When I was in college, I got a pot for Valentine's Day once. He said, "I love mac & cheese, and you don't have any pots here that I can fix it in. So, Happy Valentine's Day!" I had pots, they just weren't good enough for him. Silly college boys (this wasn't my now-hubby).

My husband is better with gifts now than he used to be. For our first Christmas after we were married, he got me tires and luggage. I looked at him and said, "Am I going somewhere?" He was just trying to be practical - I needed new tires, and I'd been carrying around the same luggage for years.

It's taken some time, but he's learned to give not-so-practical gifts... and I've also learned to appreciate the practical ones anyway.

I appreciate a gift card if its a store that my s/o knows I frequent. It saves him the hassle of trying to find something that a. fits and b. he thinks I'd like. But then again, I don't like to be surprised, so I am usually very specific with what I want.

Again, it goes back to communication. Tell him or her what it is you want.

My boyfriend is great and I shouldn't complain I guess, but every year he gets me a ring or some jewelry and then months later I can't even remember what it was exactly he bought me! I know what he bought me that I own, just not which gift went with which holiday! I tell him all the time, buy me practical things. I'm too poor to buy all of my favorite CDs, food most of the time, medications that I need, a new computer battery, etc. But he keeps giving me jewelry! Sometimes (secretly) I wish I could pawn it. But I really do love him and so I just try to convince him that maybe next time something I can't afford to buy myself but really need is more in order.

I'm sorry but guys are not as gift-impaired as some would like to think. Sure he may not get you that gift that you wanted but the fact that he got you something means he is trying, if it shows that he actually put in effort. I want you to try to find the "perfect gift" every Birthday, Anniversary, Valentine's Day (I "hate" this "holiday" btw), Christmas, Day that ends in Y. Its not that we don't want to get you gifts at these times, its just that women put a lot of pressure on guys to get GREAT gifts. More pressure than you probably realize.

Hey hey..I never said it was $5! I don't know where you're getting that from. It was under $20, is what I believe the original post said.

I'm over it, now. He admitted he messed up on that one, and has been hinting that he's getting jewelry for Christmas...

I love him anyways :)

Oh, see? He's totally redeemable. Sounds like a keeper! ;)

Oh dear God.:rolleyes: Printing this out. lol

Yeah, for the fellas, repeated first gifts are tough. There are some fellas that are clueless when it comes to gifts, especially when they lack funds. The irony is that all the woman really wants is the "gift of time" and a "shower of kisses". Or at least there are few ladies that think that way...

At least that's better than not giving ANYTHING for the days that end in "Y"!!!

Guys, do this and you can't go wrong. I agree with you AKA_Monet.;)

lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol

Haha, aren't you so clever!

:)

And worse yet, that's my birthday...hehe

Agreed...if you go thru all the trouble to get a gift card....just give the cash instead.

Think of it like this...getting the gift card almost locks you in to whatever store you got the gift card from.

Sidebar: 2 years ago, mo cowrokers and I tried to do a secret Santa. I bowed out because everyone was trying to exchange gift cards and that didn't make sense to me. It's like giving cash or better yet exchanging cash for cash.

But just forking over cash is VERY impersonal. I mean, it takes no effort at all. Although cash in a card with a heartfelt message written inside might be okay.

I don't know. I have seen girls upset because they didn't think the guy spent enough money on them . . .

Maybe there is some optimum intersection between thought and value? A lot of thought but little financial value equals bad gift, but maybe no thought and high value also equals bad gift?

However, me thinks that if the ticket item is high enough it may erase the lack of thought . . . . :p

Then I wonder about one's character if they think that money can "buy" love. And the question becomes at "what cost"?

Because when a one purchases certain pricey items for said another, that person owns or owes him or her... And when they say, jump, the other person has to say "how high".

Good luck, but most expensive givers have strong expectations regarding the outcome.

Of course you can buy love. Don't be silly. People have been buying love for centuries through money, gifts, status, power etc.

A lot of people respond to to those things with with warmth, excitement and affection. I am not going to argue if its "true love" because most people seem to think they have true love regardless of how good or bad their relationship is.

In fact standard courtship rituals tend to involve a lot of time and expense.

Except for those that subscribe to the "Just come over" type of relationships.

A Vegas "mafia" wiseguy bought my aunt a 12 karat diamond ring and said he wants her to "be" his... NOT MARRY--because he was already married with kids, safely tucked away in another city...

My aunt said no...

Ownership is what I am talking about.

But you're right: no romance without finance is a nuisance... And it is a full contact sport, spectators are rarely allowed...

So, I am talking about "passion"...

I know what I believe... Mr Sageofages is pretty hit/miss about gifts. While I *know* he loves me, seriously, I know. He is (as I tend to tease him) "gift-giving challenged or impaired".

If we are equating love=$$spent, then he succeeds. I can always count on "computer hardware" as a gift..and he gets the good stuff. But that is NOT what I want, need, can or will use. Same goes for DVDS, CD, and other electronic-found-at-best-buy, etc items. He never gives jewelry...and after so many years, I gave up the desire for it, cause I am not going to get it anyway.

If we are equating love=time.invested.in.the.best.gift.selection, then he fails. If I don't give him a gift list of my selections, then I can expect something like I received a few years ago. Back massager, foot massager, heating pad, etc. I said "what is this? The mom is falling apart Christmas?"

There is a diffference between a gift and a present. A gift is something you give the person because you know and love them and want them to have it. A present is something you present to the person whether you want to give it to them or not (they chose) or because you think they need it because they are lacking somewhere (you need a blender, so here is one).

I believe that choosing a gift involves an investment of myself and my time to understand the recipient, their life and what might expand it. That is part of the "gift"...giving that little bit of my time to make it wonderful for them. Even if it is simple and inexpensive, if I take the time to consider them in the process...it is a good thing.

That is all I want in return...the gift of you built into the process.

A broke joker is starting out is one issue.

A joker who loses all your money so you cannot pay the mortgage and now is broke is another issue altogether. Especially if the money is yours.

A fella that loses his job, and slowly his finances dwindle, with careful planning, things can be handled, slowly and carefully.

But the fella who loses his job, spendthrifts his way to oblivion and the repo man as well as the collectors start calling and harassing the house, that must be dealt with swiftly.

Starting out is one thing, but what if things don't go as planned the way the couple planned it to? Do you think it's o.k. for her to just break out and leave? A relationship is one thing but a marriage is another. It says for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, and in sickness and in health, or something of that nature. AQAK it could actually just stop with for better for worse. That sums it all up. With the divorce rate being as high as it is, something is very wrong, and I think a lot of it is based on affairs and finances.

Well of course if he loses all the money, to me that sounds like he's irresponsible. When I think of someone losing money I think of gambling or something like that.

The joker that loses his job, what if things never get back to the way they used to be? Does she stay or leave? Some women will stay. It would be wrong to leave.

If he loses his job and spends freely that dude sounds irresponsible too. Who would stay with a man like that?

We are talking in the context of marriage. If one makes the vow for "richer or for poorer" and they leave because the man somehow loses in a business failure and tries to have subsistent level of income from a career, then I think the duty falls on the wife if she is not working and may need to make a contribution if the couple does not have children.

I know of a man that purchases cars, not flashy ones, but gottdayum dumbass stupid cars like a Blue Hawaiian Chevy Truck from 1977 with a lift gate. AND a 1980-something Fiero--El Fuego! AND a Pathfinder Truck, A 1970-something RV that looks like junk.

Let's just say the IRS has questions and is charging him more than what some people make per year.

It is enough to make his wife go insane...

For the first case, most women will take off if the man has no job in sight. I think it would be wrong if say, I were to leave, if my husband was unable to find a job in 6 months to 1 year. But, my husband is unique and has placed himself in a position that if the folks laid him off, there would be TONS of companies begging for his expertise.

There is nothing wrong with women achieving similar circumstances. Sometimes it is not like that especially when someone has children. But there are SEVERAL women here who are doing that right now.

For the second case, the spendthrift, lazy dude or dudette, who would want to stay with someone like that... Well, you'd be amazed who folks stay with...

LMAO at the Fiero comment. I always hated those wanna be Ferraris. When the oil got low on those things they caught on fire.

You made some valid points, but in a marriage you're supposed to stay with your spouse. I could see if he/she was cheating, or was abusive or just flat out lazy but if he/she tries to make ends meet, I think that's wrong to throw away a good man/woman. I think the divorce rate now is 60%, correct me if I'm wrong, but I think it is. That's sad. It's a different generation. Back in the day, you didn't see this kind of thing.

so i know i'm drudging up an old thread but it's one i get EVERY year and i know it's supposed to be a joke but now it's just not funny anymore.

Every year for my birthday (as a gag gift) i get a partridge in a pear tree.... care to guess what day my bday's on???

^^^Arbor day? ;) j/k

:eek::D Looks like I've got a new joker to tease.:p

will first of all a $20 sweat shirt? will u know u can use it as a night wear....

so here is my story:
i dated this guy for about 3 years, from the beginning of my high school year to the beginning of my junior year in high school. as our 3 year anniversary was coming up i went to town trying to find the perfect gift. as i was looking around the mall i saw this cute dog. he is so into dogs so i thought u know i could buy him a dog. the dog was a pit bull. so the day came and he came over ( to my house) we sat there and we talked about our years together then i told him i had a gift for him, he told me he had a gift for me too so i was pretty hyped up about that day, as i gave him my gift he told me he loved it, as i was waiting for my gift he gave me coupons for a fast food resturant. he knows that i don't eat at fast food resturants. so the next day he told me that we should just be friends...

it was a great laugh though because i gave the coupons to a couple of kids. so yeah right now i am a senior in high school..

that sucks

I'm always a little offended when people buy me clothes that are way too big. Someone bought me a shirt that was a 3X for my birthday. :eek: At the time I wore about a L/XL, so I was just sitting there thinking, "Is that really what I look like to you????" It wouldn't be a problem if I were closer to it, but I was definitely offended. Now I'm about a medium, so a 2X would probably tick me off (unless it was someone who hadn't seen me recently). It doesn't bother some people, but I'm a little sensitive about it.

They are waiting for you to get married and have children - not in that order...

or


They thought you were still a kid and trying to say something about the size of your chest...

Smile, say thank you, keep it for a while then donate the item to Goodwill or the Salvation Army and use it as a tax write-off. You benefit from the deduction and someone else benefits when they buy it. Believe me, someone *will* buy it.

On the flip side I gave a gift to a guy I was dating and he clearly was not too pleased, but he put a smile on his face and said thank you. See, I noticed that he had these ratty looking bath towels and I felt that he deserved better ones, so I went out and bought some nice ones for his birthday. I gave him this big heavy box and he looked sooo excited to open it. Then when he did he said, 'Oh, thanks....yeah...I guess I needed these.' I thought I was being practical, oh well :o