I'm not a witch, I'm your wife. But after what you just said, I'm not even sure I wanna be that anymore!

Grow up Heather. Bulimia is so 1987.

Life's a banquet, but most poor fools are starving to death.

Dogs and cats living together! Mass hysteria!

Is this a KISSING book?

wuv..... twue wuv.

If you are a rich lady, and I have boned you...Please meet me at the Nacho Cart. If you are a rich lady, and would like to be boned...Please meet me at the Nacho Cart.

If I'm not back in five minutes...just wait longer!

Here is someone who stood up.

Damn, I didn't know Nike made dresses.

-Rudey
--From the black chick flick, Love and Basketball.

In the land of the blind, the one eyed man is king.

a dream is a wish your heart makes

The point is, how do you know the Guarantee Fairy isn't a crazy glue sniffer? "Building model airplanes" says the little fairy, but we're not buying it. Next thing you know, there's money missing off the dresser and your daughter's knocked up, I seen it a hundred times.

"It's me taking the bull by the horns. It's a metaphor. But it really happened."

I carried a watermelon... I carried a watermelon?!?