This is how my formals went: Most girls borrowed dresses from each other. In fact for my last formal I borrowed a dress from one of my friends who was actually in a different sorority, she had worn the dress to her last formal. I borrowed my jewelry from my little, my hair was done by one of my sister's roommates who was also in another sorority, and I did my own makeup.

Dates met up beforehand and then took the school bus, not luxury style, and parties usually happened at houses off campus.

Seems I am taking a beating for what I was told.
First, I had to Google Rainbow Party. Had no clue since I'm not up on Urban Slang.

Girls do carry condoms and should carry condoms if they intend on hooking up. No one should ever rely on someone else to be responsible for their health.

The TGs and parties...evidently some campuses (and some chapters) are more risque than others. She has shown me pictures, so she wasn't lying. I even saw some resemblance to Brit-Brit's comeback flop where her muffin-top was hanging over her bottoms. I check facebook from time to time to see what is happening at our chapter at a local school. Glad to say that our sorority is not the ones striking sultry poses with the caption, "Happy to be a new sexy ABC", or playing kissy-face with their sisters.

The formals...I'm sure what I wrote was the extreme, but she was referring to one particular chapter where I have no doubt it's true. This is the house that had "fake-bakes" back when I was in school and always had daddy buy them a new car.

The drugs. Trust me...It's there. One Miami University Sigma Nu OD'd last month on Methadone. There also have been several threads on GC to support chapters whose charters' were pulled due to drugs. I didn't do weed when I was in school, but it was there. I never said that everyone was doing it, but the drugs today seem to be more addictive.

The stalkings and the shootings....
Stalkings are probably happening moreso in the form of lurkings. Hell, my mother Googles her grandchildren on a regular basis and is horrified that results say, "XXX Jane Doe XXX Nude Photos". Mom hasn't figured out if she Googled herself, there would be Nude Photos of herself out there
The kids are concerned about shootings. I don't think I ever would have thought it could happen when I was in college. Maybe the fear is a good thing. It makes them more cautious.

I mean deserve in the sense that if you have unprotected sex with a random guy, you shouldnt be surprised if you get some sort of bug. i dont mena to sound harsh, but its the way i feel.

I know what you meant. Moral or health reasons, if you don't do what you should do (protect yourself, whether it be spiritually or physically), then the reaction won't be a positive one.

Interesting discussion. From what I've read the only conclusion I can come up with is "it depends on the campus."

However, it was also interesting to read what VioletPretty wrote because she and I went to the same university but I was there 20 years earlier.

Twenty years ago, it definitely would have been "then" for me. We did luau, fiesta, preppy, toga, and my personal favorite destination unknown. Dressing skimpily just wasn't done and a "pimps and hos" party? Forget it! Never!

Generally, dress buying was a first year thing. Then you were "stocked up." From there it was dress swapping. Manicures before a formal were fairly common. No limos, because of RM it was all buses. Hotel suites? Yes, but not with jacuzzis. Someone always rented a room at the hotel but it was mostly for drinking and hanging out and, occasionally, for hooking up.

Big difference here. I don't know if it's then versus now or what, but drugs were very much on the scene. That said, I have to credit my sorority with getting me away from drugs. I was living in a rental house with several Greeks and a few non-Greeks. It was drug-central: pot, coke, shrooms, and eventually some crack. I didn't realize the extent of it until years later, but I was basically living with the major supplier of cocaine to the entire Greek system -- a few houses moreso than others.

Acceptance of it varied though. My sorority wasn't into it (of couse there were a few pot-heads on the side.) Another sorority, on the other hand, was heavily into cocaine use. The fraternities pretty much went for anything and everything.

The walk of shame was hugely shameful. Aids was just starting to become a concern but VD was definitely a worry.


So, some things have changed at my campus and some things haven't. What really shocked me was seeing what was going on 20 years later across the country in Southern California. This post is long enough already so I won't go into the details, but what I saw in Los Angeles was truly frightening.

i haven't read from the original post, but seems things have gone down hill... maybe more fun and crazy, but less classy to the way you describe your days.

We had fun and got crazy. We just did it differently and with more modesty.

Hey now! I take offense to that. I graduated in 2005--we had fun, we did it tastefully, and we didn't need to do drugs, have illicit sexual contact, or drink excessively in order to do it!!! :mad:

How did differently and with more modesty turn into all of that?:confused:

I take offense to the line "with more modesty," since it implies that just because you graduated after 1985, you weren't modest or lady like. That kind of annoys me, because it can't be said that just because you graduated in a different time period that you were more modest than anyone else, in any other organization. That's how that turned into that.

Offense taken; annoy on.

Switched off, now. Notice of enjoyment taken from the annoyance of another person on GC. *Red Flag*

I also have to take offense here. Differently? Maybe. That's got to be true on some levels. More modesty? Can you at least explain that further? I really don't think I could say that's true.


ETA: Just to explain further, I think that everyone who is actually in college now or in the near past has stated that there is still social stigma with hooking up and it does not happen frequently [with exceptions, like always]. The skimpy clothing thing you said was also contested by several, and other people stated that in the 80's they wore micro miniskirts. So...morals are the same, and clothes are the same. How in the world could you then go on to say that there is more modesty back in the day?

I think you have taken what your niece has said as fact, when in actuality it is far from the truth. Just because she hangs out at shady places with meth and half naked people doesn't mean it's anywhere near the norm.

At least I wasn't the only one who saw that statement as a bit one-sided.

Sounds like you all were boring!

What kind of college girl doesn't enjoy tequila and put out like an electrical socket?

Wow, this thing is getting heated, I'm sure vtgreekalum is glad he waded in here! (btw, Chris, my take from hanging out here for a few months is that greek life today is still pretty much the way it was when we were younger, the kids today just have lots more hoops to jump through with risk management and they can communicate a lot faster and more efficiently than we could with all their gadgets and whatnot... otherwise, normal societal differences between "then" and "now" may translate into your son/daughters having a very similar or very different experience from you, depending on their campus)

Benz, I think you need to throw up a LOLcat and bug on outta here! ;)

i think girls do way worse things now than then. my mom would kill me if she found out what my room mate and best friend do all the time. not that its anything bad just she is crazy!!!:eek:

OMG. :eek:

I think I'm about to do that--the LOLcat that is. :p

What do you all do? Each other?

The girls I knew who didn't put out in college were closet lesbians, or worse, strong Christians.

lol ew no!!!
they just party ALOT and my mom would think i did too if she knew.

O Dionysus, you so silly. Lolzzz.:p

"Too much information!" - That is how I interpreted Benzgirl's comment about doing "stuff" differently and with modesty "back in the day".

We are living in an electronic "tell all" information age and just about anything and everything we do can become public knowledge with just a few clicks of the keyboard. Or cell phone. Or digital camera. Or digital camera in our cell phone. The bottom line seems to be that what use to be considered priviate personal information is now being made public. Both the "good" and the "bad".

Here ya go . . . .
 

Exactly!!!!

I have little sympathy for men & women who come into my clinic claiming alcohol and/or drugs is why they have an STD.

buahaha.

THANK YOU

coke seems to be a pretty big issue today from what i hear on most campuses at SEC schools, was it a big issue back then?

I'm sorry, but I absolutely need to respond to this post. I went to Miami University, and I was active in Greek Life and the Miami community. I know a great deal about this situation; in fact, I helped pay to fly a sorority sister back from Korea to attend the funeral of this "Miami University Sigma Nu" - her best friend, also known as Clifton Alexander.

I am not condoning the actions in this situation; and yes, Clif died from an overdose of Methadone. However, he had experienced incredible migraines since he was nine years old. He was hospitalized again and again for them, and while he was not prescribed Methadone, I believe he was taking it to ease his pain. Methadone is a pain reliever, and from everything I have heard from his friends, he was not using it to get high, but to ease his suffering. I of course do not know exactly what happened, but Clif was an OUTSTANDING individual who you cannot just characterize as a druggy. He was a deeply caring individual who will be greatly missed!

I know you didn't necessarily mean it to come off this way, but do not trivialize his death by implying that he was just one more drug addicted kid. I'm not condoning the use of illicit drugs, and hopefully his death will be a lesson to others about the dangers of using prescription drugs without a prescription, but please, he was a good kid who was in a great deal of pain. He was not just snorting lines of coke at some party - this is a completely different situation, and it does NOT illustrate the point you are trying to make.

BG & I are around the same age I think, and (I know she'll correct me if I'm wrong) I think that what she means by "modesty" is "we didn't put pictures of it all over the freaking internet." I know I've stated this before on here, but - professional photogs at mixers?? At formals?? We would have NEVER allowed anyone like that into our private events. This doesn't even touch putting pics on the internet - this concept is just so beyond me I can't even wrap my brain around it. I understand that cameras are different and it's the easiest way to share photos, but I certainly don't want Harry Baals from Pigsknuckle Arkansas looking at pictures of me at a toga mixer, even if it's completely innocuous. My pictures and memories of my good times are for my friends and I, not the world. Honestly, download the pics onto your PRIVATE computer and send a PRIVATE email.

Lucky - not SEC, but I got offered coke a few times when I was an undergrad (and no I didn't indulge, I got spontaneous nosebleeds as it was). From what I understand, it's much more prevalent now, everywhere.

I think, in general, Greek social life and general collegiate social life frequently parallel each other. Although, in this Risk Management day and age, I think that Greek parties are more regulated than general college parties. I know that nobody who has a party at their house is hiring security guards, as is the requirement for many Greek events now. When I was in college (around the same time as Benzgirl), if you wanted to drink, you found a way to drink. If you wanted to smoke pot, you did. The only drugs I was exposed to in college were marijuana and inhalants. Some of the guys were really into whippets (sp?). I think drug use/prevalance goes in phases. After the wild 70's, the 80's college students were fairly conservative. You do hear more about college students dying of overdoses again, which is sad. We also had a huge scare in the 80's, when HIV came about, which did have a huge impact on sexual activity, once it became known that it wasn't just a drug addict/homosexual disease. I think there was a big difference in behaviors from 1983, when I started school to 1987 when I graduated. Some of the things that you generally hear about now, like "friends with benefits" weren't happening then. Perhaps that trend was born from the HIV threat. One night stands were dangerous, but perhaps it was less dangerous if someone is a trusted friend.

Anyway, my real point is, any social trends going on at colleges around the country are going on for ALL students, not just the Greeks.

I agree. I know MANY non-greek college students and even a few graduate students who party way crazier than the Greeks.

i think that my friends that are not in my sorority are alot crazier than my friends who are also my sisters. when did gdis become even more fun than greeks?! the times they are a changin!:p

It certainly seems as if there is a significant gap between the perception of things "now" by some and the reality of it as reported by current or recent students.

As for my "thens":

Mixer themes: Barn Party, Jungle Party, Boxers and Blazers, Revenge of the Nerds (several variations on this one), Hawaiian.
Sex: People actually dated one on one, no "group dates" like seemed to become popular in the 90"s; few random hook-ups, but lots of people sleeping with their boyfriends/girlfriends - it wasn't the 50's after all.
Drugs: Beer, Grain alchohol, little wine - unless you were on a date. Not much pot and nothing harder - Tech was pretty conservative that way. Coke and LSD was
in high school, but that may just have been Fairfax County.
Risky Behavior: It may seem mild now, but we had a pledge who cut the bra off a passed out drunk girl without removing her shirt and then kept it as a trophy for awhile. Rarely a drunk guy would run naked throug the house.
One thing no one mentioned was the apparent disappearance of the Fraternity little sister programs. We had 20-25 girls who were mostly independents -usually the girlfriends or relatives of brothers and their friends. They helped decorate the house,
went to intramural events and rush events, got to wear letters, paid no dues; like "cheerleaders" for the Fraternity. There was nothing overtly sexual about the sitiuation, although the Sororities we held functions with usually requested they not come.

Some of our fraternities had little sisters, but they had a rushing and pledging program much like the sororities did - except, of course, they were voted on by the other little sisters AND the fraternity brothers. In one fraternity, almost all the little sisters were also sisters of the same sorority; in 2 other fraternities, the LSs weren't allowed to belong to a sorority at all. They paid dues, although not nearly as much as sorority dues. Sometimes they dated the brothers but sometimes not.

They were not allowed to attend mixers the fraternities had with sororities, as those were closed parties for the fraternity and sorority only and the sorority could have gotten a rush infraction for having nonmembers at a closed function. As far as open fraternity parties or fraternity formals, of course LSs attended those.

Lots of sorority women (then and now) get their panties in a bunch over little sisters, but I never had a problem with them. It's not like they lived in the fraternity house or something and the fraternity brothers weren't ordered to date them. For some women, it was a good option.

We always had Party Pics photographers at mixers and formals, even at our high school dances in the early 80's. Maybe this is a southern thing? The proofs sheets would arrive several days after the event, you'd hunt for the photos of yourself that looked cute, sign your name by them, and then the cost of the photos would be taken out of your house account. Several weeks later, you'd have that lovely keepsake photo with the event name and date on the side.

I know that this is all done online now, but we didn't have computers back then.

The cry of "Party Pics!" was well-known on our campus 83 - 86. (This was in TX). You could go by the office and order, or the proof sheets would come to the house.

LOl, you pretty well hit the nail on the head!:D

Big things at my school, were pit partys. These were strip mines for coal in SE Kansas which proved very fun.
Large plastic trash cans with purple passion or hunch punch made on the scene.

Parties were held out side of the houses as there was no drinking inside them.

Places were rented and while not classy, they were fun places: the Parkview, Road House and others that rented to college Greeks and made money.

Run outs were a big thing where a Fraternity and a Sorority would get together after meetings on Tuesday nights and go out to mingle.:)

Kansas at that time was 18 year old drinking age which helped!


LXA at one time had The Cresent Girls who were like big sisters. They had their own shingle with their names on them and were very cool. They had to be voted on to get in and was very prestigious for them to have thier names on them. I have one that will go to the chapter as part of our history.

National decided some years back to discontinue them as there was at the time a push to intermingle male and females. They felt it may threaten the Male only status.

Some times I miss the good old days when things were much more simple.;)

Exactly. I just got tired of people blowing things out of proportion so I stopped answering.

We did have professional photographers at date parties and some TGs. BUT, the chapter president typically edited the cut sheet before anyone else got to it. In other words, any pictures that "displayed poor character" were deleted. Personal photos were with 35mm cameras, which few people had (I did). Today, everyone has a digital camera, so everyone has a gazillion pictures.

We also did a lot to cover up the lasp of judgment that our sisters made (like running in the back door of a fraternity house the next morning with a change of clothes for someone who decided to spend the night with someone not her BF). Drunken pictures still reside in my personal scrapbook. Unless someone breaks into my house and can find it burried in the basement, the picts will not hit the web.

And, for the person who insulted my niece, she in no way hangs around shady characters. She is just not blind to what is around her. If you don't like what she tells me, don't read it.