Tier school to a school that YOU perceived to be inferior. Then you pledged an honor fraternity (which you currently don't do ISHT for). Then you went to a top tier grad school for a Masters and now you're getting a PhD from another one. Yet and still, you have no goal to get a REAL JOB and now you want the elusive Post Doc from Harvard.

You stupid, vapid queer. YOUR line of work doesn't require a Post Doc -- nor is a Post Doc a REAL JOB. You just want to say you were at Harvard.

You only contact me when something is wrong -- never just to say hello or ask me how I am. And when you do ask me, it NEVER sounds sincere.

It's as though you were only really friends with me because I went to Georgetown. You are the ultimate name dropper.

Gah, how were we ever friends? You are such a user!

Warm wishes,
Senusret I

Dear Senusret,

This hurt me, just a little.

Sincerely,

Little32

To My Chain Smoking (illegal substance) Neighbors,
I don't know why you were allowed in my neighborhood because you are such horrible neighbors. The next time you feel the need to light up, I'mma feel the need to call the police!!!!

To the office lady who said you could do nothing about this,
Do better if you expect me to pay more. I'm tired of managements lack of judgement in regards to who stays here.

Dear unknown member of XYZ Sorority, Inc.,

It's good to have pride in your sorority, but do you have to paint your car in the sorority colors? On top of that, you have the sticker on your car, the license plate border and THE STATE ISSUED LICENSE PLATE!!!! I've bet you have the front plate, the (color) and (color) seats and the car rugs too.

I have family members and friends who are proud members of your sorority, but they do not have their cars color-coordinated. And I not the only one who is wondering about your car. Grandma Jitterbug has also seen your car and has mentioned it. So if Grandma is talking about how tacky it is, you know a whole lot of other people are. The next time I see your car at the parking lot of the shopping center where Curves is, your car may wind up on Funny Greek Stuff Around The World on Facebook.

Signed,
JB13, simple Delta

Dear Jitterbug:

PLEASE take that picture!!! You know FGS isn't as funny as it used to be. Your contribution would be like buttah....


Dear Salespeople at the job:

Take a moment and try to comprehend what's going on before you ask questions. TRY.... It's likely that you won't waste my time finding answers for you that you can see for yourself. I know you want to help your customers. TRY understanding the product and service you provide. Sheesh...


Dear Ohio State fans:

I am so looking forward to Saturday's game. I can't wait to see y'all tumble out of the top 10. *insert evil laugh*

Dear Sistergreek jojapeach,

It didn't dawn on me to take a picture of the car until today. I've seen the car several times. Next time that car is parked in front of T-Mobile, it's on! :)

JB13

LOLOL and when you post it please send me a note on FB...LOL!:D

Dear Soror DD,

I sure will let you know! But first I need to find you on FB! PM me and you can finally see the pictures we took at National Convention!

Soror JB13

...how many national championships, or even national championship appearances does Georgia have in the last 10 years?

go pet that ugly, overweight, slobbering mascot of yalls and sit down somewhere. :)

..and if we win this game, don't let me catch you nowhere near GC. it will not be pretty. I promise. :):)

Why didn't you just name the organization?

Dear Everybody on GC:

Please help me keep my job as a fundraiser and make a donation to our Help the Homeless Walkathon team: http://www.helpthehomelessdc.org/goto/DamienMinistries

If you're in the DC area, please be sure to click JOIN TEAM.

Thank you!
Senusret I

JB,

if that car is a ford ?taurus / tempo? then LAWDY i know what you're talking about. it has road-tripped to fayetteville, nc on occasion. LOL.

either way, please take a pic so we can all laugh.

:)

Dear Soror CT4,

I did not want to upset or shock any of the members of the sorority. But I can give you a hint. Go to the South Carolina Department of Motor Vehicles website. Find the specality tags. See which D9 greeks have tags. Rule out Delta and you'll get your answer. :)

No, the car is a Honda Prelude. But take a picture of the Ford too!

JB13

Jitterbug, I knew when I read your initial post this morning that you're talking about the AKAs. It's not like the woman has a picture of the AKA founders painted on her car in the nude.

AKAs, are y'all shocked or upset or just don't care?:)

I, for one, don't care. If I saw the car, it would probably make me shake my head just a little while smiling.