Agreed! :)

Sounds like a good plan! And have that candlelight! I think that would be awesome for your baby's Baby Book! :)

i think having a candlelight to announce your engagement would be lovely and you should do it. ZTA candlelights are for lavaliering, pinning, engagements and sometimes when a orphaned sister is adopted by another ZTA family.

before you plan a candlelight to announce your pregnancy, please check to see if it would be okay with your chapters ec, the advisors or the province president.

while it is sweet that some of you are encouraging ztaberry to have a candlelight to announce her pregnancy, it is really a decision that ztaberry and her chapter, advisors and/or province president need to decide.

OOPS! Sorry if I've misstepped!

no need to apologize. as similar as all our orgs. are, we do do some things differently :).

I think Ill probably wait until late february to announce my engagement, I just told my big sister at lunch today and her and I are gonna really think about how to best break the news to my chapter, if we should do the candleight, but she is very happy for me, but understands that the whole chapter might not be so supportive. Our biggest concern besides the baby is the reputation of our chapter, we are in very high standings at our school and i would hate to jeopardize that, especially before spring rush. Im sure most of you guys understand how competitive it can get.

I absolutely love zeta and I really hate the thought of dropping, I wish there was some way to have the best of both worlds but my priorities are changing so much! On the brightside if its a girl it would be a legacy and if its a boy it would be a triple legacy for pi kappa phi, so itll be very greek... If only i could name it themis... haha

ZLAM

Remember, you aren't dropping ZTA. You are taking early alumna status. Two very different things.

Good luck with everything. As for names for a girl, you do have some founders you could name the baby after! :p

i am so glad you brought that up. going early alum. just grants you alumna status ;you are still a zeta! you just don't have the obligations of attending weekly chapter meetings, socials, sisterhoods or paying dues-which will be a blessing because babies cost a lot-diapers, stroller, diaper bag, clothes, crib-it goes on and on, but is so much fun to shop for them!

i am sure that your chapter will let you participate in anything that you would like to-and as for recruitment, you could assist as an alumna and go home after the last party and not have to stay up all night voting!

First of all, congratulations on your pregnancy and engagement. I just wanted to say, I highly doubt the older girls will condemn you for being pregnant - being wild/sleeping around and getting pregnant by accident and having a baby within a committed relationship where marriage is intended are two VERY different things. I would hope that even those sisters who look down on the behavior of the younger members can remember that and not be judgmental.

Good luck for a safe, healthy and happy pregnancy, and hopefully your sisters will be thrilled for you and help you celebrate. Plus you'll have a guaranteed pool of babysitters! ;)

one of our chapter members is pregnant and announced it during a candle passing at Chapter. She was engaged beforehand, and this was just another new suprise for us! We're all very supportive of her, as I'm sure your sisters will be of you

hey everyone I wannna express my gratitude to all of you for your supportive emails and replies.

Tonight I stood up in front of my chapter and told them first that I was engaged and then that I am expecting. I told them how much they mean to me and how much their sisterhood has meant to me, but because Im on a 18 hour course load ( A BIG COURSELOAD!) and Im dealing with the stresses and pains of pregnancy it is best for me drop. I told them that even though I am no longer gonna be an active member than I will always consider them my sisters and I hope that they will always consider me their sister.

After I told them they all came and gave me hugs and asked to see the ring ( 3 carats fyi) and told me congrats and that no matter what I am always their sister. I chose not to go alumna because it really isnt something that interests me at this point in my life and I have much bigger things to worry about than being in a sorority. It doesnt change how I feel about my sisters and I firmly believe thats how they feel about me.

And to add a little twist to it, when i got home I had a message on my facebook from another sister in the pledge class above mine telling me she is also pregnant and got engaged! Our due dates are only 4 days apart and her and I are gonna help each other and continue our sisterhood!

Again thanks to you all and wish me luck as i start this new chapter in my life!
ZLAM

ztaberry, as much as I'm sure you've thought about this and as much as I want to support your decision as your sister, I am really saddened that you are dropping rather than going alum. Many women later in life regret this very decision and it is much harder to try and get reinstated than it is to just merely get involved in a local alumnae chapter after having been inactive for a while. I urge you to reconsider this decision - being considered alum does not mean you have to continue to give up much of your time as your chapter dictates in undergrad. The saying that you get what you put in applies even more to women who are alumnae. Of course no one will be upset if you go alum and are not able to give to ZTA what you have been so far - you have a lot on your plate, but that's not to say that in the future you won't be able to or want to participate and contribute to ZTA. True, sorority life may not "interest you" right now, but you don't know how you'll feel in 10 years. Before you go through with de-badging, think hard about what brought you to ZTA. I'm not saying that the women you call sisters now won't still love and support you as such when you leave, but being an alumna, you will continue to meet other sisters who will love and support you also and I for one could never imagine giving that up, at least not for good. I think FSUZeta had a good point: "i am so glad you brought that up. going early alum. just grants you alumna status ;you are still a zeta! you just don't have the obligations of attending weekly chapter meetings, socials, sisterhoods or paying dues-which will be a blessing because babies cost a lot-diapers, stroller, diaper bag, clothes, crib-it goes on and on..." Don't forget - Zeta is forever!

ZLAM,
Melissa

3 carats! Geeeeez!
ETA: I don't quite understand why you'd drop. Sisterhood is for life, and while pregnant, I can't imagine ZTA would expect too much from you during this busy period in your life.

3 carats? Guess they won't have to worry about how to provide for the baby. Even if the diamond is of poor quality, that's 10's of thousands of dollars. Not too shabby for a college kid. Though who would want to wear that every day...

This thread was believable until the 3 carats came in...

Please consider going alum. As an alum, you do not have to give any time to the organization...but if you ever want to, you can. The benefits of having sisters all over the world is amazing...later in life, when you move, etc. it's nice to have some roots already in place. And you are taking away legacy status from your baby if it's a little girl.

It is your decision, but I don't see what it would "hurt" to go alum.

Exactly what I was thinking. Unless it was 3 carats worth of little diamonds (not sure how that would fit on a ring, unless it was a 3-stone)....even that would be pretty expensive though...

ETA: The fact that she's got a chapter sister who's also pregnant and due within 4 days is also a bit suspect. O RLY?

Dang...who got you pregnant?

Donald Trump?

Maybe her fiance told her it was 3 carats and she doesn't know better...? J told me I had a total carat weight of 1.25 and then told me that the center stone was 0.75 and the side stones were 0.3 each, then the stones in the band equaled 0.25. Doesn't add up does it? Luckily, I knew better and called him on it - he didn't even know what he bought! He thought it was a platinum band until I looked at the receipt and saw 18 kt white gold! Poor guy, LOL. At least he bought with his heart. So, that may be the case...?

I would think a woman would know what 3 carats look like... But I guess it could be a 3-stone that's 1 TCW, and that's where she got 3 carats from.

I would think so too, but perhaps not if she's never worn a lot of jewelry. I mean, she's girly enough to be in a sorority at least so I dunno... Just trying to give her the benefit of the doubt, especially since she's a sister and all :p But I sure as hell would know a 3 carat vs a 1 carat diamond! But then again I just received an enagment ring and I've been eyeing diamonds for a bit... If it really is 3 carats, I wanna see a pic - not because I don't believe her, but because I bet that ring is gorgeous and I just wanna see it :D

just for the record, you can take early alumna status and NOT be involved at all with the sorority, ever, if you so choose. you don't have to pay dues unless you join an alumnae chapter or join that new program zta has just started for sisters who do not live in an area where an alumnae chapter exists-cyber zeta.

i did not become involved with an alumnae chapter until a good 10 years after college. then i was glad that i had the option. i had just married and moved far away from home. except for my husbands family, i knew absolutely noone in my new town. i started attending alumnae meetings, was invited to become an advisor at a nearby college chapter and served as an alumnae officer. now i am back in florida, but some of my closest friends here are sisters i never would have met without zeta.

we never know where life will take us-it's nice to have as many options open to ease any transition we may go thru. please rethink your decision.

1. Who's idea was it that it "would be best" for you drop?

2. This other sister who is pg too - was she not at the meeting? Was she telling you secretly? Being pg is not the type of thing you can keep secret very long.

3. I always suspect the stories that end so abruptly and with the OP excited for the new "chapter" in their lives.

You never know when you'll want or even need your sisterhood. Please reconsider, and take alumnae status.

As for the three carats - it could be an heirloom. My roomie had a huge rock, but it was her fiance's grandmother's.

Well, there was no discussion of maternity pantyhose with sequins up the back . . . .

Im sorry yall are so suspect, but yes this is all very true, as for the ring, it was my grandmothers designed by my grandfather who was a jeweler and since my mother is not married and doesnt plan to marry again she passed it on to me since we really cant afford a nice ring right now. Im young but I know what 3 carats looks like and trust me Im aware of the value. Just because I have a nice ring though doesnt mean we are not gonna struggle financially and that was the main reason i decided to drop. Dues of 1500 dollars really seems like a luxury when right now I need to focus on finishing as much school as possible and saving up money so my fiance and I can support our child, which in my opinion is a very mature decision, Im sorry that yall disagree. Im a college student and money isnt exactly growing on trees Im already in debt from student loans which i took out for both my sorority and my tuition and housing (about 6000 a semester) and when i think about whether I should spend a semester paying for dues and waiting to go alum or saving that money and putting it towards the baby as much as i love zeta to death it really wasnt that hard. Zeta has brought so much good into my life and I know that my friends are my friends no matter what. Im lucky I have another sister going through the same thing right now but thats not uncommon in a group of 100 plus girls. Someone is bound to get pregnant, we just happen to have 2 girls this semester and I feel better knowing Im not alone.

1. I think it would be best for me and my fiance agrees

2. she was at the meeting but didnt want to come forward and that was our first chapter meeting of the semester so most of the girls hadnt seen each other since early december so its relatively easy to hide.

3. I am excited for the new chapter in my life because why wouldnt i be? Im having a baby and getting married, most women dream of those two things (although I always dreamed of a different circumstance!)

Going alum doesn't cost money at all if you choose not to join an alum group. I can't see that your chapter would require you to pay dues for the whole semester at these are extenuating circumstances, but every organization is different. Perhaps you should speak with your advisers or your treasurer before you "drop". People here are telling you not to drop and to go alum, not stay active. If you drop that means that you will no longer be a ZTA, regardless of whether or not you still love Zeta.

You're not the only person this has ever happened to, nor will you be the last. However if you drop, you are no longer a Zeta. Is that something you really want to do?

Withdrawing from Zeta (which I am assuming what you mean by "drop") means you turn in your pin, membership certificate, etc. You are not a member in any capacity, and you never can be again. Withdrawl permanently severs ties with you and Zeta. Although I would expect that you'd still keep in touch with your closest friends from Zeta, you would not be a Zeta anymore. Your daughter(s) will not be Zeta legacies. You can't join a Zeta alumnae chapter 5 years from now.

Early alumna status is just that, early alumna status. With this status, you have the benefits of being an alumna without the financial responsibilities or time commitments of collegiate membership. This status is granted when a member leaves the university for any reason. For example, one of my sisters was severely depressed, and had to take a leave of absence from the University. She was granted early alumna status. Upon her return to the University, she was allowed to re-affiliate with the collegiate chapter or remain an alum. Her daughters will be legacies. She has the option to join an alumnae chapter when she is ready. I would think that being pregnant would make you eligible for this status.

If it were me in your situation, I'd want early alumna status. In fact, I can't think of any reason to not want early alumna status. The only reason to withdraw would be if Zeta won't grant you early alumna status.

In my chapter, if a girl chose to withdraw in the middle of a semester, she'd still be responsible for the dues for that sermester. However, yours are extenuating circumstances. You're not like "Wah I don't like ZTA anymore," you're pregnant! They should understand. Have you talked to an advisor, because I refuse to believe that they would ask for $1500 to allow you to take early alumna status while being pregnant!

i sent an email to our vp 3 about it asking for information to see if i have to pay dues for this semester if i wanna go early alum

If your chapter EC says you have to pays this semester's dues, you should appeal that decision to your chapter advisory board. If they still want you to pay, you should appeal that to your regional advisors (I'm not sure of the exact structure in ZTA). Good luck to you and best wishes for a healthy pregnancy!

And - should they determine that you do need to pay, see if you can work out a long-term payment plan. But I really, really think it is in everyone's best interests to let you go alum - good luck!

when you joined Zeta, you were not pregnant so that financial burden was not present when you agreed to pay the required dues. You now have extenuating circumstances which I'm sure Zeta has encountered somewhere along the line. Fight for your right (no...not to party) to preserve your ZTA membership. ZTA for a lifetime wouldn't mean much if they and you didn't work to make it for a lifetime. Good luck getting early alum status. I think in some way you'd grow to regret your decision to drop out! Congratulations on your engagement and your future child!

For what it is worth, I know of two different sorority members who worked out a payment plan with their respective chapters when they went alum. Both chapters were thrilled to have the extra cash flow versus nothing. And I am sure they were even more thrilled to retain their sisters as members for life.

Is your fiance also going early alum?

That's exactly what I was thinking....

And for what it's worth, when we had members resign during the school year, regardless of whether they dropped during the term or at the break, we made them pay dues for the remainder of the term - so you'd still have to pay dues for this term. Just a thought.

Those members were likely withdrawing because they no longer cared to be a member. Being pregnant and wanting early alumna status is waaaaaay different.

i think i may be repeating myself, but please call or email one of your advisors or go straight to i.o.-most likely your vp3 nor any other chapter officers are going to have the correct answer for you.

i believe that you could quickly get alum. status, thus not have to pay collegiate dues. you would not have to join an alumnae chapter, thus not have to pay alumnae dues(which by the way are usually around $35/40 per year). any time in the future that you wanted to join an alumnae chapter, you would be able to. we alums. never ask "where have you been for the past 10 years"-we are just happy to have you active when it works into your life.

i have given you advice via pm and in this thread. i do know what i am talking about-i have been an advisor for over 15 years . you are getting the same advice from members of other sororities. now it is up to you to act on that advice.

^^ Amen sister!!! ZL!

Ztaberry, I sent you a private message that may help...