^^^PB sweetheart, you never take a 1st date--a woman who you are considering seriously--to a high end restaurant.

Besides, I am amazed by y'all fellas--all good women know a way to a man's heart is through his stomach... ;) Most ladies who want you to EAT WELL, COOK and FEED their men...

Don't believe me? That's how I got married to my husband... :rolleyes:

The problem is that if we get rid of all role behaviors in courtship rituals no one knows what to do or where they stand.

As far as treating her to an expensive dinner or not, its not actually about her. Its about you and how you value yourself.

If she turns out to be an evil whore, or just someone not compatible, it in no way diminishes your generosity or behavior.

But to use the possibility that she is a tramp to justify being cheap is disingenuous.

Its true that being a gentleman is about making people comfortable around you, but primarily its something we do to match our own self concept.

I don't. I also wouldn't date a woman unless I want something serious from her. What's the point? I don't date just to be dating, nor do I casual date. I date "one" women, and I get serious with "one" woman, so why would I take her to a high end place if I don't even know her? For all I know she could be a low down woman who uses nice guys and commits herself to low down, thuggish, spinelss K Fed, 50 cent looking jokers. Bad boys like these idiots damn sure aren't going to take her anywhere except to the bedroom, and that's it. Women that fool around with these sorry, poor excuses for men, suck and aren't worth my time.

Fellas, be very leery about where you take your dates. There are other things worth your time you could have spent that cash on.;)

PB - when you die a lonely, bitter old man, we can all look back on these threads and not have to wonder why.:rolleyes:

I <3 James.

'nuff said.

It's really dependent on how the guy feels about the woman and the expectation. Soem people tend to think that if their date goes all out on the first date, that is the bar they are setting and that is going to be the norm. Which is the wrong expectation to give especially if you are a struggling student.

Heck and even if you break it down a dinner/movie date, is going to run you about 100 dollars easily.

Guys should really plan on where they take thier dates on the first one especially if it's a matter of finances. I, too believe if the guy asks the lady out, then first time (first couple of times really) he should foot the bill...but don't go broke doing it!!!

Taking a lady to a high scale restaurant is someting you save until you have been around each other for awhile.

But, at the same time, you should always 1. Go prepared and 2. Expect nothing.

I have known some people to actually try to plan dates around pay weeks and it's nothing wrong with that! LOL

Ladies at the same time it's wise to not go overboard becase, as some have already stated when you start ordering from the *effing* side of the menu, then you may get labeled 'high maintenence'.

Nothing worse than watching someone order an expensive entree just to see if the guy can afford the bill and then she not eat it.

Heh!

AF...actually altho it may sound bitter...he has a point...some of us have been in the same situation.

You take someone out to someplace really nice and....poof...that's it....

I can't recall how many 'great first dates' I had and later on felt it to be a waste.

So yeah...sometimes...we get a little leery about where we want to take some of you and it becomes a gamble...hehehe.

And believe me, it's not about trying to get physical, but it's about trying to make an investment and after a while you get tired of 'trying to impress' or trying to go all out for someone that doesn't show any appreciatation for it. (and again we aren't referring to sex!)

^^^^ agreed and actually what I have done sometimes which has yielded success is COOK and then take her out (if she isn't suffering from the 'itis already! LOL)


Gents sometimes all we have to do is employ the same strategem....COOOOOOOK!!

Oh, I'm not just talking in reference to this thread...he's got a list longer than The Mitchell Report of things a woman can't have/do/look like.

Does 'hoe' appear in it 82 times within the first 10 pages?

Absolutely. And the only word that appears more frequently than "hoe" is "joker".

Well....as it was told to me...when you keep thinking of women in that frame of reference, that's all you will attact.

A "hoe" for a "rake"???

Sweetie, we know you ain't one of those thuggish brothas that like to take a girl around the whirl... But, really, you don't know a woman without taking her out in some fashion--not to a high end restaurant, but to Burger King for lunch or something...

Some women's self esteems are so low and they need a rough neck thug to abuse them...

Then, some of these low self esteemed women regain their strength and decide that being with the nice guys are worthy of their hard efforts...

Then, there are some women who know a treasure when they see it...

I don't know what part of the "cycle" these women you are encountering are in, but it seems like they reside in the first one.

You are probably living in the "wrong time"... Today, those kinds of things you do is so unappreciated. It's like that movie "Gigi"--you should watch it if you already have not... It's rather pervy by today's standards.

I don't hang out with women with low self esteem.

LMAO!:D

When I use the word hoe, I'm referring to my exes and women who like to sleep around and not commit to one man. "Joker" is just a bad habit. AF, you're supposed to be helping me with that.;):)

Women's self esteem's fluctuate... Sometimes, it's high and sometimes it's low...

You date women of GOOD character--that is harder to detect. It is the same for men with less fluctuation.

I treat all women with respect rather she's a woman of good character or a...y'all know what I want to say. See AF, I'm getting better.:D
Anyway, I treat the good ones and the bad ones with the same respect because she's someone's daughter and also could be someone's sister. I just won't take the bad ones out again. It's that simple.

We really need to get this thread back on track, because I think I hijacked this one.:)

ok my turn....I agree and disagree with alot of the 1st date things in the posts...ok I don't require fine dining on a first date but I try not to ever eat fast food so why should I for a dude??? Why not meet at a bookstore (oh God I sound like PB now :p ) or somewhere else if you (the guy) are broke...I feed myself well so I'm not letting a guy feed me slop...BUT I also don't mind paying for dates either....on my last first date I paid because it was less then a week past his birthday and because I ordered a couple of cosmos and he had tea...no big deal.....or if its a dinner and movie type date, I'll pay for one and let him pay for the other unless he insists otherwise...

I definitely agree with OHhsofly... I don't do fast food when I'm alone, I'm not about to do it with someone else (unless it's Pizza... my weakness...) I love the bookstore idea (maybe because I'm a bookworm???) but alot of guys I come across are so shocked that I actually enjoy reading that I don't ever see anything like that happening. Since the topic (basically) is restaurant dating, I'd, say my opinion is to save that for about the third date, maybe second at least (and as my personal rule, I always try to let the guy order first, and not order over the price his was, unless he gets like a really cheap burger or something in which case I order my default Ceasar Salad with chicken or shrimp, whichever is applicable) One of my reasons for saying that is because you need to find out what type of person you are dealing with before you go out in that type of setting (I was highly embarrased by a date before... just AWFUL...) Start off by renting a movie, maybe even cooking together (if the girl can't cook and neither can the guy then just toss that idea... I don't know what to tell ya) or even just going to a local park or lake to have some time to get to know each other. And some females need to stop acting helpless. I feel like if the guy is paying for the movie, it's no problem for me to get the popcorn and the drinks. If we go out to a restaurant and he pays for the meal, i can get the tip and the post-dinner drinks. Not saying I do it every time cuz I had a guy that wouldn't let me before, but I can, and I have...

and hence the neverending double standard rears its head...

I heart PB. He said whore monger! My mom would LOVE you! LOL

Expensive is all relative. Some people think $6 - $8 for a glass of wine is expensive. In most restaurants, that is the cheapest glass of wine. As one of the posters have said, the glass could be $50, which IS expensive in my book.

When I was in college, we would get a "bucket" of beer for $5 at a campus bar. A bucket is typically what? Maybe 2 gallons. What do you pay now for a bottle of beer in a restaurant? At least that.

If the guy is in college his idea of expensive could be for a glass of Boone's Farm, Thunderbird or MD 20/20 (aka Mad-Dog).

What's in your wallet?

Those must be the biggest cheapskates EVER!!!

I can't remember paying less than that. Usually a bottle will cover 3 glasses, and there is a better selection.

bwhahaha whore monger. you OK in my book PB... for now. ::slides a bowl of chittlins to the right::

for real! especially since you can pay like $6 for a pint of beer... no one is complaining about that...

What's so good about me referring to low down men and women who can't be committed to one partner(of the opposite sex) as whore mongers?:confused: That's what they are. Right?

Thanks for the chittlins...:D:D:D Mmmm good.:p