Why does the Greek Life office do this to people????

Yes, technically it is the obligation of the group members to find a recommendation for a PNM that they are interested in, but in a recruitment as large as UGA, you don't want to count on it.

Greek Life finally made some progress and put this in the Pointer, the recruitment magazine, but they need to quit sabotaging the people who know the least about UGA rush.

Sure, if you decided at the last minute to go through recruitment, you might get by at some groups because they have alumnae networks and would get you one. Other places who have hundreds of glowing recommendations on other PNMs, not so much.

If at all possible, get at least one rec for every group at any SEC recruitment and at many other big recruitments.

Just lost a very long response. I'll try again.

We were lucky
 

Thanks to GC, we were very, very lucky. After her orientation in June, UGADaughter and I were working together on-line on her schedule. We decided to google "UGA Sorority Recruitment" and we were led to the last year's thread about UGA recruitment -- I think the name of the thread was "My friend's UGA recruitment." It was eye-opening. At that point UGADaughter had recs for three houses from close family friends, and didn't plan on trying to get others. After GC educated us, UGADaughter and UGAMom scrambled around to find recs from all imaginable sources (I even called two old college friends) and were able to secure recs for 11 sororities, inlcuding multiple recs for four houses.

I am certainly not qualified to give any advice, but I don't see how it could hurt to get recs in tomorrow if you can get them.

I'm going to send this and then continue so I don't lose it again.

UGADaughter is also in Brumby, and she thinks it is great that all those freshman girls can be in the dorm together sharing experiences and making new friends. But NonUGASon, who helped us move UGADaughter in on Friday, was the most impressed with Brumby. He had quite an enjoyable day on Friday -- helping little sister has never been so much fun for him!

All of my daughter's friends are in Brumby, too. I put it in another thread, but her very best friend and very close friend (they're roommates) both got 12 invites; another friend got 10; another friend got 6 and two others got 3. (Haven't heard about the two sophs trying again).

Keep your fingers crossed, I have a couple of posts in that thread you read about last year that discusses the disappointing rush the girls from our HS experienced. I'm hoping for better turnout this year.

Thanks, Mama Dawg. Best of luck to Baby Dawg. In the long run I think she may be better off having some breaks. When I talked to UGADaughter today during lunch break (yes she called me this time!) she was exhausted (but of course enjoying second round very much -- I know I better add that). She was also becoming very confused. I tried to calm her down and just remind her to be herself, try to keep her options open, and enjoy the ride. I hope it helped. One thing she said was that the girls who seemed to have fewer parties today were, like Baby Dawg, legacies to UGA sororities. The theory is that other soororities think they won't get the girls who will likely go to their legacy sorority. Of course, in the long run that legacy will likely be a good thing, but it may be limiting in the early stages. The fact that UGAMom's sorority is not on campus at UGA probably helped with second round invites, but it may not be so good later in the process.

Anyway, what do I know? Best of luck to your daughter.

By the way, I answered candiceena by PM -- I'm adding that because I didn't want folks to think I didn't respond.

I hope all the UGA girls have had a great day today.

I'll bet nonUGASon enjoyed helping little sister moving into Brumby and checking out all her new classmates :D

Confused and Exhausted
 

UGADaughter just talked to her mom and was sooooo exhausteed and soooo confused. She had to rank the sororities and was so tired she struggled to make decisions. I know it is a good problem to have, but she really struggled to rank the soroities in a meaningful order. After all, she has had 40 minutes of exposure to each house. She was gong to bed right after the call.

BTW, her adviser had them rank a "top 5" -- isn't that a little strange since they could go to as many as 6 parties tomorrow? I guess it doesn't matter, because they also had to rank a "next 2." But apparently they didn't rank the rest -- or at least that is what she understood/misunderstood.

So for UGADaughter that meant she couldn't rank one of the 8 she continues to really like, and while she thinks (emphasis on thinks) she has a top three or four, she really thinks that any of the 8 could be a great place for her. Was she confused (or maybe UGAMom is confused) or is that how it works at UGA? So if she gets cut by several of her top 7 but her unlisted 8th choice invites her back, how would that work?

I apologize that this sounds like a nice problem to have, but for a very tired and confused girl, this was real drama.

Mama Dawg -- my previous post about breaks may have been right on the money.

The rush adviser may have been trying to express it in a way that girls who didn't have twelve parties might not have felt as alienated from.

She may have also been trying to get the girls to get away from thinking "here are the six that I want and the ones that I would cut if I could."

If she ranked the maximum that her rush counselor said she could, I'm sure she will be fine.

ETA: It's possible that she could call her rush adviser and clarify, couldn't she? Better to catch this now if it turns out she could have ranked more.

That sounds very odd. When I went through FR (six rushes ago), we had to rank everyone we saw during the round, even houses we weren't interested in. For instance, I visited 9 houses during round two and ranked all 9 in numerical order rather than having a "top 6" and then a "next 3." It may have changed but I would be surprised if girls were not allowed to maximize their options by ranking all chapters.

UGAdad...you're a sweetie and I hope all dads are as concerned. I know Daddy Dawg says this is just awful! He threw up his hands today and said that when he went through frat rush, guys just keep showing up at the house and eventually they get a bid! He said he didn't think he could handle this pressure!

What happened with Baby Dawg yesterday was that she did, in fact, get invited back to her choices at the end of her rankings. I think that NPC is trying to keep girls as involved as possible, and as long as possible, and that is a good thing. So, if your UGAdaughter is invited back to her 8th ranking, it just means that the numbers didn't match between her rankings and the sororities' rankings.....I think???Maybe???? Sounds logical, and that is how it seemed to me, but I could be wrong.

Is anyone getting any sleep tonight? I was mentally awake all night last night, and will probably be again tonight!

Another UGA mom
 

My daughter is also going through rush at UGA - got invited back to 12 today, but her best friend only got invited to six. Two of the houses she had multiple recs for did not invite her back, but the ones she liked best are still on her list. She is a legacy, and I am also wondering if it is still true that if a legacy comes to prefs they are automatically on the first list. Does this vary from one GLO to another.

I think it varies, but the legacy member could easily review the policy maybe on the national website, I think.

Shadden,

You're not likely to get an answer on the legacy rules for each sorority. Membership decisions are private and not discussed on GC. You'll find that legacy considerations vary widely by sorority and chapter.

I guess I feel a little better
 

Knowing that someone with multiple recs didn't get a call back helps me feel a little better about no recs.

Tried to get some today but had no luck with getting fax numbers or even active phone numbers online. Plus I have not said anything to my daughter about this as someone advised me to not add more stress at this time ...and she's the one who knows who offered her recs. I was really not very involved with all of this until this week.

I have not spoken with her since right before her last party around 5:00 but she has such an open mind about all of this! Not knowing very much about Greek life prior she had no pre-conceived "wishes" and she told me today that she really liked one that she had initially ruled out. So we'll see! I do know that at the end of Day 1 even as hot as it was she said she definitely wants to be a part of Greek life!

I've got my fingers crossed for everyone to be happy in the end!

It should be a national policy and you should be able to find it on your website.

UGA recruitment
 

As an alumni at one if UGA's sororities (from another school), I didn't realize how drastically things had changed in 25 years. We were never told that recs were so important, quite the contrary! Otherwise I could have had several friends write on my daughter's behalf, even though they hadn't seen her since she was 5 or 6. We assumed (wrongly I now realize), that it was all about personalities that clicked and common interests. I live in the Atlanta area, and Sunday morning there was an article on UGA's rush mentioning specially ordered designer clothes and stacks of recs - my daughter isn't like that at all! She's very down to earth, quiet and unpretentious, but a great sense of humor, wonderful personality, and the best, most loyal friend anyone could hope to have (OK, maybe I'm a little biased!;)) Despite the article, we thought she would at least find one house where there were similar girls who would be interested in her for herself. Today she called to let me know she only got 2 invites back, and one was to my sorority, which has a policy to invite all legacies back to one party. Still, she was very upbeat, not taking it too seriously, just having a good time. Well, tonight an officer from my sorority called me to break the news that she's being released. I'm so sad. I doubt she'll be invited back to the other one either, because, like I said, she's somewhat quiet and reserved. I know she'll be OK, she has the ability to see the bright side of things much more so than me. I just can't stand to think of what the rejection will feel like away from home not knowing many people, and then when the other girls get their bids...I had so wanted to share the great experience I had in college with her, she has brothers but always wanted a sister...Sorry this is such a long,sad post, but I needed to vent, Hubby wasn't greek and thinks the whole thing is BS.

I hate that this happens. Everytime I read a thread that starts with "I didn't know we needed recs" and I see it is for a school with a competitive rush, I just get a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.

Clueless Also, I am so sorry for you and for your daughter.

I wish there was some way to put together and send out information to each PNM and their parents that honestly addressed things like recs. I hate that people either don't know or that they've been given bad information.

UGA Panhellenic, if you are reading, a suggestion for you; let the Baby Dawgs know!

www.atlantapanhellenic.org

This site was mentioned in another thread. They say they help girls get recs.

I'm sorry about your daughter's release from your sorority. From what you've said, she sounds like a LOVELY girl that any sorority would lucky to have. And you sound like a loving, caring mother. With your daughter's personality, I can see her being well liked in college life and being quite an assest to any organization with which she chooses to become involved (Greek or non-Greek).

We help local girls from the southern crescent area of Atlanta (Fayette, Coweta, Henry, Clayton and South Fulton) get recs - this year we handled 39requests and about 25% of them were very last-minute. Many moms said they believed what they had been told at the panhel recruitment orientation meetings (for UGA, Georgia Southern, GC&SU, etc) - e.g. that recs were not needed.
www.ascapa.org
We hold an annual sorority info session too - we call it "Afternoon with Athena." We are very fortunate to have the beautiful Phi Mu Hqtrs right here in town - they let us use their training area which is just perfect! :)

Let your daughter know that there may very well be opportunities for COB and that she can always go through spring recruitment as well if she is still interested in being a part of Greek Life. As has been said in this forum many times before, sometimes girls just slip through the cracks but that doesn't necessarily mean that they aren't sorority-worthy! Sometimes it just takes a second try.

Clueless Also, I am so sorry to hear of your daughter's release. Give her a big hug--it sounds as if she is level-headed and has a great attitude, but still, it hurts and is a difficult start to the college experience. Hoping the best for her as she discovers everything else that college offers.

I began reading this board because I am joining a chapter advisory board in the fall, and felt like a Greek dinosaur since I rushed when Richard Nixon was president. I, too, was clueless about how much things had changed.

It is amazing that some of the WORST advice and information about dress codes, need for recs, the dynamics of a competitive rush (not really mutual selection for most rushees), legacy issues, etc. comes from the "official" sources of the Greek Offices, Greek Advisors, and School Orientation programs. If girls and parents don't already have Greek connections, and rely on the "official" information, (which logically they would), they can be placed at a distinct disadvantage. Very frustrating, and not healthy for the greek system, as it perpetuates the image of a closed universe (ie if you "have to ask", you "don't belong").

All the best to your daughter.

UGADad Have a Good Day!
 

UGADad,
I meant to ask, any updates? Did you get any sleep last night? :)

Here's hoping for a great day with a little shade for those poor girls!

I think we've discussed this conflicting information before--wasn't the conclusion that perhaps they have to say "recommendations aren't necessary" because that's what they are supposed to say (per NPC? I don't know).

We could put a giant sticky on here that says for SEC recruitment, you must have recs, you must have recs, you must have recs....but unfortunately, most people stumble on this site after things have gone south and at that point it's much too late.

I handed out info about the Atlanta Panhellenic info session to all my daughter's friends' mothers and only one took me up on it and went to the session. They broke the girls up into groups for their prospective schools, but we left so I don't know what the girls were told in those sessions. During the large group session, I wanted to scream when they answered one mother's question "panhellenically" rather than with what most of us with experience know is the truth.....NO, it is NOT better to wait until you get used to school and rush as a sophomore at Alabama! In the craziness that is SEC rush, you need every advantage, and being a sophomore is not an advantage. I really don't know how this can be improved until we can tell the truth without sounding like harpies, gossip mongers or scaring every girl out of even attempting recruitment, but somehow it needs to happen.

I really didn't have a lot of perspective on the numbers until Sunday night when my daughter was corresponding with one of her friends at UGA. They have to cut 1,000 girls for the next day--that's why open house is done at noon. Those girls have to go to work, fight for the hometown girl, try to remember who they met, etc. Then in the next three days, they somehow have to whittle it down to a pledge class. Deserving, smart, nice and wonderful girls are going to get cut and that's just the reality of working with those kinds of numbers.

Last year when so many sweet girls from our HS were disappointed, I wondered what the heck they were looking for in sisters at UGA, too. It's a tough situation, and it seems like a heartless process, but we have to remember it's tough on both sides...and we're talking about 18, 19 and 20 year old girls having to make these kinds of decisions under extreme pressure.

It's no consolation when it's your daughter in pain, but it really isn't personal in most cases, sometimes it's just the luck of the draw on who you talk to when you walk in the door.

Update from mine...
 

Still no recs but she was invited back to 4 today. She was cut from one that she really liked and was surpised she was cut based on the conversations she had there. This one happens to be one she could have had several recs for too. But she is fine.

Of the 4 remaining she has an open mind but 2 were also in her top 3 so hopefully the "no recs" won't hurt her today.

She is so tired that my concern is her true personality may be wilted from exhaustion and heat - but then again everyone is going through that!

I can't express enough how much I ache over the right thing to do regarding these recs this late in the game!

If she prefs a house where she doesn't have a rec, they probably will get one for her. A couple of years ago, the person in charge of getting recs for our HS (for a certain chapter) called me with questions about five girls so she could recommend them. This was pretty late the night before prefs.

If you're really stressed, though, you know that all these forms can be emailed, right? Some chapters don't accept recs after recruitment has started unless they are getting it themselves...I think it's one of those things that varies (and I am hardly an expert on the rules, so take that info for what it's worth).

Clueless also, you have my prayers today, for you and your daughter. This is an overwhelming situation and I have been through it myself on both sides.

At our UGA orientation, I don't recall them saying that recs weren't "necessary", but they did say not to worry if you didn't know anyone, that that would not keep you out. They also said not to worry about getting lots of recs to one house, that after a couple, no more was no better.

Baby Dawg ended up being cut from many houses that had 1-3 recs total. This a.m. she is headed back to 4 houses from 6 yesterday. One of those that cut her was a favorite, and she loved the ladies that took her around both times. However, we had no rec....don't really know if that counted, or if, like another mom said, she tends to be a little shy, a little reserved, but also is a fabulous girl....she comes out of her shell and becomes a leader when she gets acquainted.

I'm just encouraging her to smile lots, have fun, ask lots of questions and enjoy herself. She texted this a.m. that she headed to her first party and left her good shoes on the bus! I told her just to laugh and say she must have had a moment of heat stroke and explain that she normally would have ditched the rainbows for 3rd round. I think a normal girl would laugh with her and totally relate to that feeling. Everyone is tired, and a little brain-dead at this point.

I, too, think that even if a good girl was cut, there may be an opportunity for Continuous Open Bidding (tell her to listen out for details and how to) or Spring Rush. I've heard that after some graduate, they may fill more spaces.

Am praying for all the UGAdaughters, BabyDawgs and others in the UGA Nation today....

Oh, yes, and another alum told me last night that if her sorority had taken all the legacies when she was involved about 3 years ago, they would have filled an entire pledge class! That amazed me....when we were in school, we may have had 10 or 12 go through and 4 to 6 pledge with us.

Our ASCAPA info session does "tell it like it is" and makes sure all the girls who attend "get it" and we encourage them to spread the word to their friends. We want them going in with their eyes wide open - their moms too! So far of the nearly 40 rec requests we processed this summer, none of the girls have dropped out: at GaSouthern we had 2 Kappas, 2 AOPis and 1 Zeta; at Auburn, we had 1 TriDelta, 1 Kappa, 1 DG, 1 AChiO, 1 ChiO, 1 KD, 1 Gamma Phi and six DZs. Waiting to hear how the four we did recs for at Valdosta (2 girls) and Bama (2 Girls) do and esp the 13 we did for UGA girls!

One of the other past ASCAPA presidents and I plan to appeal to the new UGA Greek Life director to include our website address and that of Atlanta Panhel in their recruitment guide and mention us on their website - similar to what they do in Texas...wish us luck!:)

Day 4 Update
 

I am so sorry for the girls and families having a tough rush at UGA -- we feel so fortunate to have found this site "in time" to get the great advice from all the experts. We will keep our fingers crossed that all the girls find a college home where they can be happy and make the kinds of lifelong friends that we made in college.

Anyway, as for UGADaughter, maybe the old saying "Early to bed, early to rise" has some merit. She called at about 7:15 this morning and we heard the voice of a much more relaxed, much more well-rested girl who sounded very content with things. She thanked her mom for all the help and advice and then told her that she was attending 6 parties today and that she would be pleased and honored to be a new member of any of the six houses. They include all the sororities she ranked in her "top 5" and one of her "next two," so all the angst over the number 7 pick last night didn't matter. She said that she knows ranking them tonight will be very tough, but she feels very, very lucky to have that issue ahead of her. She really feels for the girls who are having a tough rush and said she knows that she is a very lucky girl.

The tent talk" is in full force at this point. She is trying not to pay attention to it, but one particular comment she keeps hearing about a sorority being on "social probation" for this whole year has gotten her attention.

Best of luck to all the young ladies at UGA today.

I just found this thread and I am sooo glad to see a dad taking such an initiative in his daughter's recruitment!!

GO UGADad!!!!!!!!!!!! Sitting on pins and needles to hear UGAdaughter's results!!! :D:D

still trying
 

Have called some people today that know my daughter - one was an officer at A O Pi (not sure if I have that spelled right or not) and when she heard that my daughter was rushing she was so upset with me for not telling her as she would have given her a glowing rec. She said that if she had given her a rec and she got cut they would have to call her and let her know why but that she wouldn't be able to share the reason but just prepare me for the cut as her mom. But, my daughter was already cut from A O Pi so we are looking for others that were in the 4 she has today.

I'm glad you're having good success with your group on the south side--my daughter has lots of friends from Fayette county in her sorority at an "undisclosed location".

One mother did mention at the Atlanta session that you should be aware that legacy doesn't mean anything anymore, but other than that, most of the questions were answered with....how shall I say this....a lot of sugar-coating. But I'm not good at that, being a midwesterner, dontcha know! ;)

Got an e-mail. She did get invited back to the one today. She liked them well enough but isn't sure if the whole sorority thing is for her now. She'll go to the pref party if she gets invited but will only pledge if she really feels a bond - in other words she's not desperate to simply be in a sorority. She said she decided to participate in rush to get to know people, and she has met several nice girls. She knows or has heard of several that got no ivites back today, so she doesn't feel so bad. I'm better despite little sleep last night. Still mad that they didn't look deep enough to get to know her at all. The girl who called didn't even get her name right!:mad:, but my experience was totally different (Small mid-atlantic school, early 80's). She will find her niche and be fine.

Mods, can this thread be moved to Recruitment stories?

suiciding
 

My daughter is getting very confused. She is very sick. Found out her roommate has cats and she's allergic. Hasn't been sleeping at all due to wheezing at night. I think lack of sleep is really confusing her along with all the daily decision makiing. She sent me a text this morning and said she is considering the suicide thing. Picking only one sorority and if she doesn't get that she's done. I told her I thought it was a bad idea but would like help from people who know better. She got 12 houses round two and six for today. She likes all of them. I think it's crazy to do the suicide. Help. I need it before she gets done today. I think it's her exhaustion talking.

If she likes them all, then why would she even consider suiciding? If she really would be happy at any of the houses she has left, especially having a full slate of invitations, then I would agree with you that it is crazy to do suicide. Of course, I personally think it's crazy for anyone to suicide unless they would honestly be MISERABLE at any house besides their preference. But that's just my humble opinion.

Suiciding should really be done only when you only like one sorority and would never under a million years accept a bid from any of the other sororities on campus. If your daughter likes all of the sororities that invited her back, I strongly don't recommend suiciding.

Thanks for the help. I'm texting her again now.