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Laveliering is a huge deal - supposedly the step right before engagement. You wouldn't badger a guy to get engaged to you.. would you badger a guy to lavelier you? |
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And I know I've mentioned it elsewhere, but I broke up with this guy over a year ago. :rolleyes: |
Sigh...I wish my school did these cute traditions. AFAIK, lavaliering is not done here any longer. Nor is pinning or anything like that. Heck, I haven't even heard of any chapter doing a candle pass!
I once asked my bf if he knew what it was. He didn't know so I explained it to him. When I was done, he pointed at the necklace he gave me and said "There's you're lavalier" in a "I could care less about this Greek tradition" kind of voice, lol And I know for sure I would never get pinned, because the day after he was initiated he told me that they were told they could not pin a girl with their badge...too many instances of girls breaking up with the guy, and then the guy never getting his badge back, lol. But he doesn't even have a badge...and that's another story... I believe his fraternity does have a "Sweetheart" pin for those purposes though. But, again, he's not into that kind of thing, and it's not done around here anyways. Oh well! |
Lavaliering was more common. I participated in many a candle pass as an undergrad (sometimes 2 in one week). It was always a fraternity member giving his fraternity letters. I don't recall anyone being lavaliered with their own letters. At my alma mater, there wasn't alot of pinning going on. I only knew one person who was pinned while I was in school. Most people skipped from lavaliering to engagement. |
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One way we could narrow down a pinning was if someone who rarely wore the shirt & pullover combination suddenly showed up at meeting in one. After she blew out the candle, there would be the stripping of the sweater! I suppose that turning off the candle doesn't have the cachet of blowing it out, but when you did blow it out, sisters would hug you, and someone almost always got burned by the just-blown-out candle - but it was worth it! |
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I know at my boyfriend's chapter of Sigma Chi, Lavaliering a girl was a chapter decision. The brother may bring up the idea at chapter meeting, but it was a vote amongst the brotherhood whether or not they believed the girl was worthy of wearing their letters. Being allowed to wear the necklace and lettered shirts meant you were important to the brothers and they felt you represented the principles of the fraternity.
His chapter tradition usually included dinner with the brother and girlfriend, then going back to the chapter house and having the brothers circle around the couple and sing the Sweetheart of Sigma Chi song. In contrast, from what I know, Pinning is something that is personal between a brother and his girlfriend only. A pre-cursor to engagement and whatnot. I was lavaliered at his chapter house, then became the chapter sweetheart a year later, and when I finally moved in with him after college he gave me his badge. I wear it with pride, not only knowing I am loved very much by a Sigma Chi, but also as a Sweeheart, by the whole fraternity. I was never in a Sorority so I never participated in a candle pass but it sounds wonderful! <3 |
We just had a Candlepass at meeting tonight!! We haven't had one for almost a year! One of our seniors got engaged to her long-term boyfriend yesterday - they were out hiking and her proposed to her at the top of a mountain. At the Candlepass, she stood at the very end of the circle so the anticipation was crazy. When she blew it out there was a lot of cheering and clapping, then we did "Oh Pat!" (of course). Then an 80-person group hug, and everyone got to hear the story and see the ring. We also have a rule that whoever the candlepass is for has to bring enough chocolate for everyone :p so we had a lot of candy to eat!
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I love the idea of being lavaliered, pinned, etc. Unfortunately, our greek campus is rather small and it doesn't seem to be a widespread idea or even something that is commonly known. As a sorority girl myself, I have had to explain this to more than a handful of fraternity guys on this campus. Maybe there's hope it can catch on? Ha I guess we will see...congrats on all those who have been lavaliered though!
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I also love the idea of being lavaliered! Does anybody know if this is something they do at U Washington? That is most likely where I will be going to school next year. Thanks in advance!
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You need to have a boyfriend - a very serious boyfriend - before you can be lavaliered, and it is not something that happens to the majority of people. It's NOT just a "fun thing to do in college." |
I got lavaliered on my 21st birthday this week!!! I didn't post anything because a few of my chapter sisters are on GC, and I just had my candlepass tonight. My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly 3 years and have been living together for a year and a half, so I can't say I was surprised... but I was really excited! On the morning of my birthday, as I was getting ready to go to class, he came up behind me and told me to close my eyes. He put a necklace around my neck and when I opened my eyes, I saw his letters on a little gold chain. I wanted to tell everyone, but I had to settle for just telling my Littles, who notified the president that we needed to do a candlepass on Sunday. I think most sisters suspected it was me (the only other girl with a serious long-term boyfrind got engaged and had a candlepass a few weeks ago), but it was no less special. I've dreamed of having a candlepass since freshman year!
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Awwwww congratulations!
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Aw, how sweet! :)
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Congratulations, littleowl!
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I'm a kappa too! (Alpha chapter!!!)
At Monmouth, it's less likely for a girl to lavalier a guy, but we still have a few. Like everyone else has said, it is very serious. The way to tell your sisters is through a candle pass. The way to actually do it with him is probably in the ritual book. I know with the fraternities on our campus it's usually individualized. One girl was in a play, so her boyfriend brought some of his closest brothers and other brothers in the play to her right before curtain and asked her to wear his letters. I saw another fraternity all wait outside one of the brother's girlfriend's classes and sing a song from their ritual book to her and then he fgave her a shirt and put a lavalier (necklace) on her. I'm hoping to share these ceremonies with my boyfriend soon!! Good luck! |
Does the girlfriend have to be greek?
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depends on the school.
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Bump because I'm wearing my Christmas present from the bf--a Phi Kappa Psi lavalier!!! :)
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I know one fraternity on our campus does lavaliering, but it's not my boyfriend's =[. We've talked about it before because it's a tradition I love, and I'd love to have a candlepass one day, but since we've only been dating for 3 and a half months, I'm not pressuring him. It's way more likely (if at all, I get really romantic thoughts I shouldn't have) that he'd propose before lavaliering me.
But still, I love to hear lavalier stories, congrats lovespink88!! |
I'm not sure how popular lavaliering is at IU but I wish my boyfriend was in a fraternity. We've been dating for 3 years now and I think it would be an awesome experience...I don't think we've had a candlepass in the time I've been in the house (which isn't long) so I think I'm going to look into it...even though I can't experience it :(
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Im an ADPI at a smaller school in Kentucky. The way we hold our candlelight ceremonies is that the first round is for sisterhood (no one blows the candle out, this first pass is to unite us), the second round is for pearling or lavaliering, and the third round is for engagement. However, i just joined the sorority in the fall and dont really know much about pearling or lavaliering, just what i have learned from candlelight ceremonies. |
At my college, we too have a small greek life, but it's thriving and well! We have five sororities and five fraternities.
My boyfriend (who is also a Theta Chi-original post) pinned me two weeks ago and I went looking for forums about pinnings and found this one! Does anyone know what exactly pinned girlfriends 'can and can not do'? Some say you can wear his pin, some don't, some say you can go to brotherhood events, some don't. Looking for some consensus please! I want to be as involved as possible since I love his brothers, but don't want to offend anyone! LIOB There has never been a bond so strong and true as that of PHI MU! |
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I just LOL'd at the thought of being at my boyfriend's brotherhood events. Oh God.
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Aw, c'mon, you know you wanna. :p |
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Thanks everyone!
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Does anyone know how common it is for a sorority girl to give her letters to her boyfriend? My boyfriend is in a fraternity, and he's thinking of lavaliering me, but I was wondering if there was something I could give him that would be the equivalent or similar.
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would you give your boyfriend an engagement ring?
p.s. good reply in the linked thread MC. |
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Thanks for the link. I don't know if I would really want to give him a lavalier, specifically, but maybe a ring with his or my letters (if that's possible, and if he'd want it). He has told me that some of his alumni brothers have been given lavaliers by Alpha Sigma Alphas, though, so that's where I came up with this idea. No, I wouldn't take it that far, but I was just thinking it'd be sweet if we each had something to show our connection to the other's fraternity/sorority. |
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Pinning and lavaliering do not create a connection with a boyfriend's fraternity. It's simply a traditional way of indicating the seriousness of a relationship. Full disclosure: My thoughts may be influenced by the fact that my fraternity does not allow non-members to wear our letters -- not even in the form of a lavalier. And I still can't imagine a guy actually wearing a lavalier. :o |
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I'm having a hard time picturing a guy wearing a sorority lavalier. Most men I know just don't wear jewelry other than a watch, a wedding ring if appropriate, and maybe a class ring. My father wouldn't even wear a wedding ring until my mother gave him one as a 25th anniversary present. Anyway, an AEPhi coudn't lavalier her boyfriend even if she wanted to - only initiated sisters are allowed to wear the Greek letters. |
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