Not grammar, but this ass-hat keeps posting that story with the girl in Missouri who murdered her neighbor who happens to have my last name and saying we're related. The first time, he actually had the kahunas to tag me. After Facebook took it down, he did it again without tagging me. Facebook took that down, but now that he put it up AGAIN (he apparently doesn't take a hint) but this time said "same last name" instead of my full name. I've reported it multiple times, but it's still there. What the m-fer fails to understand is that 1) it's my married name 2) it's my husband's step-father's name, not his biological father and 3) there is only one other person in this country with our last name that is directly related to us, and that is my husband's step brother. What a shit-head.

^^^Once, a girl was mad at me for some reason in college. Like a mature college senior, she tagged me in one of her photos as a very obese man drooling in his sleep a couch. :rolleyes:

The same person who had a facebook status that they checked into a jail via foursquare had one today that they checked into the Walmart bathroom. That's some Larry Craig using the Grindr or Blendr app to invite people to pardon his wide stance.

Why are these places foursquare locations?

People can make their own locations to check into. So, I could make "k_s' house" and it would show up as a place to check in for anyone who's around.

One of the Fanpages on my feed (for an actual legit company with over 25,000 fans) just posted a status about The Ides of March saying "Do you have a story where someone you trusted stabbed you in the back? Tell it below, but try not to use hurtful or bad language".SRSLY??? How can you possibly expect this to turn out well??:confused:

^^^I'm calling it now. People are gonna start telling stories and at least one person is gonna tag the person who did them dirty.

advice on a family issue: Keep thinkin and planing no worries! Never cut ur noise off to spight ur face. All things in do time. Everything is gonna come into play because God knows ur heart. I luv my family and ur protected by the blood of jesus. I want u to pray on it leave it with God and don't pick it back up again. That shows God that u have faith and he'll c u threw!

I wish you could see the travesty I'm witnessing RIGHT. NOW.

M's status: Pandora is playing me some good music tonight... Makes me want to get my grove on.

CG: Don't get lost in your grove.
D: get your grove on!!! :)
M: girl, im going to get lost in myself cus im just groving in my room. Who want to come and join me?
CG: I would love to get lost in your grove. :)
K: meeeee!!
M: bring some pop with you lol
CG: ‎#hilarious

I have seen this thread on the list ever since I started reading GC, but never read it. OH MY GOD. I was trying to read some of them to my husband, doing the best I could at translation, but just couldn't get it done.

I did have to unfriend someone (high school person I barely new even back then) because of some right-wing diatribe she was on. The rule is USA=free speech. DubaiSis Facebook page =/= free speech. And I have a cousin who is retarded but functional (it's a sad story stemming from child abuse but no need to get into that now) who I had to block because his posts were the most offensive pornographic things I'd ever seen. Can't unfriend him, duh, so I just had to make sure I never see his posts. But shouldn't his Dad be intervening to tell him that isn't cool?

Now, back to hilarity and obnoxiousness. I'll be on the lookout for some awesome ones.

Not a status, but a comment on a status:

"I no, there is to many fest this summer I want to go to"

My brain nearly imploded by the end of that short "sentence".

This is in a group I'm in (copy/pasted): "IF YOU COULD PICK A VERSION OF COLLINWOOD TO LIVE IN ...WITCH ONE WOULD YOU PICK ..????"

Also, if I see one more "of" where it should be a "have," I don't know how I'm going to hold my tongue. :p

Wow, then I probably shouldn't post this little gem I just came across..

One of my friends posted a link to a story about a little girl who wrote a letter about how she was going to run away. My friend commented:

"This looks like something I could have composed to my brothers myself circa 1992...however I'd of had no spelling mistakes."

:rolleyes:

This is why we need an emoticon of a head banging against a wall. Between helicopter moms, crazy PNMs and ridiculous grammar, how do we survive without one?

"You are bleeding because you want let God put His seed in you. Now get pregnant!"

I suspect that "want" really is "won't," but OMG THIS IS BEYOND.

-----

Disclaimer: I've noticed that my posts in this thread quote religious FB folks (usually family). By no way am I mocking Christianity. It just seems that my family members who are most into Jesus are the least into grammar.

WHO SAYS THESE THINGS, OMG?!?!?

I'm torn between laughing at your disclaimer (for good reasons), the typo, the weirdness, and the fact that they're saying God's getting that person pregnant.

brb :D:p

Not a status update, but a post I found on Michele Bachmann's FB page that had me SMH:

The white house gave The Muslim Brotherhood 1.5 billion in Egypt ,they vow to make the world a muslin state and kill jews and christian alike . They are know to be hamas . Can we continue with this guy in the white house any more WAKE UP AMERICA !!!!

Is that for real? If it is... :eek:

A muslin state? Ok, if you insist on bland fabric.

Not grammar, but there is someone on my wall right now on such an ironic tirade. Basically along the lines of "I hate people who hate people. Especially Christians, Jews, Muslims and the GOP. They pretend to be holy, but they are all really terrible people who don't practice what the preach. They're not good people like I am. And I'm taking a stand against it!"

I love how "Taking a Stand" in our society has become posting pics on your Facebook wall.

Status: I hate opinionated ugly people. You are far too unattractive to have all these point of views.

My comment: Self-hatred is a terrible thing


ETA:
His response: You cut me deep Rah you cut me deep

heheheh

A 14 yo guy posting on a 14 yo girl's page:

I love you so much baby your mylife and just so perfect aint nobody gonn take your spot in my heart and life i promise <<♥ i could NEVER get mad at you so stop worrying boo haha ..your my everything babe(: ... goodnight xoxoxoxoxoxoxox :******** see you tomarow precious<333 muah

Not Facebook but embarrassing nonetheless. My cousin feels that my continuing on in school makes the rest of the cousins look less intelligent. At least I think that's what he said.

Stop goin to skoo ur makin us all look bad

Just saw this on Facebook. LOL

http://a6.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphot...80428869_n.jpg

^^ Lol

Ellen DeGeneres now has a similar segment to this thread: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tvjIs-fBFok

Maybe he's convinced that there is a limited amount of intelligence available in the universe and you're taking more than your fair share.

I am laughing so hard right now.

...because I am getting a doctorate just to spite them all! That's totally it! :p

I've always been the nerdy cousin who loved school way too much. It's my role. :cool:

ETA: Looks like tomorrow (well, today) is 4/20. I'm anticipating a lot of statuses that don't make any kinda sense.

the day [Whitney Houston] pasted we had ask my mother to sit down.She loved her she bought my mother so much joy. thanks Whitney god bless.

I'm assuming this dumbass intended to say "passed," but "pasted" is even better.

I didn't know Whitney bought people joy. I could swear we paid to see her.

Nooo! She must be talking about Whitney Houston's kindergarten days when she used to eat paste.

We one our first game today but sense we lost bolth of ou games we only could play one game tofday and we won today 22-33

I know he's 9 but that's no excuse. If anything, grammar rules should be even more fresh in his mind. I will refrain from saying what I think about a 9yo having a Facebook in the first place. :)

More stupidity from 14 year olds:

Same idiot guy from last time:

"Being faitgful,honestl,loyal in a relatiinship soooo worth it (: now i now what truye love is right baby"

and...

"I cant believe we have so much in commin its like were ment to be(:"

A different 14yo guy to a 14yo girl:

"Like all the bullshit we got past from the pased 2 times we dated...lmao and that youre mine and we alwaysss are happy. For the most part lol. Dislike we donnot live toggether animore"

(My questions - how old were they the first "2 times" they dated, and they're upset that they're not living together ANYMORE??)

Precisely why my soon-to-be 9 year old will not be seeing the likes of FB anytime in the foreseeable future.

I posted a video of some kid playing Coldplay's "Viva La Vida" on organ.

"man, this makes me want to take lesions of organ"

Guy who posts about 15 anti-Judaic religion things per day just posted an article about a Pagan in the UK suing for religious harrassment and said that people who are being harrassed by Judaics, and evangelization is harrassment, should all get lawyers and sue.

Ironic FAIL.

HUH? He does realize that by definition the only people who can evangelize are Christians right? And Jews don't proselytize anyway from what my understanding is.

Oh my, I just let out a roar of laughter. :D