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-   -   know any good jokes... (https://greekchat.com/gcforums/showthread.php?t=9452)

Serenity 08-02-2000 04:05 PM

That's hilarious! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif

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Sigma Lambda Upsilon: Sincerity, Loyalty, Unity http://www.sigmalambdaupsilon.org

DeltaBetaBaby 08-02-2001 02:32 AM

Noone has posted on this thread in exactly a year, but I thought I would revive it.

Three nuns are at the gate to heaven, and St. Peter says they must each answer a question before getting it.

He asks the first one "What was the name of the first woman?"

"Eve," she replies, and the gates open for her.

He asks the second one "Where did she live?"

"The garden of Eden," she answers, and the gates open for her.

The third one was Mother Superior, so her question was a little harder, "What did Eve say when she first saw Adam?"

"Hmmm..." she says, "That's a hard one..."

--and the gates open for her.

KABillyMac 08-02-2001 10:20 AM

This isnt a joke but its funny none the less. Where I work there is not much communication between engineers and the union workers, so sometimes when I am on the shop floor union people will walk up to me and intiate a conversation, just to get to know you or to have something to run and gossip about. Anyway, this guy on the line walked up to me yesterday, introduced himself, then he said, billy, you look like a good country boy, you ever do and coon hunting? I said yes, i used to hunt all the time and I had a good dog, but I quit coon huntin when I came to college and I traded my dog for a pressure washer. He said, I dont do any coon hunting, but I sure do have a good squirrel dog, and if it trees a squirrel and sticks one leg out, there is 1 squirrel in the tree, if he lays on his back and sticks 2, 3, or 4 legs in the air, thats how many squirrel are in the tree, and if he lays on his back, sticks four legs in the air, and sticks his tail up his ass, that means that there are 4 squirrels in the tree, and they ran in a hole. (rimshot)

aephi alum 08-02-2001 07:49 PM

I love these jokes! http://www.greekchat.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif OK, here goes:

Three men die and go up to heaven. St. Peter meets them at the pearly gates and says, "I'm sorry, but we only have space for one of you in heaven. Tell me the stories of how you died, and I'll let in the one with the most interesting story."

The first man says: "I've been suspecting my wife of having an affair for some time. I came home early from work today, and searched the apartment for her lover. I finally found him dangling from our balcony. So I got the frying pan from the kitchen and hit his hands with it until he let go and fell 7 stories to the ground. But he was still alive, so I went into the kitchen and pushed the refrigerator onto the balcony and over it to land on him and kill him. But the stress was so great that I had a heart attack and died."

The second man says: "I'm a window washer. I was cleaning a window on the 8th floor of an apartment building when I slipped and fell. Luckily I was able to grab the railing of a balcony on the 7th floor. As I was about to pull myself up, some idiot started hitting my hands and I was forced to let go and fall to the ground. I was still alive, and I looked up just in time to see a refrigerator falling toward me. It hit me and I died instantly."

The third man says, "Well, I was hiding in this refrigerator..."

James 08-04-2001 10:48 PM

Three men are standing before Saint Peter at Heaven's Gates.

Peter asks each one whether he was unfaithful to his wife.

The first one replies, "well yes a lot."

St. Peter issues him a compact car and he drives into heaven.

The second one replies, "Very seldom."

He gets a mid sized sedan and drives off.

The third one replies, "Never in 40 years of marriage."

St. Peter is impressed and gives him Rolls Royce.

2 Days later the first two guys run across the third crying on a curb. "what's wrong" they ask, "Heaven's Great you have an awesome car . . .?"

The third guy responds, "I just saw my wife, she went by on a pair of roller skates!"

James 08-04-2001 10:55 PM

Two men and woman are trapped on a deserted island. They were happy with their arrangement with each other until the woman died.

Two weeks later they were so ashamed of what they were doing they burried her.

Two weeks after that they were so ashamed at what they were doing . . . they dug her back up again.

DeltaBetaBaby 08-05-2001 12:26 AM

ha, ha, james...i am embarassed to admit that i had to read that one a few times before i got it.

CRMSNTiDEGRL717 08-05-2001 05:45 PM

A blonde and a brunette are on an elevator w/ a man. When the man gets off on his floor the brunette comments that he needed head and shoulders. The blonde replied "I know how you give head, but how do you give shoulders?" Stupid, yeah I know.

Here's a somewhat trashy/mean one. No one be offended. A woman w/ no legs or arms is laying on the beach. When a very handsome young man walks by, she calls him over. She tells him she's so embarrased b/c she's never been kissed before and wondered if he would do her the honor. He replies "sure." After they kiss for awhile, she says ya know I've never been F*%#ed, would you mind? He again replies "sure." He then picks her up walks to the ocean waves and throws her in the water and say, "there. Now you're f&%*ed."

AXiD Sweetie 11-06-2004 03:08 AM

Okay, I'm going to revive this thread... Does anyone have any good jokes???

BetteDavisEyes 11-07-2004 05:34 AM

MARK YOUR CALENDAR FOR NEXT SATURDAY!

As you may already know, it is a sin for a Taliban male to see any woman other than his wife naked & that he must commit suicide if he does.
So this upcoming Saturday at 4 p.m. eastern time, all American women are asked to walk out of their houses completely naked to help week out any neighborhood terrorists. Circling your block for one hour is recommended for this anti-terrorist effort.
All men are to position themselves in lawn chairs in front of their houses to prove they are not Taliban & to demonstrate that they think it's o.k. to see women other than their wives nude & to show support for all American women.
And since the Taliban also does not approve of alcohol, a cold 6-pack at your side is further proof of your anti-taliban sentiment.
The American government appreciates your efforts to root out terrorists & applauds your participation in this anti-terrorist activity.
God Bless America.
It is your patriotic duty to pass this on.


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