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 you have valid complaints. i cannot answer why your chapter did not invite back such a stellar young woman. i hope that she went on to have a good recruitment and did receive a bid. 
	perhaps this experience could be turned into a positive by sharing your thoughts with the appropriate officer of your sorority-at least make a request that all chapters acknowledge receipt of a rec. so that the alum. does not worry that it got lost in the mail. with the preprinted post cards most sororities have avaliable for order, all the recipient has to do is check the appropriate box , address the postcard , place a stamp on it and drop it in the mail.  | 
		
 First let me say that I agree with you 100% that alumnae need to be better informed by chapters, especially regarding PNMs that they write recs for. As far as I know, most of the PNMs that go through at UGA are stellar (like the girl you described). They also have recs (most of them). Some of them even have multiple ones. A sorortiy has to release a certain # of girls each round. With most girls having recs, they can't give them ALL the rec related courtesies that you describe. So alot of girls with recs get released, some of whom might be really great. It's the same issue with legacies. Legacies do receive certain courtesies (whatever your legacy policy says), but when there are so many legacies going through that a chapter could fill quota plus with legacies, you just can't keep them all. Because of this, alot of legacy ladies are released that might be very accomplished, smart, etc. Do you know if she got a bid to another sorority or is that also part of your vent (that they didn't let you know if ot where she did end up getting a bid)?  | 
		
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 she meant quota. if a house does not pledge quota, whether they are already over total or not, they may pledge girls until they reach quota. similarly, if a chapter pledges quota, but is still under campus total, they too may continue to pledge girls until they reach campus total. it can be very confusing!!  | 
		
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 I have to agree so much with what you have said here. My daughter was a 4 time legacy to my sorority. All except 1 were UGA members. She was cut after 2nd round. While I agree there were probably many legacies ,I still feel that they could have shown a little more interest in getting to know her. We are from out of state and I realize no one knew her in the chapter, but she had 3 family members before who gave so much to this sorority both in time and as alums financially. She dropped out of rush. Hoefully things will work out for her. By the way my sorority did not extend the courtesy of akknowleding the recs that were sent in for my daughter. Only 2 of the other house recs (she had 9 recs total) were aknowledged to my friends who sent them. 
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 I was house president of my UGA sorority and my sister was President. Both of which were on my daughters rec. The soroity took 40 minutes ( 20 each round) to decide that this legacy was not for them. I will think very hard as well before I write any more recs. 
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 In partial defense of the chapters, there were 1200+ pnms and frequently, the rec. acknowledgment will take the form of a post card after recruitment is over thanking you for the recommendation and letting you know where the girl ended up. 
	And please remember that not writing recommendation is more likely to harm the young woman than the chapter. So unless, you are trying to send the girls you know elsewhere, I'd be careful with that strategy.  | 
		
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 Sometimes there are girls that you wonder how they slipped through and got a bid and sometimes there are darling girls who don't get a bid. Unfortunatey, she's in the latter category.  | 
		
 Yes I guess you are right. I think it just may take awhile to get over the disappointment that I feel over my own sorority right know. It was great that my daughter was such a solid legacy, but that unfortunately that did her more harm than good. I believe that after round one she was cut from some houses due to the strong legacy she held elsewhere. All rec forms ask what Greek affiliations the PNM has. With 1300 girls I guess they assumed she would be partial to her legacy house and dropped her. 
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 I've made clear in other posts that I really think it's terrible when groups cut legacies. I've also said that if it happened to me and my theoretical legacy, I'd probably wash my hands of that chapter too (not that they could tell because I'm not that involved:o). So I'm very sympathetic to how you all feel.  
	And when I hear the stories of women who have given years of alumna service to a chapter and the group cuts the kid, I completely understand why the alumna would then help her daughter's chapter more than her own. But you just want to be careful that if your goal is to punish someone, rather than just refocus your efforts where they seem to matter, that you don't punish the wrong people.  | 
		
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 As far as the chapters go, under the new system, what incentive do they have to play fair with each other as far as sticking to their max recommended invite #?  | 
		
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 (I'm really thinking of the middle chapters who have been so traditionally solid who have much more at stake if they cut the wrong girls; they might find themselves having to snap because they had to release so many in previous rounds. I think I might rather keep more and forgo the possibility of QAs.) ETA: But if it's programmed in, I guess you can't.  | 
		
 I don't believe my goal is to punish anyone..not sure why that was interperted. I am disappointed..big difference. I could write my chapter a letter, but what purpose would that serve. It really is just water under the bridge now. It is over and done and there is no turning back. I know that whatever my daughter does greek or not that it will be ultimately the best for her. It will be what was meant to be for her. 
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