Congratulations, Molly! You will have an amazing experience with Kappa! I'm so glad you stuck it out the way you did--it speaks volumes about your character. I know you will be a tremendous asset to Kappa Kappa Gamma. Good luck, sweetie...don't forget all of us at GC!

Greek Chat Friends
 

Aloha my friends-

I can't thank you enough for this outpouring of support and encouragement. It's really great for me to visit this board and get feedback from so many that care. I'm really pleased with how things turned out too. Today I had lunch at Kappa and definitely had no problem vibing with the girls. One girl in particular turns out to know a ton of friends of mine, we just had never met. After chapter and dinner tonight, a big group of us are hitting some bars in town. I'm glad to know that not every girl is as reserved as I thought. It should be an awesome night.

I know I said it the last post, but I just want to reiterate it. I feel like just being myself at Kappa, is enough to make a huge impact, to really stand out and shine. I feel like I would've been sucked into any other place (especially Chi O), and lost a little bit of myself. Maybe that's melodramatic, and my brain is trying to justify the events of the week, but that philosophy has brought me comfort and peace of mind with where I've ended up. It is an outstanding organization, and I felt a lot of pride wearing my new letters today. I'll definitely be hanging around Greek Chat in the future, and want to thank all of you again for your interest and empathy.

Hope life is treating all of you great! Go Gators :)

M

Molly,
Once again, it must be said--you have a great attitude! I am glad you find yourself clicking with Kappa! Enjoy it!
Amy

I just know you're going to love Kappa!!! :D Best of luck and congratualtions :)

Liz

Congrats Molly! :)

Molly,

Don't worry! It will all make a ton more sense in a few months. There is a reason you're a Kappa, and I think you're already figuring that out.

I too ended up in what I thought was my second-choice sorority, but later that year I realized I was totally crazy to ever think my "1st choice" was where I belonged. As a rushee, I really had no clue what each group was about. My impressions during rush week weren't exactly accurate. I bet in a few months you'll be SO glad you didn't end up in Chi-O! (not to bash Chi-O or anything...) I just mean you will come to figure out why you were meant to be a Kappa, and why they were the ones that chose you.

It seems like things always have a way of working out how they should in rush. Your new Kappa sisters knew where you belonged, just trust the process.

Anyway, have fun with your new sisters!

Molly--You've already figured out in a day what some of us took a year to realize! If you can't just be yourself in the house, then it's not the house for you. :) You're an amazing girl. Sounds like there's a lot of chapters at UF that missed out.

MollyUF, I am so happy for you but jealous as well! Kappa is one of my favorite organizations nationally and when I visited my campus I met so many Kappas and they all struck me as being absolutely wonderful girls!!! Congratulations !!! Perhaps I will eventually be your sister - my rush isnt till January though! :D :D

Molly,

I hope your experience as a Kappa is fabulous. I think you are a great girl and know you have a lot to off to your new organization, just as it has a lot to offer you. Have FUN!!!!

Michelle

Update on Molly's Recruitment Saga
 

Hey Everyone!

I don't know how many people that followed my recruitment story on Greek Chat are still hanging around, but I have an interesting update that I thought some people might want to hear.

If you read what happened to me, the whole thing that transpired with Chi Omega was pretty terrible, upsetting and unexpected. Well, I found out DEFINITIVELY why I was cut this past week. One of my close girlfriends is a Chi Omega and she told me. This is straight from the horse's mouth.

At the beginning of last spring semester (we are talking january 2001), some of my close guy friends rushed Delta Tau Delta. As a prank their pledge class kidnapped their pledge educator/chair or whatever, and organized a scavenger hunt for the older brothers to find him. The last clue was a video they had to pick up at Hooters. They needed some girls to be in the video, so as a favor a few girls, including myself did it. There was NOTHING gratuitous about the video AT ALL. We were wearing T=Shirts that said hooters on them, that was about it.

Anyways, the whole night was just funny and I got to meet a bunch of great Delts. The next night I was at a bar and ran into a lot of them, including the Pledge Educator. He was there with his girlfriend and I introduced myself to her, just being friendly. She was a total ice queen, real bitchy and rude. I figured it was about the Hooters thing but I really didn't think twice about it.

Fast forward to August recruitment, practically 7 months later. I had my great experience at Chi Omega, it was a sure thing. Then I was dropped. Do you remember how I was taken to be introduced to the pledge educator? Well, it was that same Ice Queen bitch that was irritated about the Hooters thing. She told my friend last week, and I QUOTE:

"That's the great thing about recruitment, you can drop girls for no reason. That's what she gets for waving her boobs in my boyfriends face." :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

I didn't even recognize her when I met her during recruitment. Apparently I got a sky high rating, but since she was Rush Chair she gave me the ax anyway. What a crappy, insecure person...

Well, that's the long and the short of it. I am really disappointed that things worked out that way, because even now I can say that Chi Omega would have been a much better house for me than KKG, but I do love my sorority a lot, and I'll just have to make the best of it. How random though!

Hope everyone is doing well...

Molly

Wow! That is really terrible. I'm sorry that you got screwed over by someone so insecure. :(

Thanks for updating us, though. I hope you're having fun!

Thanks Molly for updating us! :) Please post more, we would love to hear more from you!!! :D

I loved reading your entire recruitment story, BTW...I just wish that things didn't turn out so disappointing for you!! I hope you are finding your home at Kappa, though!

Take care Molly!!

That's terrible! :eek: But if she did something that nasty during rush, you don't need her for a sister.

Glad things are working out well with Kappa. :)

HAVE FUN WITH THE DELTS!! Just be yourself, it doesn't matter if its good enough for some one else. It just takes some time little girl you're in the middle of the ride everything everything will be just fine everything everything will be alright alright.

:eek: OH MY GOSH that is absolutly awful!! I can't believe that someone could do such a thing like that...I am so sorry that happened to you sweetie! I wish you the best of luck with your sorority though!

Nichole

I'm sorry about your experience, Molly, and hope you enjoy Kappa. I would like to add that there is no such thing as a sure thing during rush. At UF and most of the other SEC schools there are many more coming through rush than can get into any one sorority.

Also, at my school we pledge very very few sophs, and its much more difficult for them during rush. UF is prolly similar. That may have been a factor, too.

Not to pass judgement on, but you did refer to your first meeting with her as the "ice queen bitch." If you felt that way at the time, then she prolly picked up on some of your feelings toward her and visa versa. It was unfortunate for you she turned out to be the rush chair.

All I can say is when PNMs meet actives during the spring and summer before rush, first impressions carry a lot of weight, and will carry over into rush. This is especially true for those larger campuses where the rush process is very hectic and competitive. It is not easy during rush to "right" a situation. And, fair or not, the rush chair is not the one to get on the wrong side of.

Again, I hope things work out well with you and KKG. They are one of the better houses on my campus.

To h2oot - yes, but...
 

Molly said:

No matter WHAT the rush chair's personal feelings were, it does not give her the right to go against the popular vote of the chapter. She is rush chair, not rush dictator.

Molly - keep enjoying Kappa, and I would bet that a year from now, you'll be scratching your head wondering how you ever thought you could be in any other sorority! Have fun :D.

Re: To h2oot - yes, but...
 

In some chapters, the rush chair has that authority. Remember, the chapter elected her because they trusted her judgement.

Re: Re: To h2oot - yes, but...
 

Ye Gads!! I can't imagine what kind of fur would have flown in my chapter if the rush chair would have gone against the majority...she would have probably gotten terminated for a stunt like that.

I know at large chapters it is done differently, but I know we pick our rush chair because we believe she can do the best job of planning rush and getting sisters and rushees excited about the sorority...not because we think her judgement of who would be a good member is superior. That is up to the whole chapter.

Personally, I question if the rush chair acted unilaterally. Assuming the PNM had a "sky high" rating, somebody(s) would have championed her cause. UF is a huge chapter and if the rush chair arbitrairily dropped a top candidate, then there would be a lot of flack. I sense there is more to what happened.

Re: Re: Re: To h2oot - yes, but...
 

Well, let me give an example. In my chapter, a woman approached me about a PNM. She had a HUGE problem with the girl, but it was not something she could share with the chapter. This PNM was friends with a lot of my sisters, and they were all pulling for her each stage. At the discretion of myself (president), the rush chair, and the chapter advisor, we dropped her. No questions asked. This is not an abuse of power, it is protecting this one woman from having to get in the middle of what would have been an emotionally charged battle. On the other hand, the chapter did not question it, because they trust that we would not drop someone without a good reason.

So all I am saying is that there may be a reason she was dropped, even if most of the chapter supported her. Sometimes the chapter members never know.

You know, I'm surprised that girls within let this information out.
My daughter got a "reason" given to her by member's BOYFRIEND! Of course the boyfriend and my daughter were old friends, but still it seems to show that some individuals lack the social graces they and their chapter claim to possess- to carry this information outside of the chapter is the utmost testimony to
tasteless, clodish behavior.

I know you feel better having a reason, and that reason isn't destructive to you or your confidence (my daughter's explanation was OK as well) but good lord, that is something that should NEVER go beyond the DAY or the IMMEDIATE conversation.

Maybe knowing gives you closure (I really hate that term) and I know you are friends, but that girl did her chapter more harm than YOU good.

Molly:
I am sorry that Chi Omega cut you but I have to add my two cents. There is no way that one single person got you"axed." She may have been vociferous about her opinion, but if the rest of the chapter didn't feel that it was a factor you would not have been cut. No one person, not even Rush Chair, has that kind of authority. It is very possible that when the situation was brought up, enough people felt that it wasn't the kind of representation that they wanted. What is perfectly acceptable to one person is totally tasteless to another. We make our judgments in life, and we face the consequences of those judgments. I agree that you already had this girl labeled in a negative light as you admitted that upon your first meeting you felt she was an "ice queen bitch." Maybe she was just shy. Maybe she was having a bad day. You made your judgment of her based on your first impression, just as she made hers of you.

Anyway it is an unfortunate situation. I hope that you can get beyond this and feel more at home with KKG. KKG is an excellent sorority nationally and I am sure that you will have a fantastic greek experience with them. Just a word of advice....you might want to watch how much you pst about still wanting to be elsewhere, just out of respect for your chapter and your sisters. I know that you felt slighted, and I can understand how that hurts but it is important to remember that KKG saw things in you that were very important to them and they wanted you to be a sister....when you took your bid you pledged your loyalty to them.

Best of luck to you as a KKG.

JAM, I could not possibly agree with you more. I think that was very well said.

I'm not surprised--stuff that should be kept under wraps gets out all the time, and you'd be surprised how many people know your business. That said, I don't agree with the people who said that one person cannot "axe" a PNM all by herself. Yes, one person can. It didn't happen to me, thank goodness (not to my knowledge, anyway!), but I know whereof I speak because the people in my chapter have virtually no say in who gets invited back. That's up to the rush committee, headed by the rush chair, and if one of those people on that committee did not like a particular girl (even if she got truckloads of green cards) I'd be willing to be money she would not be on the list of those invited back. If the rush chair in this case really is such a bitchy character, maybe people were afraid of her and didn't challenge her for that reason...hell, I'm not sure I'd want to get on her wrong side either, even if I was an initiated sister!

I'm really sorry this happened and quite frankly, I think it's ridiculous, but I cannot say I'm all that surprised. It happens all the time, not just in sororities but everywhere. It would be nice if there was a way you could sue or something! :p Seriously, though, it was probably a good thing that you ended up a Kappa because at the end of the day, at least you know all those girls respected you and didn't treat you unfairly.

Incidents like this are, in my opinion, a good reason to hold rush at the beginning of the year and to go through as a freshman. I think that would help young women from doing things that may hurt their reputation or cause potential sisters to feel that she is not a good candidate to become one of the family. I have a hard time believing Molly would have participated in the video had she already been a pledge and an older sister could have taken her aside and told her, "Not such a great idea....."

Well said, Erika

Maybe so Killarney, but if the incident happened after she was initiated, there would probably be even MORE bullshit than there already is.

As for this "The Rush chair has the right" crap, that's bullshit. As 33girl said, the fur would've been flying all over our house. Now mind you, our rushes are much smaller than these, but we know who we all like, and we are asking the minute our lists come back if that girl is coming back. If we knew that our rush chair did this, we'd be pretty pissed. The rush chair is elected because she's got good ideas for recruitment and because she's well organized at setting up successful recruitment, not for her "good judgment as to who she thinks would be a good sister".

Just my .02!

Achtung, I'm sorry but again I will disagree with you......perhaps in some chapters one person has this power but this was a Chi Omega chapter that dropped Molly, and as a Chi Omega I can tell you that our rush does not operate that way. Obviously I can't go into detail but we have certain procedures in place to ensure that one person cannot prevail over the entire chapter in these situations. I can see why everyone feels so sorry for Molly.....it is always heartbreaking when someone gets their heart set on a certain chapter and then things don't go their way. But at the same time, we have all said time and time again that nothing is a sure thing. We all have to trust in our sisters' judgment in rush situations and if there were sisters who felt that it was tasteless to perform in this Hooters' video (I am not saying I feel this way, only that someone else very well could have) then they have every right to decide that they do not want someone who does that to represent their chapter. It is also possible that what this "ice queen" supposedly said was taken out of context or completely twisted around. We all know about hearsay. It is possible that the chapter liked this girl very much but that she just didn't hit high enough on the priority list.....

I'm sorry, I am just really feeling bad for KKG.....it seems like they have extended their love and sisterhood to someone who really doesn't want to be there. I also feel bad for Molly, but you have to deal. It's really easy to get bitter and say "oh well their loss" and "they missed out on a great sister, their mistake!!!" etc etc but what does that really accomplish?

Not much to say except
 

I'm new to this forum but I've been drawn to this post. Really the reason being that Molly is an example of how every rushee should be...she went in with an open mind, continued to rush even though her favorite dropped her and is now pledging a really great house. I don't know what formal rush is like since I got a bid from Phi Mu during an informal spring rush. However, I do know that I was in the right place, it wasn't the most "popular" place or the "biggest" place but it was my place. I have since left that particular school because of family problems and looking to transfer to another university in the Fall. No matter where I end up, I'll always have my place in Phi Mu. Molly found her place...and that's the most important thing. Molly, I hope you enjoy your pledge/new member period, I loved mine!

Re: Not much to say except
 

I totally agree with you, and I had the exact same experience with my choice, going through formal rush being the difference. I love my Phi Mu sisters, and I could never see myself in another GLO.

Molly~
I'm sorry you went through all that you did, but I am so happy that you found your home with Kappa. Enjoy your collegiate years. The bond will last a lifetime!

Choose your actions carefully...
 

To choose thoughtfully that course which occassion and conscience demand

Above is part of our creed, something we try to follow every day. I mention it as something all potential new members should think about before recruitment. You may think no one notices you... you are only 1 on a campus of 10,000 plus but many active members of each sorority are watching you at parties and events. I've read some rush threads where people will even suggest that you don't attend any parties before rush- just to stay safe.

As you go through recruitment; just take the time and think to yourself... is this going to help me or hinder me. And as a suggestion to all my greek sisters.. I heard too many horror stories of funny joke like photos taken with other sisters that suddenly appear on fraternity internet sites (i.e.- that topless contest XYZ sorority did during Spring Break)... in this day- you just can't be safe anymore. Everything is public knowledge with the internet.

ErikaXO, I completely agree with you. I was thinking the same thing while I was reading this thread, then got to your post!

Thanks, Angels......Molly PLEASE don't think that I am trying to launch a personal affront on you because I am not. I totally understand both sides of the situation and I have nothing against you. But I am wondering if the people who are saying "this is a model of how a rushee should be" really read the whole thread. Making nasty remarks about a chapter who dropped you, having a less-than-enthusiastic attitude about the chapter whose bid you accepted and then publishing those feelings for KKG members to see? I don't really think that is how I would want all rushees to be.

Molly, I will say again, you are part of an EXCELLENT sisterhood. Your membership in Kappa Kappa Gamma will follow you for the rest of your life and will cast a light of well-earned admiration upon you by those who meet you. I hope that you are able to put your experience behind you completely and put your energy into your chapter. I just think that this is a good example of how people need to be careful about the things that they do, and also about the things that they say afterward.

Well put, Erika.

Molly, I want to reiterate what I said earlier. KKG is great sorority and you should be proud to be invited to join.

I have repeated over and over on the Rush board, that all of the sororities on my campus have much to offer any PNM who puts in the time and effort to form the bonds of sisterhood.

I also see theads about "which is the top sorority" and others where a PNM says, "while my house may not be one of the more popular ones....." Sisterhood is not about being popular, its about developing character, forming bonds, and self-discovery. If after four years you can hold you head high, then absolutely your sorority is "tops".

very well said H2oot I totally agree...

Molly wear your letters with pride in knowing you are in a great organization and a sister whol wants you ... not every one ends up at their #1 choice for one reason or the other so you are faced with the options of dwelling on it or wearing your letters proudly and enjoying your college years I promise you they are the best you will ever have ....

Hey Everybody!

Sorry I haven't been around to respond to all the stuff that has been going on! Seems like quite a conversation has been started about all the events that went down.

Some of the things I've read on here, I've been mildly offended by. I've been nothing but honest on these boards, and getting ripped for it kind of sucks. But it's alright, all of you are entitled to your opinions, and since none of you are close to the situation or know both sides, it's hard to make comments that are 100% valid to the whole ordeal.

In defense of my dignity, refering to it as the "hooters video", makes it sound much more salacious than it really was. It was quite literally three girls, wearing hooters Tee Shirts (not the tight little tank tops), standing behind a couch where the individual had his hands tied. We were fake hitting him and stuff, it was entirely comical, not even close to being sexual. It was most definitely all in good fun.

Obviously me vouching for my own character doesn't carry that much weight, just because no one is going to say bad things about herself. But everyone that knows me would tell you that I am a very friendly and open person. When I met the future rush chair I said hello, extended my hand for a handshake, she refused to shake it, looked me up and down and turned around and kind of burrowed herself in her boyfriends side.

Let me apologize up front for calling her what I did earlier. Everyone has their insecurities and personal problems and it's really not fair for me to judge. If she felt threatened by me or the situation, she was probably horrendously misinformed about my intentions and character. BUt you know what they say, until you walk a mile in their shoes....

A lot of you made interesting points regarding the rush chair's ability to "axe" an individual at their own discretion. I don't know the details about what went on in the house, but I know that girls liked me A LOT there. I could be entirely misinformed. Mabye all those girls couldn't stand me. But in my heart of hearts, I KNOW the rush chair, either by cutting me on her own, or by flaming me to the other members of the sorority, is the reason I am not a chi omega today.

I especially want to apologize to members of Chi Omega and Kappa. It was not my intention to disrespect Chi Omega, and DEFINTELY not my intention to disrespect my own house. I do love my sorority, especially the national strength it has. I get a great feeling of pride telling people I'm a Kappa. It's a wonderful sorority with wonderful traditions. I love my sisters and have made great friends at the house. You all can hate me for being honest, but if I could go back and change things, would I? There is a good chance I would. Chi Omega is a much stronger/larger/and more active house on campus. We are the 2nd smallest house on campus. And on this campus, numbers say A LOT. I think the girls in XO are probably more like me. Am I happy at Kappa though?? YES. Am I glad I pledged??? ABSOLUTELY. I AM THRILLED TO BE A KAPPA FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.

And that's that.

Molly

ps- I haven't thought about this situation in a while, I'm pretty much over it. I just posted b/c I thought everyone who followed my rush story might find it interesting. It's also neat to think about how dramatically our lives shift in ways we don't even know without us realizing it. My whole life would be different if I had changed one thing. It's crazy to think what if...?:rolleyes: :rolleyes:

Molly- try not to think about the "what if's" too much because it might distract you from the wonderful opportunity that you have with Kappa. I hope that you have as wonderful a time with Kappa as I had and have with DPhiE! :D

I can see the logic behind some of the points that were made, but I am with MollyUF--even though I've never been in the exact same situation, I can imagine what she's had to go through and I really think I'd react the same way. Being honest is dangerous sometimes, especially in these cases, but I don't think she should be criticised for it. My opinion doesn't count for much, but I think she's handled a bitterly disappointing situation very well; and, no matter what went on inside the Chi Omega house, that situation looks really dodgey. To be honest myself, it seems like somebody got jealous and took it out on her. I do second the comment, though, that thinking about "what if" is no good--I had my share of those moments, but it really doesn't accomplish anything. But no matter what, I'm glad to know that she's turned this into a positive situation and deserves congratulations.