Ehemm.....*cough* *cough*

I am starting to get worried about 20something! I hope everything is alright!

Hi all! I'm back in action. Sorry for the delay!

Well, I later ended dating a member of Violently Drunk for 2 years. So go figure. I had the sense to get out though.

So... rush week starts! I could barely concentrate on the first week of classes! But I should mention one more thing that I believe I should have included in my first post. Sometime before the first night of rush, but after the dinner with the Girls from Across the Street, I found out that my University Big, the Peyton, would not be on campus for recruitment. She had come down with mono over Christmas break and was going to miss the whole first week of school and also recruitment week. This made me a bit nervous because it was basically like my biggest champion in Peyton would not be there during recruitment week... but I thought it would probably be ok. Right? Right??

SOOOOOOO.... night 1 of recruitment. Philanthropy night!

The dress for Philanthropy Night was a pair of casual pants or nice jeans along with a nice but casual top. The idea was that it would be something you'd wear to class, only what people wore to class at my school was usually more dressy that that. Hm. So basically what happened (and this is consistent with what happened when I went through on the other side too), all the PNMs come in wearing nice khakis (almost to a fault), and the sororities wear jeans because Panhel dictates they have to in order to be "casual." As far as tops most girls probably wore a nice dressy sweater because it was so cold that year. I wore a nice pair of khakis (no doubt) with a striped wool mock turtleneck sweater. I still have and love that sweater. It had horizontal stripes of gray, deep purple, and orange. It might sound a little weird but it works well with my coloring. The only thing that was upsetting was that it had snowed over Christmas break and indeed snowed again before the first night of recruitment (the night I went out with the Girls from Across the Street), so Panhel made a decree that everyone HAD to wear sneakers, when before the dictate had been "sneakers or casual flats." (Again, Panhel always forces actives to wear sneakers, but the PNMs usually sneak and wear casual flats, unless it's snowed and Panhel makes the sneaker decree.) I really did not like wearing sneakers with my outfit and felt like my sneakers did not go or match my outfit. :(

So.... the parties! The first night of recruitment we stuck with our Rho Chi groups, which were basically our halls, which was nice because Roommate and Hallmate came with me everywhere.

1. Peyton. I was so excited to go to Peyton! We entered and the girls were all singing and clapping and going crazy and they led us up the stairs to their dining room. They had removed all the tables and put down clear tarp on the floor. We were making... What the hell were we making? I think we were making quilt squares. This is sad because I know from the rest of my college career that Peyton changed their philanthropy craft every year and I think I'm thinking that they one they did my sophomore year was the one we did for some reason. ACK! I'm getting old. Anyway, we made quilt squares. I was picked up by someone I didn't know, a senior. She was extremely blond and didn't make particularly good conversation. I found that Peyton had a really awkward, obvious method of bumping. They had all the PNMs sitting in circle groups making the craft with their rushers, and then they would flash the lights and all the Peytons would jump up and move to another circle. It was really extremely obvious and particularly awkward since it was my first party of recruitment. On the other hand, I quickly realized that recruitment was a bit of an assembly line, which I think is a good thing to realize early on. I talked to probably 3-4 people. I don't remember how many. I thought it went fairly well.

2. The second party of the night was Nathan. I was picked up here by a girl who was a junior or senior. I quickly realized how intense the Nathans were. They were so proud to be Nathans! They clearly really and truly thought Nathan was the best place to be, period. They were going crazy! I don't even remember how we had time to make a craft because it seemed like all that was happened was the Nathans going crazy and chanting about how much they loved Nathan. I must have met 7-8 people, which at my school is pretty unusual for one night of recruitment. The craft was stamping designs onto baby caps and onesies (aw! I liked this). One thing happened that I didn't know what to make of, was that my rusher introduced me to the president of the chapter. I think somehow we were talking about hometowns and the rusher decided I just HAD to talk to the president of the chapter (who despite being from my town and our grandmothers being friends, I had never met... her family had gone up in the world I think! LOL). The president was really sweet to me and was wearing HUGE Nathan lavaliere earrings. I mean seriously huge; I haven't seen anything like them before or since, she must have special ordered them. I left Nathan feeling really good and overwhelmed by how much the Nathans loved their chapter. I wondered if it was some kind of good thing to be introduced to the President.

3. Next was Lucas. I was REALLY curious to see if Host Lucas (who I still liked) might pick me up. She did not, nor did the Lucas I knew from French class. I got another girl who was probably the most laid back person I had during all of recruitment. She had a sort of snorty laugh. Unlike the first two parties at Peyton and Nathan, the Lucases left their dining room tables out and we made the crafts on the tables. As a PNM, this was probably a slightly more pleasant experience, but it didn't allow the sisters to run around and go crazy like they had at Nathan or to a lesser extent Peyton (well, with Peyton, it was mostly them running between PNM circles). I won't say what the craft was at Lucas because it's a really common craft that's done nationally by Lucas chapters. I did think it was a really cool craft though and I had probably the best results with it of any craft project of the night. I just didn't know what to make of my rusher though. I didn't get much of a vibe from her at all! In retrospect, I'd say she seemed like a bit of a stoner or something. I do remember thinking that the Lucases had the best outfits of the night - a simple polo in their colors. Chapters at my school tended to wear either tshirts or polos in their colors (with the Panhel mandated jeans and sneakers) and I think overall from the PNM perspective the polo chapters looked more put-together than the tshirt chapters. So I left Lucas feeling somewhat bored.

4. Haley. I was getting tired but felt like I would at least see people I knew here. So I was extremely disappointed when I was picked up by someone I didn't know. Similar to Lucas, Haley left out their tables to do the craft project on and you only spoke to one rusher the entire night (although floating people might come and greet you, this happened at both Lucas and Haley). I won't say what Haley's craft was either (it's not a national one but it might be a give-away), but it involved a LOT of painting and was kind of messy, which was problematic. I was speaking to a junior who seemed sort of boring to me. From our conversation, I quickly realized that she was friends with a lot of the Haley members I danced with, yet I had NEVER met her. Didn't she socialize at all or go to fraternity parties? I pondered this in my head. On the other hand, this Haley was going to be the new member educator so she was able to talk about a lot of the events that Haley would be doing with their pledge class. That was pretty cool. Haley also wore polos which was a good thing. I remember looking around here and feeling like some of the other PNMs weren't as bored. From my perspective, I had been to two really high energy parties and then two much lower energy parties, and I was starting to feel drained.

5. Brooke. Again, I had the most negative idea of Brooke going in. I had a junior pick me up here. (In retrospect, I think it's interesting that juniors and seniors picked me up at every house the first night - I hate to say it, but at my school I think you can read a lot from that.) I really hit it off with this junior, though. I felt like of all the conversations I had that night it was the most normalized and just "getting to know you" type of conversation. Looking around at the Brookes though, I was not really sure I wanted to be a part of them. The Brooke craft is a nationally common one too so I'll remain mum on that. The Brookes had removed their tables, but their party still wasn't as high energy as Nathan's had been, or even maybe Peyton's. I mean, they didn't do the awkward bumping thing like Peyton. I think I must have talked to several different people but for some reason I only remember talking to the one girl who picked me up. I really did like her.

We went back to the dorms to discuss and rehash! The next afternoon we would find out where we were invited back; for skit night we could return to a maximum of 4 parties. I would say that my top two after the first night were Nathan (based on how awesome the party was) and Peyton (based on knowing all the girls I knew in Peyton). Then I would have chosen Haley and it would probably have been a tossup between Lucas and Brooke for the bottom places...

Why do I think I know this school and who you are?

Must be deja vu all over again. :)

Yay! Recruitment finally started for you! (You know, back then...and in your story)

On a side note, I've started having recruitment dreams even though we're seriously over 2 months away from it. Does anyone else do that?

I STILL have recruitment dreams and I've been out of school for over 20 years.

I'm afraid to admit you are not the only one, on either count!

Did you even when you weren't reading GreekChat a lot?

Whenever I drove by the house or helped with another chapter's recruitment it seems that I did. I'm sure GC gave it a big boost.

Yeah, but I was heavily involved with recruitment as a collegiate and at times have been as an alumna. Now I get the late night phone calls from my chapters, so every once in a while in the fall I do dream about it!

Recruitment is a pretty intense time and it deals pretty openly with rejection and acceptance, so if you buy into the idea that the things that you dream about are more about what they represent to you rather than the things themselves, it might be common to dream about recruitment anytime you were joining a new group or interviewing for jobs or whatever. Or it might be something that we associate with starting college when all the world's possibility seemed to be ahead of us, so we dream about it when we're feeling stuck.

I wouldn't be surprised if it were really common to occasionally have dreamed about it even years past your involvement in it..

Maybe we should do a survey.

ETA: and of course if you are present actually involved in it in one form or another, I'm sure it's just like having work related dreams.

Whoop! Whoop! I'm so glad you're back!

NATHAN! NATHAN! NATHAN!

Really? I never witnessed the "flashing light" thing. We had "bump group leaders" who secretly kept track of when it was time to bump. We tried to make it seamless, though it required quite a stretch in conversation dynamics to make it happen sometimes.

I have never seen the flashing light thing either. We did it similar to what you described, kreich, of having certain leaders who start the bumping and trying to make the bumping appear seamless. I think chapter on the campus I advise at would freak out at the suggestion of flashing lights. :)

And to the OP - keep it a-coming!

I think I know who you are and thus your school and sorority. This is a great story.

I AM LOVING IT!

I don't think the flashing lights thing is inherently bad. But on a campus where on Night 1, all the other other groups are doing seamless leader-led bumping (that has conversational transitions), the flashing lights and jumping up abruptly to go to another group looks stupid.

So the afternoon of Day 2 of recruitment, we went to a central location on campus to pick up our recruitment invitations. I went and met my Rho Chi and saw my invitation list.... I was invited back to...















Haley
Peyton
and Brooke!

I was honestly a bit disappointed I did not get invited back to Nathan. I knew that I had heard they were soooooooo hard to get into, but I really did love their first night of recruitment and I got the best impression of them as a group. But reflecting on it, I realized that knowing the two Nathans who hung out at MOR/Central was probably not enough to get me into that chapter. Nor was some random connection with the president.

It didn't particularly surprise me that Lucas cut me, either, and I wasn't too disappointed as I had no real vibe from them and only knew a few Lucases.

I was not surprised to see Haley and Peyton on my list and was happy to go to both of them.

Brooke was certainly not my first choice, but I thought given the fact that I was already going to one less than the maximum number of parties, it was a good thing they were inviting me back. I felt kind of crappy that I didn't have a full night of parties, but whatever at this point.

As far as my friends went:

Roommate was going back to Haley, Peyton, and Lucas.
Hallmate and Floormate were both going back to Haley and Peyton only.
I wasn't keeping up with what was going on with Girls from Across the Street that closely.

Does everyone want to hear how Skit Night went? :)

I agree - I don't think it's necessarily bad, but considering all the groups on that campus I advise do leader-led bumping, it would be seen as drastically different and probably a little weird.

And as for your question - yes, yes, YES!

OK, I'll go on and do Skit Night. Forewarning, some of my assessments here might seem a little harsh.

For Skit Night, attire was basically black pants and a dressy blouse. Like something you might wear to the firm's Christmas party. Or perhaps a fraternity party, but a more conservative version of what you might wear to a fraternity party. Think a lot of silk tops and pretty much all dressy black pants.

I wore black pants and I *think* the top I wore was a black and silver top, where the silver was basically thin lines of glitter across it. I can't remember what shoes I wore...

1. Haley. The Haley skit had a "TRL" theme. I remember thinking that TRL theme was a bit dated and out of touch. It was about a year or two too late to really make a TRL skit work, and I'm not 100% sure it would have ever worked with 2nd semester college women as opposed to high schoolers. The outfits that the membership at large (the people not in the skit) wore were cute. They had black tshirts with the Haley letters spelled out in jewels on them. Honestly, that was the biggest thing I felt Haley had going for them that night. It didn't appear that all the sisters were totally into the skit. On the other hand, a few people seemed *TOO* into it. There was a group of sisters playing insane fans at TRL, and they were just too into it. They were screaming enthusiastically and such, but in a way that was awkward and off-script and sometimes seemed to be drowning out, you know, the actual frickin' SKIT. My immediate thought was that the women portraying the TRL fans were insane losers who were completely out of touch with freshmen women and campus culture. Then there were segments of the skit where they changed popular song lyrics to fit Haley, and they also danced. Now granted, Haley had some good dancers (as I knew all of the girls who did dance from Haley), but the song/dance segments seemed to take up too much of the skit time and not really convey information about Haley, as the other skits would prove to do (also, none of the other skits had the song/dance segments, so after a night of the skits it seemed like the songs were "making time" and preventing them from really conveying info about Haley, especially the social aspects of Haley, which the other sororities focused on on Skit Night). I do remember that I liked the food at Haley that night - I think it was a cookie or something. I forget who picked me up at Haley that night - I think it was one of Roommate's good friends in Haley who I also knew pretty well. I also got to talk to the president of Haley at one point, who seemed to have a funny and cool personality, but honestly, she was kind of overweight and I just remember thinking that I didn't want to join Haley because of that. I didn't want to be in the "heavy" sorority, even I knew that that stereotype didn't seem to be true on the whole anymore. (I mean, I could look around and see that most members weren't heavy, but it still bothered me.) Oh, more cool thing Haley did do. At the end of the skit they did a Haley chant and then pealed off afterwards chanting the name of every member. I thought that was cool because none of the other orgs ended up doing that.

2. Peyton. I was picked up by my University Big Peyton's best friend. This made me feel much better because I had hoped one of UB Peyton's friends would pick me up the first night, just to reassure myself since UB Peyton would not be there for recruitment. I was actually curious to see what would happen with Peyton's skit since I knew UB Peyton was supposed to be one of the lead characters (UB Peyton is one of the most hilarious people I have ever met and would have been great in the skit). UB Best Friend was nice enough but at times I felt she might not be being totally sincere. She just had a weird vocal tone and I felt she wasn't saying things that rang true. Like when she said "I know we're all sorry UB Peyton isn't here because she knew so many great girls like you" I felt something was just... off. Peyton's skit was a version of ESPN's Sports Center. They had different "sports" reports on the various things Peyton did. Their skit was pretty funny and well-put together. It quickly became obvious to me that Peyton's skit was a LOT about parties and mixers that Peyton had with various fraternities. This started to bother me a lot because I had heard through the freshman and fraternity grapevine that Haley didn't have any mixers with fraternities. The fact that they hadn't focused on it in their skit (whereas Peyton was really using skit night to plug the social aspects of Peyton home) made me think that Haley really didn't have any fraternity mixers or social life. I did feel the absence of UB Peyton really badly on Skit Night, both in their skit and in my conversations. But the one good thing was I did have the opportunity to speak to more Peytons I knew. The girl who walked me out said "I hope to see you again" or something like that, which made me feel good and like they did want me.

3. Brooke. At Brooke I was picked up... Host Brooke! This made me really nervous and I didn't know if it was a good or bad thing. Host Brooke had been nice enough when I visited, but I hadn't really had much contact with her since starting college. The Brooke skit started right away when we got there. It was a "Late Night with Brooke" theme, with the top 10 list and everything. I noticed one thing immediately. Brooke had put all their most attractive members in the skit. Brooke had a lot of plain/less girly girls due to the high number of athletes in their sorority, and almost NONE of those girls were in the skit, despite the fact that almost everyone associated athletes were Brooke. I thought that was a little sketchy. I didn't really like Brooke's skit. It was well-enough acted, I think, but it seemed to be full of "inside jokes" about certain fraternities and parties and things. Looking around the room, I noticed that when those jokes happened, about half the PNMs laughed and the other half were as clueless as I was. I literally remember thinking "I wonder if someone is recording who's laughing at these inside jokes and eliminating everyone who doesn't laugh from membership in Brooke." That's how awkward it made me feel. There was another whole section that didn't really go along with their skit that was a "fashion show." Again, this was a whole section about the fraternity mixers, with the Brookes dressed up in various mixer outfits. Again, my heart sunk because I knew that Haley didn't have mixers and the other groups were really playing up the social aspects for skit night. Yet I didn't see what a fashion show had to do with "Late Night at Brooke." Also, all the girls were shrieking and going crazy when the fashion show girls came out in their frat mixer outfits, and it just seemed fake and over the top to me - not in the same off-script and socially awkward way that Haley had, but just in a lame way. I felt like they were TRYING to be like Nathan had been on Night 1 but failing miserably. Also some of the "fashion show"/fraternity mixer outfits kind of sketched me out. Just as one example, Host Brooke, who'd picked me up, was dressed up for some kind of redneck themed mixer and was dressed up in Confederate flag stuff. I found that a little offensive, both because it was a frickin' confederate flag at sorority recruitment, and because I was from a rural area and not a big fan of "redneck" stereotypes. So after the skit, Host Brooke picks me back up. The way Brooke had timed it, most of the chatting time would be after the skit. Host Brooke talked to me for a bit, and then awkwardly said, "Oh! I see someone I really want to talk to! I'll be right back!" And she ran off into another room and left me alone in the hallway.

I felt awful. Host Brooke had basically told me all I needed to know: I wouldn't be getting a bid at Brooke and she didn't even care enough about me or my opinion of Brooke to stick around and talk to me. I felt so stupid. I didn't even want a bid at Brooke that much; they were my bottom choice, but it still felt really awful to be left completely alone. I don't know how long I was standing there. It wasn't too long. Eventually the Brooke who'd picked me up from Night 1 saw me and ran to my rescue. She was really, really nice. Basically she had been the biggest thing going for Brooke throughout recruitment so far for me. I felt she was embarrassed that I'd been standing alone (though she didn't reference it), and we didn't talk for super long - I got the impression she was floating and wanted the chance to say something to me before the next "official" person to talk to me came along. She said how happy she was to see me back and I felt like she really meant it. At that moment I really felt like she was probably fighting for me to join Brooke against a lot of people who didn't want me or just didn't know me enough to care. In retrospect I feel I was probably right, and I think she probably came up to me knowing full well what the situation was with me and wanting to talk to me so she could write something positive on my comment card. Another person came up and relieved her pretty quickly and before long it was time to go. I left reflecting on how much Host Brooke sucked. When I visited, I had really despised Two Doors Down Brooke, and thought Host Brooke was alright except for drinking illegally in the dorms (which is something I never did do). But now a bunch of things she'd said to me when I visited came flooding back to me. For example, when I'd asked her what she'd like to do when she graduated, she said, "Oh, I never really thought about it or wanted to work. I figured I'd just work for my dad's company or maybe teach elementary school until I got married." I remember thinking it was lame at the time, but I was comparing her in my mind to girls like UB Peyton, who had awesome grades and wanted to go to a prestigious law school. I just remember thinking that Brooke was so shallow (only hot girls in the skit) and lame and antiquated and I didn't want to join there at all. I just had such a bad, negative feeling after Skit Night, but I was determined to plug on.

I know a lot of people have/had problems with retro rush threads but really it's nice to be able to see all of this honesty and you not having to worry it'll affect you negatively, or that it might end up badly and you'll never finish your story.

Haha I think what I'm trying to say in way too many words is that this recruitment story is amazing and I want more.

Wowwwww Host Brooke SUCKS! Lame lame lame!

PEYTON! PEYTON! PEYTON!

Enjoying your story! Can't wait to hear more.


ETA: Can someone clue this old lady into what TRL is?

Total Request Live. It was a show on MTV (it might still be on for all I know) that Carson Daly hosted at its most popular. It had videos and celebrity guests and a live studio audience.

Total Request Live. It was a show on MTV hosted by Carson Daly. They had actors/musicians come to the show to plug their newest movies or songs. There was a live audience and they would show videos (I think). I rarely watch TRL, mostly passed by it during my channel surfing.

TRL is still on, but considering mothership MTV hardly shows videos at all anymore, I don't think they have the call in aspect - how could they? Call in the video you liked on youtube?

This has to be one of my favorite recruitment stories. I really hope everything turns (turned? :P) out for you well in the end! I must say, I'm pushing for Haley...

As far as TRL goes, it's still on but it's not what it used to be in it's prime. They still show the music videos, but it's only about 30 seconds of each video. Also, they have infected it with TRL Spring Break in Cancun '08 and TRL Summer in Miami, so it's just one big drunken naked party on MTV. It annoys me.

i love this story! haha
keep going pleeeease

i'm hooked.

UPDATE PLEASE!!!

NeverNeverNeverNeverNeverNeverNever leave the PNM ALONE! Bad Brooke! Bad! Go to your room!

I'm reveling in the honesty of this story - we don't usually get to hear the PNMs thoughts so in-depth. I might have to do one of these threads myself!

I've spent the last couple of hours bouncing back and forth to this threat while doing other stuff till finally I got so hooked that I just sat down. :) I forgot how much fun it is to read these things! Keep going!

update, please:)

Hurry!!!!!!

Oh my gosh, when I started reading this thread, I saw how many posts there were and kind of hoped I'd get to read it all at once. Please please update! I'm at the edge of my seat!

I am tooo!!

I believe they now post people's comments about the video from the MTV website. People now mostly request online.

The thing about TRL is that it just seemed passe when I went through recruitment. I don't know if it was because I was in college and TRL is really more popular among the high school crowd, or if it was because just after the real bubble of TRL popularity passed. I remember TRL being HUGE my junior year of HS - some girls from my HS actually got into the studio and onto the show - and it was something everyone talked about. Maybe it's still cool with high schoolers?? I wouldn't know.

It's time for Day 3 of Recruitment! We could be invited back to a maximum of three parties.

I went and picked up my invitations with Roommate. (As a reminder, roommate had gone back to Peyton, Haley, and Lucas.) Both roommate and I had 2 invitations:

Peyton
Haley

It wasn't a surprise to either of us that Lucas and Brooke had cut us. I pretty much knew that would happen once I was abandoned during Skit Night and Roommate didn't really know very many Lucases. We were OK with our invitations since Peyton had been our #1 all along.

Now, in other news, both Hallmate and Floormate had been cut from Peyton. That left them with only Haley to go back to.

Hallmate was pleased. She hadn't been to fraternity parties at all first semester and didn't know any upperclass women except for the Haleys that had been in the theatre production with her. She basically wanted Haley all along and was happy because her attitude was "I only want to go to the groups that really want me and this way I only go to the group I really want to anyway." A very good attitude.

Floormate, on the other hand, was devastated. She was crying. I remember sitting in our dorm room (Roommate and I had a big corner room, probably one of the biggest freshmen dorm rooms in the entire school, and it was a major place to hang out - people were over 24/7. We also had the only TV on the hall, which encouraged people to come too.) Anyway, Floormate was just sitting there in racking sobs. She was so worried that Roommate and I would pledge Peyton and she would go Haley alone (nevermind that Hallmate was set on Haley, Floormate was still freaking out). Quite honestly it was Roommate's and my plan to do exactly that (unless one of us got cut from Peyton), so Floormate probably wasn't unjustified in that fear... I do remember thinking why was she spending so much energy on this? She must have freaked out for an hour or more.

So pretty soon it was time for Sisterhood Night. This was basically a video night where the sororities showed a sisterhood-themed video.

My outfit for Sisterhood Night still makes me cringe. When I bought it and when I put it on I thought it was a good outfit. But when I got to the houses I realized it was all wrong. The dress code was basically a "church outfit". As in skit and top. I was wearing a grey, blue, and lavender plaid wool skirt (this element of the outfit was OK) with a fitted white sweater (OK, although I wish I'd gone for a blue or lavender sweater) and a lavender jacket (ACK! ACK! ACK!). I don't think I can adequately describe why this jacket was so bad. It wasn't a blazer (although that would have been inappropriate too). It was like... a mom church jacket. I don't know if that makes sense but that's the best way I can describe it. When I got to the parties I felt flat out frumpy. All the other girls were wearing dressier skirt/top combinations. I sort of looked like a 40-year old woman. Like I said, I think the basic idea of the outfit could have worked out without the jacket and with a different sweater... but man oh man. I still wonder if this jacket hurt me in recruitment.

1. Peyton - I went to Peyton first. I was again picked up by someone I didn't know. She was a sophomore, at least. We watched the video while seated in chairs beside our rusher and the rushers described what was going on in the video. The Peyton did a really good job of explaining what was happening in the video. After the video she showed me around Peyton's formal living room. I believe we talked in a bigger group with some other PNMs here for a while. I think our conversations went pretty well, but I just remember feeling ugly and frumpy in my outfit (why the hell I didn't ditch the jacket midway through or something I don't know). I am betting this affected my conversation. I remember thinking the Peyton was friendly but somewhat cold behind the friendliness. I felt like she didn't really like me. I didn't speak to anyone else that night because Peyton wasn't bumping. I really think my outfit inhibited my social skills and confidence. :(

2. Haley - I have more trouble remembering this party than any other during the whole week of recruitment. I don't know why that is. I was picked up by a Haley sophomore I didn't know. She was really quiet. I could tell that from the beginning. Unlike the Peyton, who had talked throughout the video to the point where I missed a lot of the images because I was looking at the rusher, the Haley was quiet through a lot of the video and spoke up here and there describing things. I believe we walked around a bit after. I don't remember if I got to go the formal dining room (the first night you can see those on my campus is Sisterhood Night). Again, I felt awkward in my outfit, but I was less uncomfortable about that at Haley because I didn't think they would judge me as harshly on clothing as Peyton might.

I left the parties feeling a bit frumpy and ugly but not nearly as depressed as I had been after the horrid Brooke party on Skit Night. I was getting ready for Preference Night and for recruitment to be over.

oh my gosh y'all - I just realized I made a huge mistake. Halfway through this thread I SWITCHED Brooke and Lucas. It's not a super-big deal because once recruitment started I have it correct - it's just the pre-rush stuff. I'm going to go back and switch the early posts to reflect what I've been posting for the days of recruitment so far. But to clarify:

-Host Brooke was the Brooke who drank illegally in the dorms and later abandoned me at a rush party
-Two Doors Down was a Brooke who told me not to go to my college if I didn't drink and that no sorority would want me if I didn't drink
-My Official University Big who abandoned me was a Brooke
-Brooke had a reputation for having a lot of athletes
-Host Lucas who I shared views with was a Lucas
-The cool girl from my French class was a Lucas
-I went into recruitment having almost no impression of Lucas except that they were relatively attractive and a negative impression of Brooke

I hope that clarifies things! I'll go back and edit the older posts now.

^^^I thought something was weird about that! I was getting more confused by the minute, but I just chalked it up to the painkillers. :o Carry on.

I hope every pnm reads this thread. It has been a long time for me but this thread brings back a lot of memories of the highs and lows of recruitment. The honesty is awesome. No situation is perfect but it is how we react to the outcome that makes us who we are and who we will be. Recruitment is rarely perfect and there are a lot of tears on both sides of the fence but in reality, if we allow it, a perfect home is found and a lot of life's lessons are learned along the way. Great job, 20something.

I'm glad that you're liking it. It's something I wanted to share for a long time but I was nervous how it would be perceived.

Ready for the next installment? OK then.

So the day of Prefs everyone was freaking out about where they would be invited. Floormate was still freaking out about whether she would join Haley or withdraw. Roommate and I were extremely nervous about Peyton.

We went to pick up our invitations. Roommate went first. She went in and came out looking totally down. I knew right away what had happened. She confirmed that she had been cut from Peyton. I knew this was a really bad sign.

I was next in to pick up my invitation list. My Rho Chi was sitting there and handed it over. I knew when she handed it to me what it said because I could tell from the look on her face. My Rho Chi was a very intuitive person and had known from early in the fall that I really wanted Peyton. I opened my list and it said





















Haley.

Peyton had cut me. I was pretty crushed. I felt even worse about the awkward outfit and like I had REALLY not impressed the Peyton sophomore that picked me up. (As an aside, I didn't really get to know this girl until my junior year when Hallmate got to know her rather well, because both of them were involved in APO. Then I decided she was a pretty nice person.) BUT... I had one thing going for me. I knew that Roommate was also only invited back to Haley and we would pledge together. There was not really a question of us dropping out... ever.

We got back to our dorm and eventually saw Floormate. She was thrilled that we'd been cut from Peyton and that the three of us would pledge Haley together if possible. Frankly, this pissed off Roommate and I a bit. It was like she'd been glad we were cut or something.

In other news: Hallmate had been cut from Haley. That's right, Hallmate would not be receiving a bid to any sorority. :( She was really crushed. I won't get into it any further out of respect for her.

I didn't know what had happened to Girls from Across the Street (remember, all of them but one had wanted to join Peyton), but I was pretty sure they would be getting Peyton.

I still wondered what might have happened if my University Big Peyton had been there for recruitment.

For preference night parties I wore a really pretty class purple shift dress with purple shoes. I love that dress still - I only just gave it to Goodwill a few weeks ago. It will never go out of style.

1. Haley's recruitment party! I was disappointed and embarrassed to be only invited back to one party, but after seeing Hallmate's experience I was glad to be invited back anywhere. I was also relieved to be scheduled for the second Haley preference party. Otherwise I would have had to go back to the cafeteria early to fill out my preference card and that seemed like it would have been really mortifying.

Haley's preference party was good. I was picked up by the girl from my area that had given me rides home in the past and went to my church on campus. She made things feel really informal and natural. I was actually starting to get nervous about whether or not I would get a bid to Haley. When they served chocolate-covered strawberries I bit into mine and lo and behold the chocolate coating fell off all over me. I was so embarrassed (my clothes weren't stained, thankfully), but the Haley made me feel that it was really alright.

The preference ceremony was good. The chapter members wore all white, which I did not feel was the most flattering selection. The president (I believe I mentioned her before) was a larger girl and it just wasn't the most flattering look for her... She gave an introductory speech. One thing that was interesting was that the Haleys had a bowl of floating candles (ILLEGAL! ILLEGAL!). Each PNM was led up to light a candle at one point in the ceremony. At one point, the candles actually caught some of the other decor on the table on fire. :eek: BUT - The president handled it really well. She just took some water from the bowl and doused the mini-fire and made a really funny comment and went on with the ceremony. It made me realize that she was pretty poised and hilarious despite being what I considered the negative image of Haley. One thing that I didn't like, though, was having to get up in front of everyone to light the candle, and the fact that Haley had some of their members singing softly throughout the ceremony - it was sort of distracting.

Then Haley had a member come forward and talk about when her mother passed away during her freshman year of college. She spoke about how the Haleys had gotten her to the airport and helped her pack her things and everything. When she got back to campus, she found a small symbol of the sorority hanging on her dorm room doorknob. It was a really small thing but she described how much it meant to her. She felt like people were always watching over her. So that was nice.

I talked to Hometown Haley for a bit longer... I felt like she was a bit nervous about "closing the deal" but I felt really confident that they had paired me with someone who knew me really well and knew how to make me feel comfortable. So it was good. I remember really liking the Haley song as we were led out.

So we all walked in silence to the cafeteria.

I filled out my preference card. I didn't take too long compared to other people. I noticed Roommate took longer than me and I was seriously worried that she would not put Haley on her card.

I marked down:

1. Haley
2. Peyton
3. Nathan

I don't know why I bothered putting Peyton and Nathan. I think I was convinced that maybe somehow, some way, I might still end up in one of them. LOL.

On the way out of the cafeteria I met another PNM I knew. I asked her where she had preferenced. She said she was going Haley! This surprised me a bit because I knew this girl was from a really nice family and elite high school in Texas. I had assumed she would not go to Haley. So I was really pleased to hear that. I felt she would make a good pledge sister. I knew that she was REALLY close with one of the Girls from Across the Street - specifically the one who had stood up in front of the rest of us and said she wanted Haley and not Peyton (much to our surprise), so I asked about what that PNM had done. The Texas PNM got a really weird look on her face and said that she wasn't totally sure, but she thought that girl was going to pledge Peyton. I was so surprised. That girl had said Haley or nothing! It seemed weird to me that things had reversed so much.

I went and talked to one of my guy friends that night. This was the guy who'd gone to Christmas formal with my roommate and who was hoping to pledge MOR/Central. The one who'd visited me at home over Christmas break and I felt there might be chemistry developing between us. He's the one who had gone to the same HS as my first short-lived college boyfriend and who was using the ex as an in to MOR/Central. I knew that this guy was kind of an elitist in certain ways and I just wanted to know what he'd think of me now that I was going Haley.

I got really emotional when I got to his room. I sort of surprised myself - but I hadn't show any emotion about all of this so far, so I guess it was high time. I told him I just couldn't understand why Peyton had cut me. I sat there and sort of blubbered a bit and he started rubbing my back. I asked him if he knew anything. He asked did I want him to be honest. He said yes.

He said that over Christmas break he'd gotten together with my ex to drink and hang out. They started talking about sorority recruitment and my ex had told him "well, 20something won't be getting Peyton, I've made sure of that."

That was really shocking to me. Remember, my ex was the one who orchestrated me hanging out with his Peyton friends a lot. I knew my ex was angry at me - first because I wouldn't have sex with him and secondly because I had yelled at him for breaking up with me. And there was the possibility he might have been mad at me for puking in his room the weekend he was at a tennis tournament too. But I never thought that the ex would purposely try to sabotage me or even invest that much thought into my recruitment.

A part of me still wonders if this is true. Older and wiser, I know that a lot of times guys *think* they have a ton of influence over sorority recruitment - and they don't really, or at least they don't have as much influence as they flatter themselves they do. So I don't know. I think he probably did say something to some of his Peyton friends. Did they listen to him? Is that why I was cut there? I will never know.

My friend was really supportive though. I actually think I asked him if he would still hang out with me if I was a Haley. He said of course and said a lot of really encouraging stuff about how I could help Haley improve and I would still be liked. He made me feel a lot better. He was just so kind and mature about the whole thing - not at all like a freshman boy.

I went back to my dorm room to chat with my roommate. She had finished by then and she DID list Haley so I was happy. I think she might have put it second, but she still listed it. Our Rho Chi came by to talk to us and chat. First of all, she was worried about Hallmate because Hallmate was shut in her room and refusing to talk to her. :( Secondly, she wanted to check on Roommate and I and see if we were OK about Peyton cutting us. She told us a story about how one of her friends had been crushed to be cut from a certain house and joined another and became Little Miss That House (I later put two-and-two-together on who this was).

Roommate and I flat out asked the Rho Chi about how bid lists were put together and more specifically how voting was conducted. We were both terrified of not making it into Haley somehow. I'll be honest and say my Rho Chi told me a lot of detail about how her sorority's membership process worked. Info I know must be correct. She explained how voting for bid lists was done and this really reassured us. I know some of you might fault her for doing this, but I know she trusted us and I believe telling us frankly how the voting was conducted was one of the most compassionate things she could have done. I was so impressed with her and still am. I remember thinking, gosh, I hope she's not a Brooke just because she's an athlete. Isn't that awful? LOL.

So we went to bed in much anticipation of Bid Day.

Wow, I can't believe your ex would do something like that - obviously not someone you would want to be with.

I'm so excited for the final installment - keep it coming!