Heather: It's just like Hamlet said, "To thine own self be true."

Cher: Hamlet didn't say that.

Heather: I think I remember Hamlet accurately.

Cher: Well, I remember Mel Gibson accurately, and he didn't say that. That Polonius guy did.

License to kill gophers by the government of the United Nations. Man, free to kill gophers at will. To kill, you must know your enemy, and in this case my enemy is a varmint. And a varmint will never quit - ever. They're like the Viet Cong - Varmint Cong. So you have to fall back on superior intelligence and superior firepower. And that's all she wrote.

You know, a girl in my sorority, Tracy Marcinco got a perm once. We all tried to talk her out of it. Curls weren't a good look for her. She didn't have your bone structure.

Let's pick up the pace! Let's make the parties longer, let's make the skirts shorter, let's all go to hell in a fast car and keep it hot!

Whenever I'm in a room with a guy, no matter who it is--a date my dentist, anybody--I think, If we were the last two people on Earth, would I puke if he kissed me?

Oh please. That's like saying "he's not gay, he's in a fraternity!"

Call me sentimental, but the fish is coming with me....

You contemptible slug!

That boy is a P-I-G pig!

First Doctor: More apparatus please, nurse.
Nurse: Yes doctor.
First Doctor: Yes, the EEG, the BP monitor and the AVV, please. Second Doctor: And get the machine that goes 'Ping'!

It was our last weekend together, and we didn't feel like going to Fort Sumter and touring goddamn colonial homes. We wanted to go to the beach and meet boys and go to wild parties and dance.

"I don't DO that!"
"Yes, you do..!"
*giggle* "I know!"

I suppose it would be the acme of foolishness to inquire if you had a hairnet.

And last week I saw Cameron Diaz at Fred Segal, and I talked her out of buying this truly heinous angora sweater. Whoever said orange was the new pink was seriously disturbed.

When I was your age I never chased a boy or called a boy or sat in a parked car with a boy.