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My cousin's FB post:
"GUD MORNIN FB FAM UHP EARLY DIS SUNDAY MORNIN THANKIN GOD FOR WAKIN ME UHP COULDNT BE MORE BLESSED GLADE I GOT DA ONES I LOVE N MI HEART BUT YALL HAVE A SAFE N BLESSED DEI IF YU GOIN TO CHRUCH PRAY FA ME PLZZ AND THNKZZ" All of her status updates are in all caps and this is one of the more readable ones. I will "GLADE-LY" continue to pray for her. |
It's like...she's trying to say something.
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Wasn't sure where it fit best, so I decided here. http://sphotos.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-...19207441_n.jpg
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It should have gone in another thread because I totally just lost. :o
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"Time to shine some light on the elephant in the room, so buckle up…. I recently was told “Walmart brand wears just like name brand” as I shared my baby clothes preferences. It was at that moment that I had a revelation… one that I’m sure may sting some of us, but sometimes life we require the sting to get the right remedy. Here goes: we, as a people, must STOP lying to ourselves to justify our current situations; the facades we build only keep us from pursuing what we truly want and crave in life. There is a reason that they make 1000 count sheet… because they feel so darn good! There’s a reason that people vacation in Maui instead of Myrtle Beach… it’s a more luxurious experience. And there IS a difference between Merona and Michael Kors… it’s called QUALITY. Now don’t get me wrong- by my own definition, I have far from arrived! I also have no quarrels with WallyWorld! The difference is I have put the ball into play to make sure that my family has a future full of CHOICES… one in which we can choose quality in ALL aspects of our lives. If you are like me, and ready to lay down your façade, inbox me! I’m ready to share with SERIOUS INDIVIDUALS how my husband and I are making sure that our unborn son can live a life of QUALITY!!!"
Not that there is any bad grammar in this but: 1) It's really long for a FB status 2) I don't think wearing clothes from Wal-Mart has any correlation with success. |
A status update that a bunch of my friends commented on:
"So, I wanna go camping. Whose in?" Sigh. Btw.. Why does Facebook now show me status updates of people that I don't know, just because some of my friends know them and commented on their status? That's pretty frickin' annoying. I already can't stand reading half of my Facebook "friends'" grammatically incorrect updates.. Why do I now have to read those of strangers? |
Posting in the super-secret group for professors to vent about special snowflake students:
"Your “If my grade should be between C and C-, could you give me the C?” was a mute request as your final grade came in between C- and D+." I think she meant "moot". :( |
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http://a8.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphot...30348185_n.jpg With this caption:If I could wake on morning...ONE MORNING...to an xtain doing something...anything POSITIVE without wanting to collect cash or souls as a result!!! >.< Who's harrassing whom? Good thing he's not part of a cult based on hate.... |
*sigh* I am going to pray for him. Even if he doesn't know me, that is the best possible way I can think to piss this sucker off.
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Posted on a friend's status:
im packinq 2 qo 2 my dads fer a month . packinqs so Borinq ! Doesn't it take longer to spell this shit wrong? Sheesh. |
Hardest part of my day was deciding which bathing suit to where : )
Maybe you shouldn't have skipped class to go to the beach. |
I went to HS in a very small town, where most people either come back after college (or don't go at all), or still have parents who live there. There are two high schools and it's a HUGE DEAL about where you went to school.
A few years ago, someone started a "Fallen Alumni" group on FB. It's really more of an "Idiots' Reunion," though. The grammar and syntax violations are not indicative of one of the best schools in the nation. People are posted five and six times. Rumors about dead classmates are volleyed back and forth with wild abandon. My favorite was when someone joined the group and all of these people were like, "oh, he was such a good guy! I just saw him yesterday." And the guy replied, "Nah son I'm not dead I just joined FB late" |
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Helping babies live helps unborn women?
This chick needs ot have a seat. |
OH MAN.
From the "other" side of the family. One of my cousins posts a picture of dirty underwear. "I dnt know who panties these is but my cuz posted this pic and I had to share ughhhh! Cuz i know that hoe didn't take her panties off around NOBODY!! Call poison control bc no Dr. living can treat dat. That's some deadly shit. That hoe need to be exposed" :eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek: It turns out that one of her cousins replies, "It's from my dirty-ass baby momma." HOLD UP. If she was so nasty, why did you sleep with her in such a manner to make a baby? I'm so glad I see these people once every 5 years. |
I went to HS in a pretty big urban district, but people who went to my school don't EVER tend to leave the like 20 block radius of it, and like 30% of them go to college.
My 10 Year Reunion is coming up. I'm not going. However, the reunion group has an amazing amount of FAIL in it. Ex: The 3 most popular girls from my HS class didn't go to college and they all telemarket in the same building together and live on the same street. Yet, they're really excited for the reunion. Every other day, there is a post from one of them like: "ZOMG, sooo excited to see Katie and SUZIE. I luv u girls so much!!!!!!" Also, my reunion is at a public park, in the daytime. So everyone is planning to bring their kids. This has been an interesting opportunity to see who has kids and how many. Because everyone who never went to college has at least 3 at this point. One classmate who commented on the event like "Hey guys, can't come. Going through some shit wit ma babydaddy and won't be able to bring my 5 little angels." Forget the bsbydaddy part, the misspellings, etc. You have FIVE KIDS? Who has 5 kids at 10 years out of HS? Damn son. |
This isn't really grammar but uch:
My father has an ookabillion siblings (seriously, like almost Duggar-level). He inherited the house that they grew up in after my grandfather died. Over the past 23 years, he's put sooo much time and money in it. He's the one who pays taxes on it, the insurance (hellish in Florida), and all of the other stuff. My idiot cousins, of which there are a gizzbillion, seem to think it's like the effing Kennedy compound or something. I guess some of them are in their hometown now, and they're like, "we're at our family home." No, you're not. I'm sure I sound like a jerk but whatever. |
"you know movies so bad and tmi script you think ok i know this is gonna be porn just wait .. just wait .. oh this is BET"
huh? |
My friend posted this as a caption on a picture:
"Stormie after an egg breakfast with pieces of bacon.... Then PBS with his morning cartoons and a delooted bottle of oj. Sounds like an awesome start to the day!" And yes.. Her son's name is Storm. |
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Initial post: just broke up a fight at park place (a bar), i should be a security guard
Comment: they should hand you a metal lol The perfect combination of capitalization, punctuation, and correct word usage all rolled into one Facebook post! |
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A second person left this comment: Right!!!! Its like the word respect no longer excists And then 10 minutes later, commented again: Lol sorry let i leftt that commont on the wrong status but i guess it made a lil scence lol |
Not Facebook, but misspelled tattoos! They look very similar to some of the status updates posted here.
http://www.clickorlando.com/-/163723...z/-/index.html |
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One of my HS classmates has been sick. Her most recent post:
"I want to thank everyone for baring with me during these last few weeks..." I really hope that no one has been baring with her. :( |
A friend's status update:
Looking up vacations♥ I cant believe we have almost been married 1 year! Time has flown bye! |
bump
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Someone on Deadspin linked to a pro-Paterno Facebook group that includes some real gems:
They Needed AN Excape Goat ... This is the worst bunch of itty-its... |
One of my friends just had a baby. One of her friends wrote this on her wall:
"Yay!! Congrats on the new edition!! :) " Upon reading this, I immediately started singing 'Candy Girl' |
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Oh man I wish I could find the actual post again.
"WHY SHELBY COUNTY TRYING TO HIRE TEACHERS FROM OUT OF COUNTY WHEN WE HAVE HIGHLY QUALIFY TEACHERS LIKE MYSELF RIGHT HERE WHO CAN'T FIND WORK?" Seriously, "highly qualify?" Sorry babe, if you're the exemplar, can't blame them for going elsewhere. What are our children learning? :eek::eek: |
I'm thinking that's an autocorrect kind of typo? I'm making those more and more as I FB from my phone.
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Bump for spam.
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"Wearing my hat and boots. It's been to long since I've warn them."
I said "Have they been threatened recently?" |
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