GreekChat.com Forums - Helicopter Parents' Retro Recruitment Thread

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I don't think that anyone is insinuating that parents who are involved at the primary and secondary school level are helicoptering. Most schools encourage parental involvement and some private schools even require it. There is a direct correlation between parental involvement and school success. The problem arises when a parent can not separate their childs emotions from their own and what should be an 'I' event becomes a 'we' event. A young adult should have learned how to speak and do for themselves before they reach the college campus. But somehow rush can turn into a 'we' event and we see posts that contain phrases like 'our rho chi' or 'what should we do'.

Many organizations that are geared for kids such as Scouting and youth sports insist that there is an extra parent at meetings/practices as a chaperone or just to keep the kid/adult balance under a certain ratio.

Oh sorry, my referencing to parents setting foot in the H.S. was meant for DAY TIME. Of course they came to the school musical (musicals were popular back then) and evening things they were invited to. Fast forward to MY kids H.S. days and there were parents in and out the H.S. all day long telling the teachers how to run their classes. My neice is a teacher and she says it is unbelievable.

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Originally Posted by Army Wife'79 (Post 1514659)

Thanks. Makes much more sense now. ;)

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Originally Posted by AGDee (Post 1514517)

I think whether you attend practices depends on the age of the child and how well you know the coach. Personally, when I coached soccer, I preferred when parents stayed for practice. It was far better than them arriving 30 minutes after practice was supposed to end! But, I had 6 and 7 year old boys and no assistant coach too, so the help with practices was appreciated. We liked when parents stayed for some of the Cub Scout meetings too, especially one mom whose son was learning disabled. It would have been hard for the two of us to manage 13 boys and deal with his special needs without chaos reigning.

I'm apparently abusive too though... My son got CHOIR on his schedule (CHOIR!!!!!!) and hadn't signed up for it. It's his first year of middle school and he wasn't sure what to do. His sister and I told him he just needed to go to the office and ask them if he could change it something else. He wanted me to do it. I told him I would go with him but that he had to do the talking. He practiced with me first..lol. We walked in the office and the secretary said "Can I help you?". My son froze and then nudged me, wanting me to answer. I turned to him and said "Tell her what the problem is" and he recited his practiced line "I got choir but I didn't sign up for it". Anyway, in the long run, he talked to the secretary and the school counselor and I didn't do the talking. I will go do penance for it now...

You handled this perfectly. You supported your son into being able to handle a problem himself. He is one step closer to being able to advocate completely for himself and live life as a productive adult one day (albeit, one who doesn't sing in the choir:)).

Getting the kids to do things for themselves is the key.

One of the best examples of helicopter parenting was from a UGA adviser about a students who when working on a his schedule and plan of study just called his mother and put the adviser on the line. That's the fruit of helicoptering.

It sounds like in the cases you are describing, you wanted parental assistance and you got it. I don't think there is a problem with that. It also sounds that the parents understood their roles and didn't try to usurp your leadership. Helicopter parents are incapable of doing that. Some of the difference in helicoptering and normal parenting, I think, is that helicopter parents decide to do things that no one has asked them to do or wants them to do.

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Originally Posted by Army Wife'79 (Post 1514659)

Totally true, I'm a teacher and I've had parents try and tell me how to run my class - uh no, if you want to teach get a credential and a clue. (And I run a damn tight ship)

I've also had parents ask me how to parent, which is funny to me since I don't have kids. One story in particular a parent said on the phone, "Well Billy-bob stays up all night on the computer, I just don't know what to do, do you have any ideas?"

My response: "Have you tried taking the computer out of his room?"

Dad:" Wow, that's a good idea."

:rolleyes: :eek:Why don't people need licenses to parent?

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Originally Posted by AOII_LB93 (Post 1515101)

Random highjack***
I completely agree with you. There are a lot of us teachers posting on here these days. It must be because school is just starting back up. People really DO need licenses to parent.

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Originally Posted by Army Wife'79 (Post 1514659)

There was a girl in high school who's mother was always stopping by to bring her lunch. The mother and my mom were sorta friends, and I told my mom that I was so glad she didn't do that because I would have been mortified if I ever saw my mom strolling through the cafeteria to bring me my lunch.