To my Father:

I think you have lost most if not all of what's left of your mind! Why do you continue to send emails to my mother? She DIVORCED you in 1975, when I was 1, I have seen the decree! But yet you continue to send her and me crazy as hell emails.
What in the HOLY CRAP BATMAN for?
This I do NOT understand! You have a wife, she's your 6th--yes I cannot stand her--if you just want someone to talk to, look over at her! Good God man, can you get a life?
Then these stupid as hell emails have to do with immigration! WFT!!!! Are you SMOKING now? Why do you have a problem with immigrants? What is your issue? Are people STILL confusing you for a Mexican? Is that the problem? Good God man, you're 65 years old, get over it! Tell them what you are and MOVE THE FU$%#@$#^@%K on! You're getting on my LAST nerve with this, "throw the immigrants out, my parents are legal aliens" yadda, yadda, yadda crap!
Fool, you parents emigrated--there is a big as HELL difference and IF you CANNOT tell the difference, GO BACK TO SCHOOL! DAYMN! I get so sick of that shit I cannot stand it! It makes me want to smack the crap outta you for days! Your parents came from a territory of the US fool! It makes them citizens and since YOUR dumb azz was BORN in NY, what in the WORLD do you think this makes you?
But then again, since you haven't paid taxes since I was 10 and haven't worked since I was 21, I don't know WHY I EXPECT you to do any differently! If you ARE such a CONCERNED American citizen, why don't you vote and hmmm...I dunno, PAY YOUR FREAKIN TAXES?
Although I love you, I think that you need more of a life than me! And I wonder why your oldest son is soooo much like you!
Just do me and MY mother a fav, keep your crazy political commentaries to yourself and YOUR wife (AKA--the stepmonster) and stop sending them to my Momma, o.k.
Love,
Your baby daughter, K

Dear Older Women Co-Workers:

I know you all hate me because I'm articulate, my face is always in the paper with white people because I'm smart. I know you all hate me because I don't sag, because I actually wear a belt, because even when I'm at work my SWAGG is still official, still on another level, still 100% ridiculous. I know you all hate me because your daughters start feigning every time they get a glimpse of me, because I don't care when you try to talk about the way I dress, I just laugh and let you talk.

Well I'm here to say that I understand why you would hate me. I wouldn't be able to stand myself either, but understand this..I'm on another level because I don't want to be your age working at a job like this one, where you have no benefits, no room for advancement, stuck in your same position for the rest of your life unless you decide to do something about and find a real job, better yet start a career.

Maybe you should look at me not because dressed to impressed no matter where I am, but rather look at the fact that my name and picture is always in the paper for something good. Maybe you should look at me and think, damn maybe I should do something with my life. Cause guess what, in Five years I'll be out of school, I'll be 23 going on 24 and I'll have a Degree in Architecture and be well on my way to making that real money, and in 10 who know's I might have a family and hopefully be teaching my son or daughter how to get out there in school and do exactly what I did, PURSUE MY DREAMS instead of staying in that Hell hole that you all call jobs.

P.S. Your daughters are only jockin me cause of the way I carry myself, it says so much about my character, and this SWAGG I got, well it speaks for itself.

Dont ask me to toss you a bone when I start makin dat money, CAUSE IT AINT HAPPENIN!!

And noticed I only addressed this to the Women because they are always the ones who have something to say, and you dont see any dudes workin here your age, we're all Teenagers or Managers, who are actually getting money

K.E.C

They need to know don't they!! One day they will recognize what it's all about

OMF All of that is hilarious to me

Okay, so this is soooo out of my character because I usually don't address hardcore GDIs, but I think I almost had a tear form when I read this...sounds like something I would have said as a kid....:)

Haha yea the people at that job just piss me off, but I'm tryin to stick with it for now, soon I'm gone be out of there and enjoyin my University Years

Dear Father:
Why in the heezy do you constantly send me crap about sending illegal immigrants to the BFE? Why do you always send me something that has a racial overtone? Why me? Why do I get this from you? Please tell me why? Do you not realize that two of your children are bi-racial? Do you not realize that when you send me this crap I really want to go to FL and smack the living crap outta you until my hand hurts and I get tired of hitting you? Do you not realize what it is that you are "unconsciously" saying to me?
Why do I get such "lovely" gifts from you? And then you wonder why you get no father's day cards, no birthday cards, and that I would put you in a nursing home if you couldn't take care of yourself? And you wonder why I really only call you every 3 months. What is the problem that you don't seem to "understand?"
Pops, you have some severe issues and some severe problems, so could you just get your S$#%@#$%T together and stop sending me this crap.
Your loving child,
Only grown child that talks to you.

Here we go again.....
 

Wow...especially since she's done it more than once...:D

Exactly.....lol