Me either. I got married this past October, just shy of my 27th birthday. I had several friends who got married, and divorced, or are still unhappily married who got married before they were 25. In fact, I cant think of a single friend of mine who DID get married before 25, who is still married, happily.

My friend Melissa married her HS sweetheart at 21. They didnt make it a year. They didnt make it 6 months. He was a complete prick of a mama's boy anyway. (Told her she was a bad wife because she did things differently than his mom - they got into arguments about the proper way to fold towels.:rolleyes:)

Jennifer also married at 21. She and Jon were friends of mine from the navy. She shipped out for a 6 month deployment 2 months after their wedding. By the time she had returned, he had been cheating on her, and so her reaction was turnabout was fair play. They tried to work things out for over a year, but he was dragging her on a string. They finally divorced last June, but SURPRISE, they are dating again now. Who knows what's up with them?

Sarah married at 22, 6 months after graduating college. She's still married, but she's not happy. Adam has dominated her life. In fact, for my bridal shower, my bridesmaids had all the women who wanted to, to write me a letter and seal it up and put on the envelope when the appropriate time was for me to open it. She and I had grown apart, didnt see each other as often as we used to. Her letter to me said "Open when you are lonely." I opened it about a month and a half ago, and it said something along the lines of "Call me, I miss you. Adam has dominated my life Adam has his friends and my friends are gone. Don't let your husband do the same to you that I've allowed Adam to do to me."

My husband was married once before. He married at 19. Within 3 months they weren't living together anymore, and for whatever reason, they didnt actually divorce until about 2 years later.

Luckily, none of these friends I mentioned above had kids....but I have some casual acquaintances from high school who didnt go to college, got married within 2 years of graduating high school, and have 2+ kids today. Do I envy them? Yeah right - not in the least. Thanks, I have a life of my own to live before I worry about feeding another mouth, thanks. I loved being able to go out with my friends whenever the heck I wanted. I loved being in school, and having spring break, and going on a cruise. I loved being able to drop whatever it was, and fly across the country to see an old navy friend's Chief Pinning ceremony, just because. There are too many things to hold you back once you settle down. Your 20s are not the time to do it. Yeah, I'm 27 and married now, which is earlier than some, or alot of people, but even if I wasn't I dont think it would have been the end of the world.

Live your life and have fun for you while you can. Screw what anybody else says or thinks.

I know. The thing that was so bad is that I DID call her, and we went to dinner, and we stayed and chatted for a LONG time - we met at Fridays atabout 6:30, and about 9:15, we started to head home. Of course, Adam called her 3 times during the course of our evening wondering why it was taking her so long. He's such a prick. It used me be a group of 4 of us: Sarah, Cynthia, Melissa (the same Melissa from above) and I - we'd always hang out. But Sarah kept turning down our invites, so eventually, we quit calling her, which is why we grew apart. I got her new email address and have been emailing her lately, so I'm hoping we'll be able to hang out more and that she'll begin to come around....

My favorite reply:

"I think marriage is a wonderful institution; but, I'm not ready to be institutionalized."

Katharine Hepburn said: "Why aren't I married? Why trade the adulation of many men for the criticism of one?"

I don't get asked this question per se, but I get asked "So are you dating anyone yet?" quite a bit. Everytime I go into work actually. I work at a hospital and no matter WHAT ward I'm on, I'll run into at least one person who wants to set me up. I just say "I am seeing someone. See that bag full of textbooks? We've been together since August. Jealous type, doesn't like to share me with anybody." ;) Oh, and the ever popular "You're still a virgin? Oh, we'll have to fix that" as though I'm broken. :rolleyes: Once someone asked me that and I said "Your boyfriend is still married?"

She had it coming. :rolleyes:

I have yet to be asked why I'm not married yet, being that I'm only 22 and still have a year left of undergrad. But, I so often get, "Why don't you have a boyfriend?" or "Why aren't you dating?"

How about...BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO. I made the choice not to date when my last boyfriend broke up with me. After three years of revolving my life around someone so much that I literally lost myself--I'm not going to jump into another relationship with just some random John. I decided not to date and it's been the best two years I've ever had. I've worried about ME, WHAT I WANT TO DO, WHERE I WANT TO GO, SPENDING MY TIME HOW I WANT TO SPEND IT.

I'm still finding myself and digging myself out of the horrible hole I let him put me in, but for the first time in 5 years I know myself, accept myself, and love myself. I don't need a man to validate me, tell me I'm gorgeous--I can do all of that myself--FOR FREE.

I'm not rushing into a boyfriend and I'm not going to rush into marriage. And, I don't need kids--I have two chinchillas to care for.:p

They are asking you about the boyfriend b/c you are supposed to meet your husband in college. If you don't have a boyfriend then you can't be running straight for the alter the day after you graduate! Didn't you know that's what we women are supposed to do. Here you are trying to find yourself and be your own person..... you rulebreaker!! ;)

I know you're being sarcastic, but I never even heard of the finding your husband/wife in college expectation, until I started reading these types of threads on GC.

I know this doesn't answer the OP's question, but people will continue to ask about your personal life, even after you get married.
My husband and I got married June, 2006...and since then, EVERYONE's asked "When are y'all having kids?" And I've had people tell me that once we have a child, people will just ask when the next one will be here.

Seriously? Good for you. I had the unfortunate experience of actually knowing women who would brag that they were at a private university to get their "MRS. degree" since they assumed that they guys there were from wealthy backgrounds. Yes, they would openly admit that. :eek:

I know some "MRS. Degree" girls too and I go to a big northern public school!

I think it is awesome that you never had to hear that kind of junk! I always heard from my family that since I was going away from home for college then I must be looking to marry a rich, southern man. :rolleyes: I was in shock b/c I wasn't going to college to find a husband, I was going to college so I could be a professional!

I do sadly know a few girls who stuck around college just long enough to lock in a well-off guy and then dropped out. they said they didn't need an education b/c they had a rich husband. I'll admit I was totally appaulled.

When my first boyfriend broke up with me in 9th grade, my mother said "It doesn't matter because, in college, you'll find a wonderful Morehouse Man who will love you for just who you are." :eek: Mind you, I was 14 and planning to go to Tuskegee, but she was convinced I'd marry a Morehouse Man no matter what state I went to school in. I guess they're supposed to be omnipresent. :rolleyes:

I simply tell people that I love my life and the freedom (and lifeskills) being Single has afforded me!

I could have been married many times but I've opted to wait for the right partner.

I'm 37 and have a boyfriend - but I've never been married.

Wow. I see a lot of single women here. I am from Liberia and I am looking for my queen. I am looking for a woman who can arouse my intellect as well as my loins.

Your lions? OH, your loins!

Isn't this a line from "Coming to America"? I think I remember Eddie Murphy saying this to Arsenio.

Ding ding!

My parents asked me this yesterday (actually they told me I was "getting old" and I had to hurry up...Im 23 btw). It pissed me off. I know the only reason they are asking/mentioning it is because my 24 year old cousing just got engaged and is getting hitched in October. I have a bf of 3 years+ so apparently according to my family I should be engaged/married. The icing on the cake was when my mom told me that they wouldnt be able to pay for a wedding for me anyways:mad:!! So apparently my quickie wedding is going to be a lavish ceremony in the downtown courthouse. Yea..im in SUCH a hurry now..:rolleyes::rolleyes:

I'm finishing my first year of grad school and am approaching 23...I'm "getting old" as well, so I'm right there with ya. :cool: I went to a theme park with a guy friend who lives in my apartment building last week. All my friends know I've liked him for months and were so excited that I'm "finally dating."

I told them that wasn't a date, it was a go-see. :rolleyes: Definitely not marrying that one, he was such a punk.

The bonus to me not being married yet: My parents have had time to go to many tasteless or plain out tacky weddings. They also did quite a bit of stuff for my brother's wedding themselves. Their response to this? "Honey, when you get married we'll just pay for whatever you want."
It might me long coming but it'll be pretty...

Ugh, I got too many combinations of "Are you seeing anyone?" "When are you going to get married?'" at a cousin's wedding this weekend that I stopped counting when I hit the double digits. This is why family get-togethers make me ill. And I've got three cousins that are currently engaged - one who's my age, one who's 20 and one who's 21. Yay. I really wanted to be snotty and respond that unlike one of my younger cousins who's already on round two, I'm planning on only doing this once, but I didn't.

LOLOL...Yall are a mess how's 23 old? I will be 33 in Sept...now that's a number for ya! Don't even think about marriage until your 30! I promise there's little light that will go on and then your like...who's this woman..smile! Take your time-God will bring him to you just work on you and being the best YOU-you can be!

I Love the "go see" comment! I am gonna have to use that..LOL!:D

I do have a boyfriend (of a year) but luckily no one has been asking me when I'm going to get married. I'm 22 and have no plans to get married anytime soon. To me, an ideal time to be married is between 26-30...I want to be sure of myself and what I want in a marriage. Also I want to have experienced life on my own for a little while.

I didn't really meet any one in college that was just looking for their MRS. degree. That might be more of a Southern thing than a Northeast thing?? I don't really know.

I have to disagree with those of you who are saying there's a "right age" to get married... whether it's 23, 25, 30, etc. If and when you meet a person that you want to spend the rest of your life with, grow old with, maybe raise children with... that's the right time.

Depends on which college, it's a Southern thing. Flagship Universities and really good private colleges are chockfull of these girls. SMU is the worst about this sort of thing in my opinion. Arkansas' got quite a bit ourselves.

Yeah. I got married at 23. We are very happy and I don't feel like I've ever had to compromise the freedom of my 20s...sometimes we go out together, and sometimes we go out with our individual friends. We travel widely (both together and separately - he's heading to Hong Kong this fall for a legal competition). We've both advanced quickly in our separate and time-consuming careers (journalism for me, law for him). We both have hobbies that the other supports but isn't involved in (triathlons and running for me, photography for him). I'm not sure why y'all seem to feel that you have to be single to do these things. Maybe I'm just lucky I didn't marry a control freak?

I never get the "When are you having kids?" question in DC, but I get it all the time from my dad's family. My dad has 9 brothers and sisters, and all of them except for him still live in the same rural Indiana town they grew up in. Most of them are farmers and married young and started having kids right away to ensure they would have enough farmhands. I am the oldest of 42 grandkids and the first (by one month) to get married, so of course they expected me to be the first to have kids and they were mostly incredulous when I said we were waiting until our 30s. It's just a difference in regional social norms.

Maybe I'm not reading this thread correctly, but most of the people who mentioned a "right age" to get married were speaking more of a "right age" to get married for THEM, and not for the other 6.1 billion inhabitants of this planet. I don't see anyone criticizing people who marry early.


I know I'm shocked by the number of people in my HS class who married before 21 and are now divorced. I look at the MySpace pages of my classmates who are in that situation, and they're doing the same stupid stuff at 27 that I did in college and just after--they didn't have that experience when they were younger and it seems to have had a MAJOR impact on their adult lives than it did for me. Did these people get married too early? It's not for me to say. Did they get married before getting certain things out of their system? It appears that way, certainly.

A lot of the posters here who married right out of college or soon after got "those things" out of their system. Even something as simple as joining the Greek system, studying abroad, or just not going straight from Daddy's house to your husband's house can give you a ton of freedom and perspective. Again, the mid-20s divorcees I know did not have those experiences. Coincidence? I think not.

Oh my goodness, the mid 20's divorcees. I LOLed at this because I totally can relate. Quite a few girls from my HS got married before 21 and are now divorced and I agree that it "stunted" them a little bit in the life experiences department.

A girl I know married a Marine at age 20, moved to NC, and decided on being a stay at home mom after they had a little girl. So she didn't go to college. Last year she got a divorce. Her MySpace contains an album entitled "I <3 Jagerbombs and kissing random boys" next to an album of "I love my little girl." I'm pretty sure I had Jagerbombs and randoms out of my system about halfway through college, but she missed out on the part of life where that sort of thing is expected.

We're not, but the nosy family members think we are--that's the joke. ;)

I've decided I'm not looking for anyone to date. If a man falls into my lap, then great, but I think I'd prefer not to date at all until I graduate and move. School takes up too much of my time to go looking for "The One." Besides, I've decided that God hasn't given him to me because he's not ready yet. God knows I deserve more than half-baked! I want him to be done with all his foolishness and ready for a life with me before I meet him. I can wait. :)

It might just be that you're not ready yet. You have professional (i.e. school and career) and personal things to iron out.

Sure, the man might be getting ready for you, but he might be fully ready and God is having him wait while you get ready. :) Or you're both not ready.

You won't know until you know. Your post is very mature and patient, though.

At first I was :rolleyes:, but heck what you said is true. Good perspective, Chaos. :D

It does make me feel a little better that he might be out there flustered and waiting on me, though. Let me hold onto that one. :o

Just different ways to look at "the unknown." :)

And :p @ flustered...you're so vain.

http://www.80stees.com/images/produc...urf-Statue.jpg

Only a little. :o

When I get that question I usually come back with "Why does the sun rise on one side and set on the other? Its just the way God intended it to be" That usually gets the point across.

Alot of people look at being single as a death sentence, as if you can do nothing if you are not married or dating! To them I say :p

"I haven't finished sowing my oats yet."

"Why haven't you gotten more attractive since the last time you asked me that? I have received three engagment offers, a sugar daddy offer and a free week's stay at the Holiday Inn Express."

I'm 20 and I've been getting this from my stepmom's father since I was 17--seriously!

When I went off to college, he said I'd come back pregnant, like that was a good thing!

This is a man with 6 kids and probably 4 or 5 of them started college and never finished. All of them have kids now (several have 3 or 4) and nearly all of them are STRUGGLING. I don't know what to say except I DONT WANT YER LIFE!

I'm pretty sure I won't be mentioning my boyfriend to anyone on their side of the family until I get engaged. RUDE.