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Unfortunately, what you would have gotten, had you come to GC before rush is a lecture in managing expectations. The cuts can be brutal and really emotionally devastating if she lets it. And clearly she did. That sucks but I'm glad you didn't break down and take her home.

The good news is there will be other opportunities, in COB (probably) and as a sophomore next year. Tell her to keep her chin up, keep her grades and her reputation pristine, be involved and make friends. And not being Greek isn't the end of the world there.

Best of luck to both of you.

Tigeralum,

Please keep stressing to you daughter than she did nothing wrong and there was absolutely nothing wrong with her. Every process has its imperfections and recruitment may be poster child for imperfections.

I suspect that her GPA was indeed the downfall. If her GPA was in the 3.4 range with AP and IB classes, it is not out of a possible 4.0. It may have been a 3.4 out of 5.0 or 6.0. When her GPA was re-figured on a 4.0 scale, it may have been considerably lower. That is one of the downfalls to weighted grades. It gives students a false sense of GPA because they forget that most colleges are converting to 4.0 scale but noting that the student did participate in AP and IB.

There should be COB opportunities in the spring if her college GPA is good. These friends in sororities can let her know second semester if their chapters have openings and invite her to events. It is normal for chapters to lose women to early graduation, study abroad and internships over break. Hopefully, she will be able to take advantage of those connections.

Best wishes to both of you!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tigeralum (Post 2340029)

I wish I would have discovered this forum before yesterday. I'm amazed at the support and wonderful advice I've read throughout the Mizzou Recruitment thread! My daughter participated in Mizzou's formal rush as a freshman this year. She released herself from rush on that Friday after the second round of cuts. The first round only two houses cut her so we were off to a great start. I'll never forget that Friday morning when I got a call from her saying only 1 house out of 7 invited her back. She was so devastated we had to send my in-laws from St.Louis to get her. We currently live in the North Dallas, TX area. She begged us to fly her home but everyone told me that was a big "NO". My in-laws took her to STL for the weekend. She went back to Mizzou but it's been 3 weeks and she has still not emotionally recovered from her rush experience.
We had all the recs. I also attended Mizzou and was in a house so she was a legacy. She knew going in there weren't any promises because she was a legacy. I'm still struggling with my feelings about my house cutting her. She only had a 3.466 high school gpa but all of her classes were IB or AP. I'm not sure if that is even considered. Her ACT was an average score 25. Where she truly shined was her community service and philanthropy work. She is outgoing and has a bubbly personality.
She keeps asking me "What went wrong mom?". It breaks my heart that she is still dwelling on what went wrong. Of course we will never know but we are guessing maybe grades were a factor. I'm trying to be as supportive and encouraging as possible. She did sign up for informal but I'm aware the houses that participate are unknown at the moment.
My daughter has made a lot of friends but they are all in sororities and she gets so sad when they come back to the dorm from chapter events with Greek gifts and decorations. These are the hardest moments for her.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

I have missed these recent posts. All of the spam prevented me from noticing any activity on this thread. All I can say is I am so sorry to hear that your daughter had this experience (and you as well because as moms, we feel their pain too). I hear that this was not uncommon-- happening to way too many girls. My daughter's roommate had such a similar experience I had to double check that you were not from the same hometown. I know her roommate is trying to get involved in other campus activities right now which is helping. I hope your daughter finds her niche while she is waiting on informal rush to start. 💜

Thanks again to everyone who has replied on this thread or sent me a private message. My daughter seems to be enjoying Mizzou although she hasn't given up her hope of being in a sorority. She absolutely loves her major so thank goodness for that. She is getting involved with other organizations on campus. She says she is going to get a 4.0 this semester(fingers crossed) so she can try to COB this spring. I think it's too early right now even though PHA has several sororities listed as currently participating.
I do have a lot of questions about the COB process. I get the feeling that some sororities do not advertise if they are participating. My daughter did register for informal recruitment this semester. I understand she will have to do it again second semester. Should she also email the houses directly? Even the houses that aren't posted on PHA? She has made a lot of friends in sororities as I mentioned in my original post. From what little knowledge I have on COB none of the houses her friends are in participate in it. I told her...you never know...tell your friends to keep their ears to the ground just in case.

Some sororities only have a few spots open and it is far easier on both sides to not publicize it - for the sorority so they do not have to throw large parties and for the rushees so that dozens of girls do not get their hopes up for one or two spots. The best thing she can do is keep her friends aware of her interest.

To answer a few of your questions, no she shouldn't email the chapters directly. Only a very few would be doing anything this fall and a few more than that in the spring. As 33girl said, she should express interest to her friends, but don't beat it to death. She very well may have to wait until next fall, but it's great if she will allow herself to be open to the options available to her sooner than that. Do keep in mind that the most competitive chapters will likely NOT be participating in any informal rush but as has been abundantly clear, all of the chapters there are great and she'd have a great time in any of them.

Quote:

Originally Posted by pbear19 (Post 2339096)

I don't think any of the moms here had daughters join Gamma Phi, but just in case anyone wants to relive Bid Day a bit... :)

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=I4arrqG9fqQ

My daughter is a Gamma Phi Beta! (I'm not sure what happened to my other post from Bid Day). Although she was one of the lucky ones with a schedule she loved all week long, she really kept it contained because a lot of her friends were not so fortunate. Honestly, I don't understand it-having met so many of these girls I am dumbfounded how they were only invited back to 2 or 3 after Round 1. My heart breaks for the other Moms comforting their daughters-please encourage them to stick with it, explore their options and know there are so many other ways to get involved on this wonderful campus.

Hello! Love to hear some updates from everyone since recruitment!

Just got back from parents weekend at Mizzou. I got a chance to see my daughter's sorority house and meet some of her sisters. She made a fantastic choice. She seems so happy. The girls I met were genuinely kind hearted. I had no tears leaving after our visit knowing she is building wonderful friendships and memories. Could not have been more impressed! ❤️

My senior DD got her new great grand little last weekend and she's adorable! What a wonderful experience she has had in her house.

That's so sweet and exciting! Is your da SK?

Momoftiger, Yes she is! They lost their homecoming partners, Sigma Nu, and now they are doing it alone. I have no doubt they will prevail!

Quote:

Originally Posted by mumomm (Post 2367678)

Momoftiger, Yes she is! They lost their homecoming partners, Sigma Nu, and now they are doing it alone. I have no doubt they will prevail!

That's what I heard. I think KD is also losing their homecoming partners! So sad!!

Had so much fun watching the first night of the homecoming talent competition live streamed. Here's the link in case any of you don't have it. Http://livestream.com/Mizzou/homecoming2015